"Life may not be replete with the moments that pause your soul, the vivid memories of which cause your heart to beat differently, or make it hard to swallow. And all the better. Much of the beauty of those moments lies in their rarity -- in the awe of being in the right place, at the right time, a partaker in coincidence. And in finding a reason to believe in fate..."

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Copycat

What is with Filipinos and trying to copy foreign artists?!?! Copycats everywhere! Saw new video by *gasp* April Boy Regino, and his video is eerily identical to Outkasts' Hey Ya--complete with dance moves, round stage, and girls dressed up in 60 hippies screaming their heads off at, no less than April Boy. And, to top it off, the album's single is again, a novelty song. Let's stop it with these childrens' game chats shall we? It really is getting old. And I can't believe April Boy is jumping into this bandwagon when everyone knows his strength is in baduy masa love songs...

It's like John Maxwell says, "whatever is your strength, strengthen it more. Don't go improving your weaknesses or focusing on how you can adapt to the strengths of others because it is a total waste of time."

Hear that April Boy? Hope so.

Moonlight Over Paris

One of my favorite love songs... Didn't mind it much when it first became a hit. But when I heard my cousin sing it for his bride for their wedding.. I was just hooked, and wished I was in love in Paris as well Ü. Heard it tonight at myx.... so since I'm having f\my nth LSS for this song, might as well post it to this blog...

MOONLIGHT OVER PARIS

I. You said you've been overseas
I say over where
You say just a holiday
My Alsatian heir

I say I've been working late
Working over time
Haven't seen the sun since sixty-nine

Chorus: Does the moonlight shine on paris
After the sun goes down
If the London bridge is falling
Will anybody hear the sound
If you follow the sunset
will it ever end
Does the moonlight shine on paris

II. Oh and how can you just walk away
Is it something that i said
I see only black and white
You see green and red

You believe in the miracles
Water into wine
I believe it when it makes the new york times

Chorus: Does the moonlight shine on paris
After the sun goes down
If the London bridge is falling
Will anybody hear the sound
If you follow the sunset will it ever end
Does the moonlight shine on paris

me and eds at DLSU  Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Guilty Conscience

Spent whole day today "in the field", even if I promised Mark that I would join him early morning in the office so we can do his powerpoint for presentations on Monday. I woke up early enough, but I had to do some blogging in the house, which was why I wasnt able to make it at MDLD anymore before the Megamall meeting with the MC. After having told him that I would probably be there in the afternoon instead, I then rushed to the meeting, for which I was also late (aaargh! hate this habit!). I soon learned that convocations for DLSU was that same afternoon, so having the dilemma... I chose to go to DLSU first (yep, to see my "special someone") before going to see Mark.
Turns out, my DLSU adventure took longer than expected... and Mark texted me finally to ask if I was still going to go. Gullt-ridden, I tried to finish everything, only to arrive in tomas morato already at 6pm! He was nice about it, only mentioning once that he was already there at 8am (because I told him I would be there at 8am also!) Shucks! I've never been so guilty and embarrassed about what I did than that moment... coz I know I chose to do something that was entirely futile anyway (because the person I was supposed to meet.. well, things didnt go as planned, even if we did meet and talk for a while) than keep my earlier promise to Mark.
I know, i know. My brain would say I finished his ppt in time anyway before my dad fetched me early (yep, was only there in MDLD for 30 minutes! Sheesh, right?)... and I know he left also as soon as I did because he was not online in YM anymore after 20 minutes. I just hope next time I can make better choices and decisions, so others won't be hassled by my, well, "spontaneity"... Ü

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Back in the Habit

Wow! I can't believe it's actually been a month since I last wrote in here... so many things have happened over the past month... my trip to Bohol and Cebu, POGS launching at PICC... my knee dislocation (oh yeah, that happened just today!). Of course, my roller coaster life at work for Felina, in AIESEC, DAYS, and the "love life" (as if it exists! Haha!). Back in the Habit, eh?
I guess writing and keeping up with this blog site really takes more than just the ideas and the the experiences and the rants and raves that you need to fill the space in. More than that, it needs the commitment from me--the willingness to actually put in and contribute something each day. That takes more heart I guess.
I've never been good at keeping commitments. That's one of my biggest flaws I guess... I always thought I could keep my promises and be the always responsible/dependable girl that people always thought I was. But what they don't know is that I get restless easily. When something gets too "routinary" for me, I get bored and want to escape. Procrastination more like it. Home grown couch potato. The DVDs are my best friends lately--they keep me happy more than anything else in the world. Well, except for my pillow, that is.
Sometimes I get scared. What if I cannot commit anymore when things really need my commitment??? More than love for what I do, it's actually the GUILT that keeps me hanging on to my responsibilites so I don't slack of (at least most of the times that's true). My biggest motivator so far has been people's expectations: what others think or would think of me if I were to achieve something great and even if I come across my biggest failure. What others are saying or thinking or gossipping about me behind my back?
I guess it shows also on my relationships: I'm afraid to commit also with men. When the time comes that I have to choose, I choose not to go through with it. Then the guy just, well, leaves me alone to regret that decision forever. *Sigh* The story of my life... (which is probably told in another blog altogether)
Today though, is a classic example. I'm supposed to go to work, but freaky accident-prone that I am, I got my knee dislocated (again) for the nth time. Hmm... I should have gone to work, but I opted to rest instead... away from the horrors and pressures of work that has been gnawing at me lately. Don't get me wrong... I love my work. It's just that sometimes, I can't seem to handle all the deadlines and the pressures... it's all too much! I know I said I thrive in challenges like this, but sometimes, I just wish I had a vacation you know? Hmm... maybe I will get one in the future...
Till then, better get some rest first.. before I hit my paperwork deadlines in a couple of minutes... Cross your fingers I can continue this blog on forever! At least to that, I'd like myself to commit... Ü

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Dream for an Insomniac

I’m feeling a little more restless nowadays. I find myself suffering from insomnia almost every night as the day of the launching for Felina draws near. Can’t sleep, there are so many things to do and so many other stuff to figure out. And when I do sleep, I still dream about Felina one way or the other! Dreams of an Insomniac…..Waaaaah!!!!

There are so many moments where I just space out, trying to think about all these tasks that I have yet to accomplish. Like today at lunch, when everyone was animatedly discussing the new business Half-moon…Mark had to pinch me twice to make sure I was still in the same planet with them. I just laughed and apologized—pre-launching blues, I said. He says it’s the same for him… he barely has a month before everything comes into place. When he puts it that way, I guess I’m luckier because I was able to prepare and foresee this day several months before. But then, my launching is coming sooner than his’—I can count the days left with my ten fingers. This is the time now to coordinate everything and make sure all plans and deliveries happen on time… no buts… It’s exciting to be finally launching my product---my baby—so I can get my variable pay already! (just kidding! Haha), but this is nerve-wracking all the same. Definitely Crunch Time!!!

Caramelle

Had a very strong and unusual craving tonight for McDonald’s Caramel Sundae! I don’t exactly know at which point I was converted, as I have always avoided anything caramelle in my life! But I guess somewhere in between all the Reese’s Butter cups I digested in Baguio, to the countless caramel sundaes the MC bought during AIESEC meetings… I was able to fully appreciate it’s richness and sweet flavor. Masarap din pala! Hmm... am I easily influenced then? Did I just jump the caramel coated bandwagon just because everyone was in it?

I don't know.. but I sure hope they serve Caramel Sundae for Breakfast tomorrow Ü

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Before Sunset

Before Sunset Posted by Hello

Watched BEFORE SUNSET tonight with Eds... long-awaited sequel to Before Sunrise. Loved the first film! One of the most romantice films I've watched... full of heart...honest and soulful. Chemistry between the two actors seemed very real... it almost made me want to go to Vienna to meet my own "stranger" as well! Of course, it doesn't hurt that the view was spectacular either.. I think I would really want to go to Vienna on my AIESEC traineeship!

No surprise though that I immediately went to search the Net for spoilers to this sequel. Too bad all the reviews seemed to "hate" the film... they said it did not do justice to the first one. So, having carried all those critiques in my mind, I set out to watch this film without too much expectations.. but still with the excitement knowing i'm in for a different treat this time...

Like the original, Before Sunset was all talk (I applaud the actors for being able to memorize all those lines in just one loooooooong take!)... dissecting each issue related to the plot and the character's history, as well as anything else under the sun. I saw how their characters have grown (or so they assume they did!) but also how much they still referred back to memories in their first encounter..."that one night stand". (Love Julie Deply's sultry voice!) I thought it would actually bring closure to them both, but what happened was that you as an avid follower of their story actually became hungry for more. It was "bitin" in all sense of the word--but knowing the writers, I think that the ending was just right for the theme they were capitalizing on. Not everyone can appreciate this film, I know (I'm sure my mother won't!). But for romantics like me who believe that there is hope for finding love out there... or for giving lost loves a second chance... this movie's definitely worth seeing (and getting a pirated DVD copy of so I can dissect it some more! hehe Ü)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Interview

Had quite a busy day! Spent almost the whole of it interviewing... "hot mamas" in the morning for Felina, "cast" in the afternoon for Half-moon. It was quite tough... felt quite "toxic" after two dozen interviews (halfway through the whole thing)... I volunteered to help for Half-moon partly because I've always been curious on how it's done (nothing compared to AIESEC's RBI of course), and partly because I really wanted to help Dick and Mark... Yep, it's a "What are friends for?" moment... Ü

It actually felt both weird being on the other side of the fence, and talking to these applicants made me realize just how important job security is. Life is really hard nowadays. I became a regular at work, but I always took that for granted... I was never able to appreciate it until now. I guess in a way I'm really blessed to have a great job that gives me all this learning opportunities, a flexible working environment, and supportive colleagues and boss. I couldn't ask for more (well, except for our new office space...hehe! That one's coming up soon... Ü). I do wish all those applicants luck in wherever life takes them, even if they don't get accepted in our business projects. Sad truth is, a lot of them will really need it...

Monday, October 25, 2004

The Muse

New book: His 'N' Hers Posted by Hello
Bought my first modern novel today... I always meant to buy one. I don't know why I wasn't able to pursue it seriously before, I ended up walking away empty handed from the bookstore. I don't know either why I decided to get a book already, and why this book to be exact. I know I've browsed over its plot summary before during my nth trips to the general fiction section. But for some reason, I was drawn to buy it (even if it was quite expensive). But in the end, my 500 bucks was worth spending---I love the book! I'm actually inspired to start another collection (right after my historical romance novels phase) to jumpstart my dream writing project as well...

The book I bought was by Mike Gayle (my new muse) titled "His 'N' Hers"--story about having a closer look at relationships, what happens after the honeymooning stage (read: trying to make it work), how couples actually get closure after separation blues, and going after second chances. The story of my life, right? Ü What's surprising is how eerily familiar this author's writing style is--he writes everything in detail (just like girls swap gossip stories among friends) and he's quite adept and credible at being able to shift from the guy's to the girl's POV, creating an weave of short "blogs" which transpired in a period of eight years. That is how I usually write as well, though I have miles and miles to go before I perfect that latter skill… Have to understand how guys' minds work first.... which is actually next to impossible! hehe Ü

What struck me most was how he was able to chronicle all those "special moments" in the relationship--most authors would have stopped at the "I love you part" and you're left to assume that the rest would be a "happily ever after". In a way, he satisfied that "hunger" of mine to actually see what goes on in a relationship after the courtship and romance sort of fades into being comfortable and at ease with each other....

Reading this book was actually a blessing for me... earlier during the day I just found out that among all our cousins (all 40ish) of us, I’m the only one legally capable who’s not in coupledom yet. It’s really sad… I used to make the excuse that even my older cousins don’t have relationships yet, so it’s ok for me since I’m still young anyway. Now, they’re blissfully happy, and my younger cousins have their own puppy loves as well! It’s like when God showered love and boyfriends/girlfriends into the world, I was busy still dissecting my own lack of it to catch even one! Not that I wasn't able to get a little piece of action, it's just that I don't want to settle for anything else. Superficial me still cares for what other people might think... which is both a major factor and hindrance as well. It made me remember how lonely I really was, and how much I longed for someone special in my life. After finishing the book, however, I realized that maybe, if God intended for me to find that someone, He will give him to me in time. Even if he was in my past, or if I have yet to discover him in my future, then time can only tell. It might take days, months or even years--all I have to do wait and enjoy what I have right now. Kung kayo, kayo talaga. If He wills it though that I remain in single blessedness, so be it. Maybe my life's purpose is really somewhere else... Ü

Thursday, October 21, 2004

All in the Family

Had big preparations for tomorrow's Menopause the Musical--big assignment tonight was finishing all 1000 flyers as give aways for the event's "menopausal" audience . My task was to remove Bliss stickers first (my "punishment" for not ordering from euromed in time), clean them with acetone to remove excess paint, clean them again with oil, dry them up, put Felina stickers, glue gun them into the flyers, add additional sticker at the back, then pack them all in one big balikbayan box. Looking at this checklist, I knew I had to pull an all-nighter even just to complete half of the whole lot, which was what was required for the first run tomorrow night..

Luckily, my parents took pity on me and helped me out (my brother unfortunately was forced from his ragnarok to help also, out of sheer obedience--and fear--from my dad! heehee). We were a mini-production line: Mom cleaned, Julius took out the stickers, Dad glue-gunned. I did everything else in between. In just a few hours, we really did finish everything... and Dad even skipped his afternoon meeting just so we can finish packing as well. All in the family right? Ü

I'm really grateful...I know that I could not have really done it without them. I guess in a way, we were able to also spend time together as a "family", bonding, even if it was for my work. Last night strengthened my belief that even in my most desperate and stressful moments, there is no one else I can turn to but my family--they will never let me down. And even though we have arguments and fights a lot of times, it is during these situations that I know I would not trade my parents and family for the world... Ü

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Blast from the Past

Been up almost all night reading my best friend's blog site.. grabe! she's been doing it pala for almost two years already... hmmm... i'm not sure if she mentioned it to me, kse otherwise i would have visited it loooong time ago! But it's a good thing she told me now... after tetris and friendster... I finally found my new addiction! hehe Ü

Feels like a blast from the past.. reading all those entries. Though I wasn't there to witness everything.. felt like somehow reliving all the stories we've gone through for the past months... all the raves and rants.. and all the boys mygosh! hehehe Ü Can't believe we really dissected each and every moment with those people (well, almost all I think anyway!). Like Eda always says, it's either we're really bored with our lives and we have nothing else to talk/rant/hyperventilate about (depends on the mood!), or that we're just girls... and girls are like spaghetti right? (go figure... Ü) But then it's not just the people (or the guys in this case).. it's about having an opinion on anything... but in a way, they're opinions that still make sense. We rarely run out of things to say (that's really how opinonated we both are!).. but i guess all the conversations, the hypotheticals and the weird ones even, helped keep the friendship strong and interesting still despite the years.. (parang "relationship" ah.. haha! Ü)

It's funny how both of us have gone through so much and yet still stay in contact (though not as regular as HS freshman days--read: everyday 8-hour conversations starting at 6am... by choice!). I guess in a way, I miss her also... she knows about everything that's going on with me and is my conscience most of the time, especially during *horny* fridays... sooo rational kse!!! And she's so influential... she got me hooked on a lot of things: chix&del, chat, tetris, all my radio stations (she's my radio guru! Ü) and now blogging... I'm grateful to her for a lot of things... (friendster testimonial?!?! hehe *senti mode*)

Wish I could go to DLSU again though.. haha.. that's Eds' turf nman (im her QC / katips tour guide kse!)... Miss you dearie (personal shout-out! haha Ü) ...see you soon: Before Sunset date right? Ü

Can't Hardly Wait...

After what seems like ten million years, Jeff Bautista finally made known his presence (yes folks, he's alive!) I don't know what it is about him, but every time he sends me a message or drops a line or two, he never fails to make me smile... even if it's just a simple hey (a fact he knows already by now). Prolific Zambales councilor that he is, Jeff's in one of those conventions again, this time in Batangas... And like a tradition between us, he'd text to say he was out of town, in a special trip, and ask how my day was in return (I did the same thing when I went to Baguio for DSAP).

Of all the text mates I've had, I find myself enjoying sharing conversations with Jeff. He just makes a lot of sense, and that's quite rare nowadays, espcially if you're just swapping thoughts through SMS. It's been almost five months now, since we exchanged our first text message, and I guess a lot has happened in between. Even if we're far away from each other, somehow I know I have someone whom I can share my two cents' worth, and I know he feels the same way. It may not be romantic (yet! haha.. as if!), but it's just nice to know you connect with someone in a deeper level...

I know I've always liked Jeff, ever since our PE days, but I guess I never really knew him until now. I'm really grateful that God blessed me with this opportunity to get to know him even after so many years apart. It's a surprise to discover so many things we have in common as well--we both like plays, and we're both instrumentalists (he plays the guitar--and he plays it really well, if my memory serves me correctly--while I do mine on keyboards). We both like to hug.. which is why i owe him one when we next see each other... Ü

I used to think our first meeting after UP days would bring so much pressure. True enough, I stressed myself out last month trying to prepare for that date... only to find out in the end that we wouldn't be able to push through with it. And now that we've set another one.. I don't know if I would want to go through that agony again! Maybe, I did learn my lesson---that I should just enjoy each moment as it comes... enjoy whatever we have right now... long-distance friendship that it is.. and just look forward to our "play date" without too much expectations... =) Easier said than done right? Hehe... whatever happens though, even if we don't make it (again)... I know I'll cherish this thing I have with Jeff... whatever this might be. And until that date comes, I'll just savor each text message for now... Seeing him will just be the icing on the cake Ü Can't hardly wait... Ü

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Taxi !!!!!

Aaarrggh!!!! Hate taxis and taxi drivers! Sobrang malas na araw...

(1) 9:30 am--have to take taxi. Über late for 10am meeting. "Sorry Ma'am, magsusundo pa ko airport eh"... *sigh*.. no choice anyway..

(2) 9:45 am--still no taxis around in Marcos Hway. Panic mode! Second taxi decides to take me in.. only to take the routes where traffic is heavy! Haller?!?! Taxi driver ka ba tlga?!?! Bakit di ka marunong lumusot sa traffic?!?!

(3) 2pm --need to get money from ATM fast. Offline BDO. Offline Security Bank. No money at BPI Family Savings. Waaaah! Taxi meter running same time I was running around: total cab fare spent? 60 pesos, for ten-minute walk around Timog circle banks! errrrr.......

(4) 2:20pm--took taxi right in Buendia station..was supposed to go to Palanan across the railroad sa dulo ng Buendia. "Ay sorry Ma'am, dito lang ako Paseo"... Ngek! Sana nag-pedicab ka na lang! He brought me 100m from the waiting shed, where all the taxis passing already had passengers. Naturally! Had to wait another 20 minutes in blazing hot sun for FX (thank God may dumating!)

(5) 3pm--End of Buendia. Took taxi and (for the nth time) went around in circles trying to find Calatagan street. Ulyaning gurang reklamador driver whose taxi was a cross between a turtle crossing the street and a toddler on training wheels running around in circles.... curses!!! curseeeeeeees!!!!

(6) 3:20pm --on my way back to Buendia station after meeting with supplier. Taxi stuck in buendia/makati ave intersection! aaargh!!! di pa rush hour ah... at ang bilis ng metro!!! Tubig ba laman nyan manong?!?!

(7) 3:50pm-- kia taxicab back to office with no aircon on a scorching hot afternoon. after tiring day.. i'm reaching the end of my rope... tsk tsk....

Lesson Learned: Taxis are jinxed!!! Total taxi fare today: 465 bucks. That's already a whole cream cheese stuffed crust pan pizza! Will save myself money and avoid taxis for the meantime.. (well, unless it's really really really hot outside, in which case i can make exception ;) Or better yet.. get my own wheels na!!!!

Monday, October 18, 2004

The Net and The New Guy

Got new PCs in the business center! Finally I can get some work done in the office, instead of doing my emails at home or in the field... Don't get me wrong, field is great! But the transpo expenses are killing me! I need to save already and stop taking cabs all the time!.. tsk tsk... Got the works: 15"monitor, CD burner, MP3s, and best of all... everything's connected to the net through DSL! I can go online 24/7! Coolness Ü

Got a new guy in the team as well: Mark Galang, a.k.a. The Chef-slash-war games aficionado. He's really a great cook--he cooked for us in Baguio.. sarap ng pasta!!! He's going to manage the Half-moon business.. so can't wait to taste all the bibingcrepes! Funnily though, he looks so much like Jonjon.. and yet, I sense the difference in their auras... this guy's more mysterious, while Jon's more easygoing. I'm glad that at least now, we're talking and sharing stories already. Back in Baguio, we were always in those awkward silent moments.. dyahe! haha Ü But I'm glad we're officially working with each other at MDLD now... his fourth job so far. Welcome to the club Dude! Ü

Daddy Day Care at Dreamscape

With Pamangkins at Dreamscape Posted by Hello
Just attended children’s party at Dreamscape in Galleria—it was the first birthday of my youngest cousin, Gerick. I haven’t been to Dreamscape in what seems like centuries, and I was excited to go not only because of the free rides (I’m a child at heart, what can I say! Haha Ü), but because I haven’t seen my cousins and pamangkins for a long time.

The party was good enough. There were lots of kids (as expected), and the program was very short and sweet. There was food shortage though! Knowing us Judans, pancit, chicken and one piece of bread would only be our appetizers, so we had to order for another tray of food! Hehe Ü

Cheenee and Kaye were both my “alagas” for the day—we were stuck together like glue for the rest of the afternoon! I was one-man walking Daddy Day Care (or Ate Day Care in my case!). I did enjoy the rides with them… roller coaster addicts that they were. I wish we could see each other more often though, they’re growing up on me so fast! But seeing how the family is doing lately and with all the issues we have, I guess it’s up to the cousins and the next generations to bring back the good ‘ol days we had…

One thing I discovered though—you cannot go to family reunions without escaping the never-ending interrogations of your titos and titas. I have FAQs ready already before I came, so I was quite prepared:

First Question: Where do you work?
Template answer: Pharmaceuticals, Lloyd Laboratories

(Follow-up question: What do you do there?
Template answer: GM for start-up company.. they won’t understand “intrapreneur” anyway)

Second Question: Where’s your dad?
Template answer: Working in the office
Truth: He does not want to see anyone in the family… at least not yet… “it’s more peaceful this way”

Third (most annoying question): Where’s your boyfriend?
Also translated to: May boyfriend ka na ba?
Template answer: Wala pa po (What else do you say to that?!?!)

One cousin of mine was especially inquisitive though… I felt like my dad was there in his presence all along! Hmmm… maybe if I go to reunions more often, I would be more immune to them and these questions already! Haha Ü Which reminds me, there’s another children’s party coming up on the 28th. Have to get my FAQs (and my “bring me” bag) ready again… Ü

Sunday, October 17, 2004

PENIS Talks: All About Human Sexuality

Fresh out of Music Museum’s All About Men: PENIS TALKS—theater’s much anticipated answer to the successful Vagina Monologues series. The musical was a collaboration between director Joel Lamangan, scriptwriter Ricky Lee, and an all-ensemble male cast of the “hunkiest” actors in Philippine showbiz today.

Promotions aside, much controversy surrounded the play as well as a congressman demanded that the staging be stopped for “pornographic and malicious content”. What can probably be considered “malicious” is how this particular tidbit was used to draw more hype to the play… if there is indeed such truth to it. I guess, they were successful in this area—all seats were filled, and the reception was so enthusiastic that they’re staging a one-night-only performance on the 28th of October.

For Filipinos, theater does not draw that much attention as compared to films. It seems to demand a higher level of appreciation for the arts and culture. Which is why when such sensitive topics like Human Sexuality and vaginas and penises are tackled in theater, it’s considered art. In movies, it’s considered low-class porn. Market for theater audiences therefore are those with more liberated minds—more critical in deconstructing truths and myths about society weaved subtly (and sometimes boldly) as well in each act of the play.

For products like Felina and personal lubricants, such is our target market—those minds that are open enough to accept that there are such products available which can not only help you in your menopause stages, but stimulate your sexual life and sexuality as well. Hopefully, it will take more than just a series of Penis Talks and Vagina Monologues and Menopause the Musicals to liberate the Filipino’s conservative attitude towards sex. That is perhaps one of our biggest barriers to break, to date---and one which we are most willing to triumph over soon…



Saturday, October 16, 2004

Gossip: PENIS TALKS!

Penis Talks Cast, Director and Writer Posted by Hello
Ooh-la-lah! Went to Music Museum tonight for much-anticipated "Penis Talks"--Showbizdom's answer to very popular Vagina Monologues staged a few months back. Was quite tired already since I was up very early to judge at TIES in Market! Market! this morning, but somehow I still found the energy to go and watch men parade their "penis (es)" in artsy array. Long-overdue bonding moment also with Eda, whom I haven't seen and talked to in ages!!! We're both very busy really--me with work and aiesec, she with her thesis and tutorials...

Anyway, the play was funny and entertaining. But I found myself a little "bitin"--the episodes were short, the male sexuality issues that they emphasized over and over again were not presented thoroughly or dissected deep enough. The acting was good, esp for veteran Jenine Desiderio. Surprisingly good was Luis Alandy, who had two long solo pieces / monologues which he did deliver well. William Thio was disappointing though--he was overexagerrated with his facial expressions and line delivery (he was cute pa nman!). Ricci Chan is superb! Kudos to Dulaang UP for producing another Class A Talent (haha.. love your own! Ü). Christian Vasquez was believable as a gay macho action star--hmmm... one would wonder if he really is indeed gay in real life! (That is the tsismis db?) Lighting, costumes and set were minimal, but effective. Music was so-so..some of they lyrics I couldn’t understand well (even if my favorite part was the Awit ng Mga Titi Ep). I guess I just enjoyed more of the songs playing while were waiting for the show to start! (gotta get me one of those 70s backtrack CDs!).

Waiting for it the play to start is another story.. I was both bored and entertained at different intervals during the hour-long waiting period. Spent time searching for cuties (to no avail!), but found out that half of the audience was either gay or matroninis… I felt so out of place! To keep ourselves busy, Eds and I decided to pursue other worthwhile activities—we took silly pictures every second and played with text twist! Haha Ü Later on, my interest shifted to celebrity-watching…

It was a Starstruck evening indeed l! I was counting down the celebrities whom I've seen in the audience (for my report to Mama the next day!--in order of "appearance"): Elizabeth Oropesa, Chanda Romero, Joel Lamangan, Ciara Sotto, Izza Calzado, Ricky Lo (and Ricky Lee!), Beverly Salviejo, Boy Abunda, Rey Pumaloy, Jean Garcia and Gardo Versoza (now officially a couple! My eyes are my witness!) and Desiree del Valle. For avid showbiz fanatic like moi, this was indeed a dream come true! hahaha Ü Eda was only laughing at me, but I guess it comes with the family: I was raised in an environment where chismis-slash-pinoy hollywood gossip was part of everyday conversations--The Buzz and included! It's a fun hobby, to know about the personal lives of celebrities, but when the tables have turned (read: office gossip), you realize that it's not really fun, nor decent, after all. I'm lucky I haven't been yet the subject of any malicious gossip in the office, which my mom has been warning me about almost everyday (thank God for field work!).. and, I'm not even waiting to be subjected to any of that at all in the future!

Over-all, I enjoyed my freshman experience at the Music Museum--japanese paper umbrellas in overpriced banana shakes included. Can't wait for Menopause the Musical next week! Ü

Me and Eda at Penis Talks, Music Museum Posted by Hello

The TIES That Bind

Today was the official start of the TIES (Ten Inspirational Entrepreneurial Students) event. This was in cooperation with Thames School of Business and AIESEC Philippines. I was tasked and tapped to help organize the event in behalf of AIESEC, which means that I'm also in charge of disseminating information and coordinating with everyone else in the org. The opening event was okay, IMHO, but we actually need more participants for tomorrow's event: entrep Seminar and AIESEC activity.

More than the actual logistics and planned programme, TIES today became more special because of old friends I was able to meet, purposely and accidentally. For the first time in how many weeks, I was able to talk to Jeff Bautista, beloved Zambales Councilor, whom I haven't seen since Phil. Games days. Accidentally, I also met with Kelly Tan, former SBC President and deferred AIESEC SN, who now works in Market! Market! It's amazing how excited and nervous I was to meet these people, who at one point in my life, became close to my heart as well *hint hint* Ü What's more funny is how I was able to say the stupidest things in front of them... nerve-wracking experience that they both were. I used to think that I was pretty confident, but I guess, texting masked my excitement always, because through SMS I was still able to review / revise my thoughts, and seem pretty calm all the while (or so they thought).

More amazing is how Jon and I met up in Eastwood tonight to celebrate Oktoberfest (my sort of treat to him since I backed out two weeks ago). It was an impulsive move on my part to actually push through with it, since I usually turned him down before. But we really had a blast! Drinking to SMB, dancing, and partying the night away! Yeah! Ü Too bad I had to go home soon (as usual) because of my curfew (read: batas!), and it was really kinda "bitin" for him. Oh well, maybe next time (wink wink)

I find myself really enjoying Jon's company more and more as we go out and see each other. He really is a nice person, and there's not too many of those species these days. I'm glad to have a friend in him... I can tell him anything that happened in my day, knowing that he understands somewhat (he is in the same business after all!). And I admire his tenacity as well in earning for himself and his family. Hope everything goes well in his next week's work / bids (I'll cross my fingers--if he earns big-time, he promised me shopping! yay! haha Ü)

It's funny how old TIES, how old friends suddenly come up unexpectedly when you least expect them.. life's little surprises. They're the TIES that bind: old connections from your past that help you appreciate more the good things in the present, and makes you realize too that some good things in the past should remain as they are: good things in the past.. for now, I'll just have to live each moment as they come, and seize the day. I'd be grateful for the opportunity to gain closure from issues from old ties, so I can move on and live more of each day that comes... Ü

Friday, October 15, 2004

Writer's Block

Haven't had sleep yet... I'm addicted to blogs! I find myself writing several posts tonight.. which is good because I know I haven't had this urge to write for a long time. Writer's block I guess.. I'm very "seasonal". Feels great knowing I've actually finished something I've started writing.. Which I should train myself to do more often if I plan to really get something published in this lifetime.. even if it's just a summit book story Ü Have to start on that project soon...

Just decided also I'm getting movie titles for my blogs... no particular reason. I like movies, I like blogs, and I like challenges (hope I don't run out of movies soon... thanks to IMDB! hehe) Nice to combine them all together Ü

Hmmmm.. time to hit the sack! Quality of writing slowly deteriorating... *yawn* sleepiness... zzzzzz.....

You've Got Mail!

Finance and ER Team, UPD Posted by Hello

I'm soon learning the joys of technology, especially in my work in AIESEC, where everything works through emails, yahoogroups, net communites, and of course, YM chat meetings. Just finished chat meetings this week with Mindanao LCs, which surprisingly produced more outputs that the actual face-to-face meetings I've called for the past week. It's so much hassle calling everyone together, trying to get a common time, when all everyone has to do basically is actually email their inputs and documents in the end. I need emails now more than ever.. nothing brings me more joy than seeing the words "you've got mail" in my alerts...as everyone is preparing legislation dockets per department for legislation at NPM. And since I can't be there because of Menopause the Musical, I have to fix everything earlier than the rest! Stress! Stress!

Yahoogroups does wonders also, especially in plugging for the TIES event tomorrow (or rather later, in a few hours, at Market! Market!) We really need to haul in people to attend the opening.. because it's going to be televised live at myx, and because we promised Joel Santos and Mino and Cheya. AIESEC reputation on the line here.. tsk tsk.. hope everything goes well! I'm crossing my fingers...

Saved!

WWJ Days Batch 7 Posted by Hello
"Mommy Rach" texted me today to find out if we would still push through tomorrow for Nasty's surprise party... which I have to find out yet tomorrow from Bien. I'm glad that my Days family is growing, and that we still keep in touch despite our hectic scheds...

I've always looked for something somewhere--an avenue where I can actually practice my faith. I've always been active spiritually in HS and in our neighborhood community, but I find everything that I do so "plastic". Everything seems to be required--our practices have to be done because it's considered sinful already if you don't. Of course when you're still a kid, you just accept everything you're told to don in blind faith... I guess I did. But growing up in UP did change much... I didn't have theo or religion classes anymore, but I did have philo.. which made me actually question my faith... how real was God in my life knowing that I didn't anymore pray as much as I did before, nor go to mass, nor did my novenas at Sta. Clara, nor lead prayers in the community...

Which is why I'm really glad and grateful that I was able to go to Days. I didn't realize before how much I really wanted to find my faith back. Now that I'm through with the retreat, and I'm living my fourth day , so to speak, I can't say that I'm already religious again.. that I can be as devoted as my mom or my lolas going to masses and praying all the vigils... because I found my calling in Days: not to do these rituals, but to help others in finding God in their lives as well. Living my faith in service...

One day, I hope I can become rector. It would really be a dream come true to share and inspire others how I was saved and how my faith was restored, and somehow, in my own little way, touch their lives as God has touched mine. Right now, I have to learn the ropes first and serve as staff and sponsor... strengthen my commitment to Him and to this community. But before that, have to find nasty first for tomorrow's reunion with my sisters! hehe Ü

First Daughter

Me and Julius Posted by Hello
Earlier tonight, my dad was asking me what my plans are for tomorrow. I couldn’t answer him directly, because I myself is still confused on what I'm supposed to do tomorrow--what my exact agenda is. I know I have to figure this out really quick, because wake-up time for the rest of the fam is in just a few hours, and it seems like lately, they have been all working around my schedule to accommodate me...

I used to think that I could do everything.. at the risk of spreading myself thin, just so I can schedule everything accordingly.. time management at its best. I was good at doing this... so I just continued accepting duties and activities in all my usual affiliations. I thrived on keeping myself busy, I found that I worked better when Im pressured, especially when I cram (which I really do hate!)... but that I enjoy doing and achieving a lot of things. Which explains my motivation I guess for joining a lot of organizations, even the high-profile and most demanding ones. Prestige is just part of the package, what drives me most is that feeling that I was able to accomplish everything... hence, the carpe diem motto...

What I didn't realize until now was how much my family really sacrificed to make this crazy dream of mine come true. I never drove that much before, so my dad has to fetch me everytime I have late night meetings or friday night gimmicks, or overnights with friends---all my activities he was always there to support me. My mom has also helped me a lot with weird errands--when I have to go to strange faraway places that I have never been to, she was always willing to commute with me just so I was safe. And most of the time, their whole worlds literally stopped just so they can accommodate me...My brother, well, we do not agree a lot on things, but he has always been there to "cover up" his ate when I wasn't able to ask permission to go on dates or to be late coming home...

Which makes me grateful and guilty at the same time... because I don't want to seem so selfish to them that I only mind my own life.. that I don't adjust to them anymore. My brother always says he envies me, that I have all the "perks" of being the eldest... of being the "first daughter".. because I have all the freedom to do everything I want, and I have all their full support... And my parents are not getting any younger I know... Sometimes I know they will not say it to my face, but they complain of back aches and rheumatism... which they got because they were always traveling with me. It makes me sad.. and really guilty.

I do sometimes feel like a princess (which they call me at home) because of all the pampering I've received from my family. But I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be a prima donna. I want to help them.. I'm willing to adjust also. I want to be a good daughter. But I guess, that means, also compromising some of my ambitions.... some of the travels I have to do later on, when I finally get my dream car... because I don't want them to adjust so much anymore. Because maybe I should really spend more time with them, instead of my work or my friends. Because I know my family is more important...and they have always been "my dream" as well. Ü

Catwoman

Felina! Posted by Hello
Am now officially "Catwoman"--Today is my officialy first day as a regular at Naturale Labs after finishing 6 months probation. Yay! Kudos to me... "great job so far" says my boss! Am now happy Lubricant Lady! Felina anyone? Haha Ü

Work is good. Learning experiences keeps me on my toes.. Opportunities to meet and grow are abounding! But I have to work faster... have to cure my own procastination and challenge myself to work faster than my boss.... who happens to be "Flash" and "Superman" at the same time! (Am still wondering how he can manage all his businesses... it's 5 now, and still growing... have time for the beach and his kids.. and still pressure me to work fast! sheesh!) Which means now I'm having sleepless nights thinking about the Launch and all.. and when I do sleep, I think about Felina still!

What's dragging me now is documentation (which I've always loathed doing--I understand the point, but still lazy to do it! hehe), and synchronizing everything in a perfect orchestra. It's really tough, especially now that I'm still learning the ropes.. but I know pretty soon that excuse won't make the cut, esp now that I'm a regular. Delays are not acceptable, even if it's out of your control.. because I know I should have been on top of things trying to make sure that they don't happen... But since I'm quite forgetful, I know I have to write everything down more often and really stick to my checklist and deadlines. Right, which reminds me... I have to do it right after this blog! Which means now actually, just as soon as I finish my energy drink (read: fourth cup of moccaccino for tonight! Caffeine galore!) Ü

Single White Female

All-time overabused topic of conversation: my nonexistent love life! As a girl (my excuse!), everything about this particular aspect of my life has already been dissected too many times, each time as confusing even painful than the last one. Of course, discussion wouldn’t have been this colorful without the inputs every so often by good friends, and even a few of those "objects of affections" (those fortunate-- or unfortunate, depends on how you look at it--enough to know a little more about lil 'ol me). Which brings me to think about why I'm still this "single white female"--wandering aimlessly, trying to keep busy with everything and everyone else, but yep, still single just the same..

Lately, I've always let my mind wander into the what-ifs... a dangerous thing to do, especially if you're daydreaming of something to happen from nothing... from scratch, since you finally have a "lead" with someone. In my case, it's "two" someone's... at least one of them would have some good news to bring right? Wrong. Lessons in pre-school... golden rule: don't count chickens before they hatch. (or is it eggs? eggs before chicken? chicken before eggs? hell, that's another debate altogether!)

It's a vicious cycle--the story of my life: guy not like-able at all starts to date me, girl starts to like guy, guy disappears, girl now "confused single white female"... i hate this. Have to stop addiction to bad guys who treat me like sh-t. Sick and tired already .. and helpless...and lonely...

I do think about the good things.. my friends, my work, my family... everything else God has blessed me with keeps me happy and distracted. But nights like this, when I'm alone trying to work and blog at the same time.. can't help but wonder... am I bound to be "single" for good? Am I ready to just let fate decide my path and leave everything to chance? Am I willing to let go of the "search"--of the people I've hold on to for the past "hundred" years or so? Am I willing to just embrace singlehood for now and love others and myself more? Hmmmm...I guess so... Ü

Girl, Interrupted

My first attempt at blogging (ok, so its the second technically.. but the first one's for work anyway Ü). I know I've had online journals and sort-of girlish diaries I've kept since childhood--all of which I haven't completed anyway. So, hopefully this one I can really update more often and really write something on it... instead of letting it just rot like my other ill-forgotten past journals.. I have high hopes for this anyway... im in the blogging mood lately, thanks to my blog-addicted friends as well! haha Ü I'm easily influenced!

I guess in a way, I need this also to help keep my sanity... Starting to feel stress! Yikes.. Girl, Interrupted anyone? I know I'm "psycho" officially (in AIESEC) and unofficially, but from the way things are.. Im starting to think it's actually true! Things are pretty crazy lately... with work, with Days, with AIESEC.. I need an outlet.. fast! I hope this will keep me on my toes also.. I need to let out my thoughts and ideas more so I can review them and actually do something about it later on... lest I forget all about it. Better to be more proactive I think, now more than ever, than just rant about, well, the world in general... makes sense to me Ü