Gladax Judai

September 20th, 2014

2011-07-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

Phuture Wedding

Wedding Date:

Brides date of birth:

Grooms date of birth:

Here is their numerological forecast from
20 September 2014

Click on the number to find it's significance for each person.

Date	Bride	Groom	Match
2014	6 Year	8 Year	Yes
September	6 Month	8 Month	Yes
20 (S)	8 Day	1 Day	Yes
21 (S)	9 Day	2 Day	No
22 (M)	1 Day	3 Day	Yes
23 (T)	2 Day	22 Day	Yes
24 (W)	3 Day	5 Day	No
25 (T)	22 Day	6 Day	Yes
26 (F)	5 Day	7 Day	No

For 2014 the following months are good numerological matches for this couple:

Month	Bride	Groom
February	8 Month	1 Month
April	1 Month	3 Month
September	6 Month	8 Month
November	8 Month	1 Month

For September, 2014 the following days are good numerological matches for this couple:

Date	Day	Bride	Groom
2	Tue	8 Day	1 Day
4	Thu	1 Day	3 Day
5	Fri	2 Day	22 Day
7	Sun	22 Day	6 Day
9	Tue	6 Day	8 Day
11	Thu	8 Day	1 Day
13	Sat	1 Day	3 Day
14	Sun	2 Day	22 Day
16	Tue	22 Day	6 Day
18	Thu	6 Day	8 Day
20	Sat	8 Day	1 Day
22	Mon	1 Day	3 Day
23	Tue	2 Day	22 Day
25	Thu	22 Day	6 Day
27	Sat	6 Day	8 Day
29	Mon	8 Day	1 Day

Wedding date planner

Every couple planning on getting married wants the best possible start to the rest of their lives together. When planning a wedding, the date is usually the first thing that needs to be decided. There will be many factors that influence the decision on the date of the big day, but often there will be several possibilities all weighing up as equally good. Numerology can be used as a nice tie breaker in the final decision.

Just as the day we are born maps out the path our life will take so too does the day on which we marry influence the path of the relationship. Finding an auspicious day for a wedding using Numerology can be complicated as calculations need to be performed for each day for both the bride and the groom. The calculator provided here gives an easy to use, quick reference lookup over the range of a week using the birth date of the bride and groom.

Numerology using date of birth against a calendar date provides 3 numbers. The most important of the 3, which has the greatest influence on any date, is the Personal Year number. The 2nd number and of next greatest influence is the Personal Month number. Finally there is the Personal Day number, which has the least influence. It's always the small details that make the biggest difference so the personal day is most applicable when choosing a wedding date. Even though it is of least significance in numerology it is the number you should pay most attention to.

The numbers are listed below in order for quickly referencing their significance when using the numerology wedding calculator on the right.

A personal year, month or day of 1 is a number of beginnings, new starts. People in a 1 personal year, month or day have a tendency to be a bit self absorbed. Ambition is a key element of this number. Individualism. The number 1 does however remain a good number for a wedding date as it indicates a start and a commitment to the new life.

A personal year, month or day of 2 is a number of unions, balance and diplomacy which makes it ideally suited to the taking of vows, signing of contacts, entering into a long and fruitful union. The number 2 is the opposite to the number 1 in that it ignores self interests and ambition to work with others to create harmony, productivity and creativity.

A personal year, month or day of 3 is a number of joy, happiness, social gatherings, self expression and creativity. A 3 personal day is the best day for a happy social gathering of friends. A wedding on this day would be a successful social event that would be joyful and memorable.

A personal year, month or day of 4 is a number of restrictions, hard work, setbacks and is considered unlucky in east asian cultures. Stay at a hotel in China or Korea and you will find no 4th floor and usually no 13th either. The number 13 is considered unlucky by western cultures, in numerology it reduces to 4 (1+3) the two numbers being related in their symbolic meaning. However, this is a superstition and not a symbolic property of the number 4 in numerology. The number 4 is a very rigged and stable number. As a base number it is an good choice as it symbolises a solid foundation. A good number for a man to have, a 4 personal year would not be a bad year for a man to marry in. In Tarot The Emperor is the 4th card of the Major Arcana and represents a solid rock of authority that others can anchor on.

A personal year, month or day of 5 is a number of freedom, travel, changes, the un-exepected and sensual pleasures. It is not a number for settling down or entering into a union that sacrifices freedom. It is a number of sexual attraction, a good number if you are looking to meet someone new but not for creating a bond with someone you are already with. In Tarot's Minor Arcana the 5's are traditionally bad cards to draw. The number 5 is a very unstable number.

A personal year, month or day of 6 is a number of family, responsibility and the home. Of all the numbers in numerology this number is the most auspicious number for creating a home with someone, settling down and perhaps having a family too if that is important to you. Try to have a 6 in the personal date numbers of both the bride and groom when picking a date for a wedding. In Tarot's Major Arcana The Lover's is card number 6.

A personal year, month or day of 7 is a number of rest, introspection and is the spiritual number. If you are entering into marriage with some emphasis on religious or spiritual significance then 7 may be a good number for you. Otherwise it should be treated as a day of rest, a day to think ahead, look before you leap and not act.

A personal year, month or day of 8 is a number of wealth, power, fertility and good luck. When China hosted the Beijing Olympics the games began on 08/08/08 for this very reason. In east asia 8 is considered very lucky. It represents the infinite in it's shape. As the symbol for infinity it is an auspicious number for creating an ever lasting union. Every marriage and every wedding day needs some element of luck and the 8 carries it like no other number.

A personal year, month or day of 9 is a number of endings, the clearing out of the old, compassion and humanity. It is a neutral number in many ways, but as a number for a wedding date it does not aspire to the creation of something new, the start of a union. If this number is impossible to avoid in your date planning remember too that it can signify the ending of being single if looked at in a positive manner.

A personal year, month or day of 11 is a special day as 11 is a master number. Master numbers are rare and have dual meanings. They can be reduced further to a base number. So 11 becomes a 2 (1+1). As the 2 is a good number for a wedding date so too is the 11. The 11 can charge you up with inspiration, illumination and intuition. This, however, can also make you feel highly self-conscious.

A personal year, month or day of 22 is a special day as 22 is a master number. Master numbers are rare and have dual meanings. They can be reduced further to a base number. So 22 becomes a 4 (2+2). 22 is rarer than the 11 and is called the master builder. There is a promise of greatness to the number 22. A bride or groom with a 22 in their wedding date can take this union to greatness, a very auspicious number.

Phuture Me's wedding date calculator, we hope you like using our wedding date numerology, numerology wedding date is fun and adds an extra special meaning to your big day, we hope you find our free online numerology wedding date calculator easy to use! If you have any problems with the wedding day calculator please contact us and let us know! Phuture Me offers more free numerology online calculators, take a look around our site for what else we have to offer!

Birthday Wish List 2011

2011-01-01T12:08:00.005+08:00

As the months of birthdays draw near, (and just in case someone is peeking)... allow me to share my own fearless wish list for my 28th on the 25th:

1. Bible
2. Arm Band for iPod Nano
3. Black and White thin belts
4. Party Bag
5. Strappy Sandals
6. Brasierre and Undies set
7. Calorie-count book
8. Anne Rice's Christ the Lord Series
9. Car Seat Covers
10. Auto-lock and auto-windows
11. Ipod Touch
12. Speakers Dock
13. Complete DVD seasons of a TV series
14. Trip to Bangkok
15. Espadrille Sandals
16. Taylor Swift CDs
17. New Earphones
18. Pedometer
19. Body Bag for Weekends
20. Belt Bag for Travel
21. Luggage Set
22. Bangles
23. White Gold Bracelet
24. Red Sexy Heels
25. LWD
26. Nina Garcia's Book on 100 Essentials
27. Hair Makeover: highlights, new cut, the works!
28. World Peace

A Year of Firsts in 2010 | A Year to Look Forward to in 2011

2011-01-01T11:43:00.005+08:00

2010 was a year of definitive milestones, and many firsts:

Fun Run - joined my first 3K in March for UL Run United, and ran 4 5Ks after for AACE Boston Run, Robinsons Buddy Run, Rexona Run, and again for Run United 2... all in good time! Woot!
Blood Donation - UL's EC had a donation project, and it was a good opportunity to donate to Children's hospital. Was woozy a bit, but didnt mind doing it for a good cause.
Pirates - sing and dance live to Aint That Mountain High Enough... wenches savvy!
Boston & New York - first time to visit the East Coast, and it was the best time to see Nikki and the Family too! Niagara falls was spectacular!
Dumaguete - summer adventures with Trippers, this time Ling joined us. Loved the Apo beach, papa Coco, and all the fun times with friends.
Chorale Concert - Katuwaan in October was the fruit of months-long practices with the ISDF Chorale. Sang my first solo too: "dinggin mo... dinggin mo...." nerve-racking, but sooooo fulfilling after!
Checking Account - first step towards professionalizing our business. Franchising, here we go!
S&R, Wensha, CEO Suites, GoHotels - one of the few monthsaries with Ling... always loved going to new places and experiencing new things with Bebe
Trattoria, Borough, Uncle Cheffys - new restos to celebrate monthsaries with Ling and reunions with old friends.
Republiq - spotted: single PMG ladies partying it up at Republiq. Had fun getting lost and doing time on traffic (and parking) with Badet.

I am not certain what 2011 holds for me, but I am filled with hope for what the new year will bring. Definitely will focus on Health (drop down to 125 lbs!), Travel (Bangkok) and Business/MBA. Here's hoping that 2011 will bring forth more memorable firsts and more life-defining adventures. Let's bring it on!

Holidays 2010

2011-01-01T11:18:00.005+08:00

Christmas Season came and went by so fast! With all the preparations and festivities, I had the best and happiest time celebrating my favorite holiday:

Old Traditions We Continued

Greenhills Night Market – went twice, with family and Ling on our 22^nd monthsary. Isaw, Hotdog, BBQ, Popcorn, Shawarma, Scramble Bibingka, Twistix. Food trip galore! Thanks for the Adidias shirt too Ling!
Pink-Red (and Gold) Christmas – congrats Lowlah Boppy for organizing again… was Garland Girl this year for all training institutions
ISDF Caroling – rode with Hends this year, and got cookies from Mamu Babes to pass the time while in traffic. Had fun going around again on all offices. Field trip!
LRI Drive Thru – level-up as the Christmas reindeers sang minus-one Tis the Season for all the offices
Simbang Gabi – went alone on the first night, for Fr Gerry Orbos’s mass at Greenhills, then attended CTK evening mass with Ling for our monthsary, and again at dawn mass with the family J hope I can complete the 9 mornings one of these years…
Exchange Gifts – PMG’s annual white elephant panic-mode exchange gifts. Got Spa GCs at Blue Water Day Spa from Ge. 2011’s first Monthsary with Ling, here we go!
Reunions – it was crazy organizing, but I still had fun meeting up with Friends: Kwailuh date with April @ Chilis, Powerplant, Haberdei brunch @ Borough & Breton, Podium, Tentatues @ Liv’s Uncle Cheffy’s, Burgos Circle, and Ohana @ Fez, Serendra
LRI Party – wore Red this year, but still Shembot sexy. Will be Green in 2011, I promise!
UL Year Ender – slept the morning away, but got good parking nonetheless at the end of Ultra. Fun fun okray session for the raffle girl, good thing Bossing Vic Sotto saved the day!
Mass Texts – still unlitxt, still mass texts and greets, still listing up everyone. Tedious, yes. But it’s worth the effort to send good cheer and receive nice greetings in return.
Red Christmas – yup, still color coded. Dad changed from his yellow shirt to a red one for the fam picture taking
DVD Series – was thinking of the Gossip Girl this year, but bought the critically-acclaimed the Office instead. Was curious on all the fuss. Still in Season 2 though. Whatta douchebag boss! Still funny nonetheless… reminds me of someone actually… hmmm….
Vacation with Villamar Kids – whatta two days! Shopping galore at all malls and tiangges and department stores. Had fun playing santa with the kids :)

New Traditions We Started

Noche Buena – first time to come up with the menu and cook for Noche Buena. Julius helped with the grocery and prep time too! First time family finished the whole Sicilian Chicken Salad… but left out the cheese-heavy lasagna to be devoured the next day.
Reading list – lotsa books this holidays! Finished a self-help (5 Love Languages), 2 romance novels (Juile Garwood’s Mercy and Shadow Dance, thanks to Ling’s advanced tiangge monthsary gifts)
Coins in the house – Mom got the idea from Tita Letlet, and hence spread out the coins in each room… for later pick-up during New Year’s.
New Haircut – had my hair shortened a bit and layered much. Still getting used to it, but I love the light feeling. Haha! Happy New Hair! J

Old Traditions We Missed

MMFF – We were supposed to go as part of reunion get-together with ADMU friends, but Cha was not able to go down in time from Baguio. Nothing interesting this year anyway… except maybe for Dalaw and Rosario (which I’ll prolly catch in DVD instead).
Sta Lucia Fireworks – twas raining that time, and Dad was not feeling well so the family was not able to catch the annual fireworks this year.
Marikina market on New Years – Mom bought in the afternoon instead… still had the 12 bilog-bilog fruits in the table.
New Year’s Fireworks – first time to buy the fireworks myself… fail! Kaya pala mura, the fireworks ended fast… plus some of them burst *almost* in our faces and hands! Yikes! We gave some of them away and made torotot instead.

Twas the most eventful holidays, with old and new traditions alike. I loved traditions, but I loved the time to rejuvenate, reflect, be with Family and be with God again.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year’s Everyone!

Birthday Wish List 2010

2010-01-20T08:56:00.004+08:00

Here's the birthday wish list from the birthday girl:

1. Laptop Bag
2. Body Bag
3. Gym Bag
4. Backpack
5. Matte Lipstick
6. Pedometer
7. Gym clothes (jogging pants & top)
8. Pasta cookbook
9. Lingerie set
10. Running Shoes

[note: i got 8 out of 10... I didn't get everything on my birthday per se, but some gave me the gifts and I bought the rest throughout 2010. not bad at all! so thankful for the blessings!:)]

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

2010-01-01T02:02:00.006+08:00

It’s been an eventful 2009. A lot of highs and lows, triumphs and challenges, thrown in with the occasional surprises too. Here’s a look back to the year that was:

A Love Life in Bloom. February 20^th was the birth of the Lings. After 10 monthsaries, senior moments, food trips, adventures, wink winks… the rest was history.
A Bunch of First Timers. Not a virgin territory anymore: UAAP game, Nuvali, La Mesa Ecopark, Spring Awakening, Pacquiao Pay-per-View, Discovery Suites, Bellinis. First time to sing with Erik Santos too! *starstruck*
A Powerful and Precise Brand. Norizec was transferred to LRI, to be championed by moi. Was given the opportunity to be team leader for EM2 as well
A Flash Flood. Manila came to fear that one word: Ondoy, which left us with a lot of awakenings. More than half of our belongings were washed out by the flood, but we had more room to welcome new things, and in our hearts a renewed strength.
A Couple of Trips, here and there. Mexico, US (twice), Macau, Camiguin, Davao. And a looooot of field works in between. I love my work!
A Chorale. ISDF repertoire for 80-20, REF, and the caroling stint. A concert might be in the works next year!

Astrologers say that 2010 would be a challenging year for many. But I, for one, am looking forward to achieving my own personal goals for the year:

Personal: Learn how to cook pasta, be more on time, fix self more.
Career: Focus on database updates, relationship building
Business: Get options with financing and location maps
Health: Drop down to 125 lbs. Exercise more, choose food wisely
Finance: Deposit 50K in account. Save more, spend less.
Love life: Be more patient and understanding.
Spiritual: Get a mentor, read the Word and reflect everyday.

For 2010, I want to focus on (1) Health/Diet (Food and Exercise), (2) Finances and Savings, (3) Career & Business. The rest are daily habits that I would like to practice and imbibe in myself as well.

Here’s to another round of resolutions I hope to keep, and an amazingly eventful 2010! Cheers!

A New and Old Christmas

2009-12-25T12:54:00.005+08:00

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year, mostly because of all the traditions that the holiday brings. This year brought forth both old and new traditions, most of which filled up the last quarter of my social calendar:

*New* Pink-Red Christmas Décor. LRI’s Christmas elves went around medical institutions: ISDF, UST, and SLMC to decorate pink & red wreaths, garlands and Christmas tree. Shining Shimmering Glittering Galore!
*Old* LRI Drive-Thru. Second Year in a Row to wish and sing carols for UL enablers and give Parol gifts. Bonding with PMG after at Nuvali.
*New* ISDF Chorale’s Caroling. First caroling of the group around pharma companies. Kapuy driving around to Christmas traffic, but it's been fun donning the hats and singing along with the choir. Dream come true :)
*Old* Greenhills Night Market. Food tripping of isaw, bbq, fish ball, bibingka, shawarma, hotdogs while watching the COD christmas animation. Sarap!
*New* Meralco Christmas Lights. Meralco added new attractions this year, from the large copper Belens, to the christmas houses, santa's sleigh, and Mom's favorite Train! Choo-choo!
*Old* Simbang Gabi. Was not able to complete this year’s 9 masses, but was able to celebrate 3: 15^th at Greenhills (celebrated by Fr. Orbos), 16^th at CTK with Ling (our annual tradition), and 20^th dawn mass at CTK with family (another family tradition).
*Old* Enchanted Kingdom. 10^th Monthsary celebration at the well-loved amusement park. It’s been years since I last visited, and though tiring, it was great trying out all the rides again. The ferris wheel has never had a lovelier sight, with Ling holding my hand at gondola number 20 :)
*Old* Exchange Gifts. Learned about White Elephant exchange gifts this year with PMG and Ohana. Fun fun fun!
*Old* Unilab Year-Ender. Didn’t win the raffle this year (lightning can only strike once after all!), but was able to join the program—singing the Christmas Carol with Erik Santos. Starstruck!
*Old* Reunions. All new venues this year: Tentative Tuesdays @ Kebab Factory, Haberdei @ Eat Well, KwaiLuh @ Kabisera, and House parties with the ISDF Chorale (@ Mamu’s place) and Ohana (@ Milo’s place).
*Old* Christmas Greetings. Mass texts, posts and emails to friends, relatives, officemates. No unlitxt this year though, Globe suspended it early. Boo! But can’t resist still mass greeting (and listing up) everyone.
*New* Black and White Christmas. Themed Christmas for this year, both for our christmas outfits and our food. Julius and I cooked noche buena for the first time. Good job!
*New* Christmas Lunch. Clawdaddy at Boni High for some good ‘ol Baby Back Ribs and Szechuan Crabs. Yummy!
*Old* MMFF. Watching I Love You Goodbye with Drew. Probably saving Wapakman for DVD instead (haha!)
*Old* Christmas reunions with BFFs. Catch up over mini-reunions with Eda @ Sakae, MOA and Drew @ Fish&co, Trinoma. Missed these two friends, it's been a while since we last saw each other... thank God for Christmas gifts (new notebook from Eda, and A Time Traveler's Wife from Drew) and great friendship over the years. *hugs*
*New* Christmas with Ling. First Christmas with the Boyfriend, meeting up in Bulacan to hear Mass at Divine Mercy Shrine. Exchange gifts: my adidas ateneo jacket for him, and his coach bag for me. Loved them both, but I love my lingling more :)
*New* Christmas Party with Villamar cousins. Joy and Ine will have a sleepover at our house as we take them out to see Manila.
*Old* Sta. Lucia Fireworks. Watching the show with fam on the 30^th.
*Old* Christmas and New Year Blogs :)

My December was certainly full of old traditions and new activities, as my planner has itself witnessed. But all these made the holidays truly fun, eventful, nostalgic and memorable. Thank you to family and friends with whom I celebrated each special day this yuletide season. Wishing everyone a Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Middle

2009-08-28T15:43:00.003+08:00

I'm in the middle of the sales and marketing meeting, trying to fix our figures so we can hit our quota for the month of August. At the same time, I'm in the middle of my weekly tasks trying to figure out what to do first, my boss' requirements or those long-overdue papers that were buried in my backlog files.

I want to pause and take a breather and think about what I really want to do.. not just for today but for the long term. I'm tired mostly, often, because I feel lost already. I don't know if I should still be doing what I'm doing. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. This is not my strength. Bottomline, I'm not happy, I'm not fulfilled.

If I had my way, I would just be a housewife, a mother, a wife. An entrepreneur, doing the business that I would love to do, and not answerable to anyone else. I would take care of my family, my husband and kids (in the future), for in my mind, I was already able to work in corporate and be a brand manager... my dream since I was a kid. Now that I'm here, I feel like I ought to be... somewhere else now.

Then again, this job puts food on our table, pays our bills, and gives us the mobility/car that we need. The family has no one else to turn to, and I cannot be selfish enough to want something else when in fact, having a job in itself is a blessing. Much more with Unilab's comprehensive benefits.

The question then is.. how long do I drag myself to work? how long do I stay in the middle? how long will it take for me to take the plunge and lead my life the way I want it to?

*sigh*... maybe someday. When I'm at the end of my rope. For now, I'd settle for the middle-ground.

Friday the 20th

2009-02-20T12:56:00.003+08:00

I never thought I would be happy again. After so many hits and misses, I was resigned to accept the fact that maybe singlehood is the path for me. And then, an old friend came along.

He had been waiting in the sidelines for what seems like a lifetime.. watching the flurry of people come and go in my life, listening and comforting me when things went downhill (like the good friend that he is), until he finally got the courage to fight for what he always believed was rightfully his (or so he says). One drunken christmas party after, on that fateful street in Quezon City.. he got down on one knee and asked permission to pursue me. Seriously this time. No turning back. And the rest was history...

The days and weeks and months went by, and as we met each others' friends, families, officemates, past flings, and got to know how the other half lived... I realized that I was truly blessed to find someone who not only fit my non-negotiables to a tee, but someone who sincerely, truly loved me.

I thought it mattered when or where or how.. but then all that mattered was that we were given this day to show how much we loved each other...

I'm keeping the faith, stronger than ever. I now believe that it can and it will rain when you want it hard enough. And that there is such a thing as the right person and the right timing. And that prayers can do miracles. And there are such things called fate. People who are meant to be. People who are soulmates.

Happy Friday the 20th Ling! Love you! :)

Wishful Thinking: My Birthday Wish List

2009-01-03T21:11:00.009+08:00

I've always believed that if you wished hard enough, and if you write things down, your most fervent wishes are most likely to come true. Hence, in the essence of the mantra "ask, believe, and you shall receive", below is my birthday wish list (in case anyone is peeking):

1. A Surprise Party (I've never had one, and I think it would be a blast!)
2. Bath and Body Works Vanilla Lotion
3. Victoria's Secret Love Spell
4. Kate Spade Black Bag
5. Naturalizer Black Pumps
6. Guess Wallet or Fino Purple Leather Wallet
7. Parker Purple Pen
8. Tickets to a concert or a play
9. Bouquet of Purple Flowers
10. Kenneth Cole Dual Time Watch
11. Bridal Spa Package (Facial / Mani-Pedi / Massage.. the works!)
12. Seat Covers for Vios
13. Padded Laptop Bag
14. Olay Regenerist Set
15. Blue Ocean / Good to Great Book
16. Buffet Dinner at Circles
17. Home-baked pasta or cake (para may effort ;)
18. Platinum or White Gold Bangle / Single-chain Bracelet
19. Round-Trip Tickets to Coron, Batanes or Caramoan (my top 3 destinations this 2009!)
20. Gold clutch bag
21. Little Black Dress (or short-mini dress)
22. Face Shop Foundation or Eye Make-up
23. Travel Journal / Scrapbook
24. A Donation to World Vision, Tahanang Walang Hagdan, Red Cross, or U-Foundation in my name
25. A Nice Boyfriend (for a change)
26. World Peace ;)

26 Wishes for my 26th Birthday. LOL. Wishing and Hoping and Crossing all my fingers (and toes!) If by any chance I shall be blessed with any of these gifts, then I shall count myself truly lucky. Truth is, all I really wanted is to always have good health, peace of mind and to appreciate the love of friends and family around me. I'm already grateful for all my blessings :)

Haberdei to Me (and to Tita Cory!) :)

Looking Back at 2008 | Looking Forward to 2009

2008-12-29T20:56:00.004+08:00

It's been a while since I blogged, and as I read through the archives, I realize that much really has happened for the past months that I wasn't really able to write about. 2008 has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, triumphs and defeats, falling in love and heartbreaks. Let me count the ways:

Inang Romana: Started the year with an early Farewell, to my beloved Inang who passed away at our ancestral home in Munoz. Will miss all your cooking, all the thoughtfulness and concern, and the support you gave me growing up. We Love you Inang.
Hwong Khong and Hawaii: My 2 International Trips this year: the first one as a birthday present for me and lowlah, the next one as part of Prefplus. And I was granted 10years on my US VISA.. enough to save up for my next trip to New York! yay!
Fenoflex Grand Launch: Yup, was working on V-Day. But no worries, because everything was still all red (including me).. roll out the red carpet for 520 MDs who celebrated with us as we launched my baby into the medical community! Cheers!
Trip Around Pinas: Provincial launches for Fenoflex followed, which meant plane-hopping from one key city to the next.. phew! Tiring living on a suitcase, but I loved all the travel so bring it on! :)
New GM: Goodbye Sir Lyle, Welcome Sir Nomer. A lot of adjustments in the office with the new management, but we're all hoping for a good change with LRI.
PMG Resignations: The production numbers ain't the same without Badet, Gino and Steve. Best of Luck to you guys. See you around :)
Falling in, and out, of Love. Met, loved and was heartbroken three times this year. I never really wrote about them, but I remember spending many sleepless nights daydreaming and then crying afterwards. This prompted so many reunions just so I can get my share of compassion and sanity from the support group, which is why I'm truly thankful for the friends. One thing I was able to prove: the heart truly is a resilient muscle, for it now begins to hope and beat again for someone new.. hopefully, someone whom I can share 2009 with...
Nina Judan Jiao: I will miss my little angel. I know that somehow, Justice has been served. May you be in Peace now with Kuya Jess :)
iCOMPLI Launch: Finally, was able to launch my patient program after two years of concept, development and testing. Next year, go nationwide!
F@#k my Knee... Again!: Got another major one this year. Good thing I was able to put it back (weird but required skill my brother and I had to learn over time)
Health Scares: Had multiple lab tests done this year, one for my platelet problem, and another for that breast scan. I was cleared for both late this year, thank goodness. Health is Wealth talaga.
Won the UL Raffle: Count 'em and Weep (because I did cry when it all sank in): 100grand baby! One Word: Grabe. Ang galing! Ang saya! Thank you thank you Kuya Jess!
Reunions, reunions, reunions. To Eda, Drew, Marc, Ling, Banchettos, GSM, my Babies, New Orleans Girls, Lowlahs, KwaiLuhs, Haberdeis, AIESECers, Dazers, and all my friends who lent their time to listen and gave their shoulders to cry on, who flooded my inbox with the sweetest and thoughtful messages, and who have supported and cheered me on through all my joys and sorrows this year.. I raise my glass to you. A girl could not ask for a greater group of true friends. I Love you All.
Judanskis. Batas, Hustisya. Kwatog. You are my life, thank you for all the wisdom, guidance, support, prayers and love. Mahal ko Kayo.

There are many blessings to be thankful for, and many lessons to be learned from the past year. But like many years past, I AM EXCITED for the new year.. a chance to start anew--a clean slate, a new beginning. Let's see how many I can tick off for next year:

Health: Join a dance class / Hiphop Abs and drop down to 125lbs.
Wellness: Monthly Facials and Hot Oils, plus update new wardrobe.
Travel: an Asian Trip, and a New Philippine City Trip.
Arts: A Concert, A Play, A Book/CD Signing and a Sports Event.
Attitudes: Be more professional, come to meetings on time, and deliver all commitments. Curse Less. Drink Less.
Finances: Spend Less, Save More. Zero Debts. Open a passbook account: Deposit at least 1000 every month.
Career: More FOCUS. Do Homework and come to the office prepared. Develop more relationships with target MDs.
Self-Development: Enrol in MBA in Ateneo. Learn a new skill: Photoshop!
Friendships: Meet and catch up with all the chapters at least twice in a year.
Love: Introduce to the friends and the family. Keep in Touch. Enjoy each other and cultivate relationship :)
Family: Have QT for each member of the Family (Sta Clara with Mom, Billiards with Julius, Travel with Dad)
Spiritual: Continue my Morning Prayer Rituals. Share more blessings everyday.

Happy 2009 Everyone! Cheers!

Holiday Traditions

2008-12-26T16:28:00.003+08:00

Christmas has always been magical for me, and when December strikes, I'm as giddy as the next kid who opened her toy from Santa on Christmas Eve. I love everything about Christmas: the carols, the lights, the food, the cool December air, and the traditions most especially. I'm a big follower of traditions, and I was happy to have been able to keep most of them this year:

Simbang Gabi. I wasn't able to complete it, but I heard very meaningful masses with the people who mattered: My First Night alone at Greenhills Chapel (great way to reflect and welcome the Advent), Christ the King with Ling and Hangad Singers, Dawn Mass at Christ the King (again) with Family, and Gesu Church with Drew and Ateneo Chamber Singers.
Amusement Parks. Star City with Monna and Jeff after our Star Theater Musical Extravaganza with Hairspray. Perya galore! :)
Christmas Tree. Decors with Mom :)
Christmas Lights. Trimmings with Dad :)
Bibingka and Puto Bumbong. Wasnt able to taste puto bumbong yet, but i've had my share of hot bibingka. Yumyum!
COD. Finally got to watch the whole thing, after a month of driving by and parking at Greenhills. Theme for the year: Reuse, Reduce and Recycle!
Tiangge. Maxed out my bonus at Greenhills Tiangge.. got new PJs, new lacoste shirts, new crocs, new nike sports shirts, and more gifts for the fam! Happiness is Tiangge!
Christmas Carols. St Lukes and Medical City Residents regaled us with a round of Christmas Hymns. We Wish you a Merry Christmas!
Exchange Gifts and Kris Kringle. Something Red and Hot (Chinese Lip Balm), Something Green and Healthy (Del Monte Pineapple Tidbits). Something White and Light (Zonrox). Haha!
Reunions! Haberdei. KwaiLuh. Big 40 with AIESEC. New Orleans girls. BSP. LRI. Judanskis. Morales. All nighters na sunod sunod! But it's nice to reminisce and catch up and be thankful for these wonderful people who have made my life truly rich and inspired.
Misa de Gallo. Christmas Eve Mass at Christ the King :) Family Pictures beforehand!
Noche Buena. All our favorite food: Angel Hair Carbonara, KFC Bucket Meal (my recipe!), Red Ribbon Coffee Crunch Cake (again, my recipe! haha!), My-Caroni Salad, Novellino.
Opening the Gifts. Got a lot of purple stuff this year: purple bag, purple dress, purple hand bag. at least terno lahat! hehe :)
*New* Gift-giving to Street Kids. New tradition.. be Santa's Little Helper and share the blessings with the less fortunate. Nakakatuwa sila :) The happiness in the children's faces are truly priceless.
Makati Street Lights. Mom's neck craned back and forth, coupled with some ooh's and aah's at Makati Buildings' Christmas Extravaganza as we drove by Christmas Day. Classic!
Spring Cleaning. Nilagnat ako this year.. hindi sanay nang malinis ang kwarto! haha!
Metro Manila Film Fest. I think we're watching Tanging Ina this year. hehe :)
Fireworks at StaLucia. December 30th!
... and of course, my Christmas and New Year Blogs!

At this time of merrymaking and enjoyment, may we all still remember the reason for the season: the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

A Blessed Christmas to Everyone! :)

Rants and Shout-outs

2008-11-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

Mga bagay na gusto kong sabihin, pero di ko pa nagagawa... or hindi ko talagang magawa. I was always scared of confrontations. But if I had the guts, I would really tell people off:

1. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!!! Leave me alone!

2. Tigilan na natin ito. Wala namang patutunguhan eh. Ano ba talagang gusto mo?

3. Bakit mo ko ginugulo? Ok na ako eh. Ok na tayo. Talaga bang kailangan nating maging "friends"? Hindi ata ako ganun ka-"friendly".

4. Lulubog. Lilitaw. Lumubog ka na lang kaya nang tuluyan?

5. You want the best of both worlds. Ang saya mo naman. Gusto mo makisaya ako lagi sa yo?

6. For once in your life, be a man and mean what you say.

7. You don't think I can leave this all behind? Watch me.

There's a Fine Fine Line

2008-06-21T22:46:00.002+08:00

This song's on my LSS and playlist and driving CD... for now... :

THERE'S A FINE FINE LINE by KATE MONSTER
from Avenue Q

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Tired

2008-06-16T18:08:00.003+08:00

I am at a standstill. Because I choose to be here right now. When everything around me is moving about in a whirlwind pace, I choose to be at the middle of the tornado and just let everything go by in a blur. To feel nothing, to be immune of all pain and suffering and tears, for a change.

I am so tired. I am tired of straying away from the questions, because I only know the safe answers. I am tired of saying that I am ok, when there are days when I am not. I am tired of being strong, of staying optimistic despite the drama that is my life. I am tired of being the person who willingly solves others' crisis, despite my own tragedies. I am tired of asking why's, because I know that there are no answers. I am tired of cliches.. there is too much theory and assumptions and movie pick-up lines already I cannot process everything anymore. I am tired of being the one who remembers the details, the little things that remind me so painfully of the loss. I am tired of feeling guilty for all the wrong things happening lately, when I couldn't control them nor make things better like I used to. I am tired of complaining when I know I have no right, because other people are going through so much worse. I am tired of crying, of thinking that this is over.. when the next day proves to you that you can actually even sink lower.

Because right now, I just want to get away.. from it all. I am tired, and I am sick. The stress is apparently taking its toll on me, and I don't want to second guess what the doctors are not telling me. I am scared, because of the danger my life faces now that I cannot tell anyone, and that I must face alone.

I am lifting everything to Jess, to neverending prayers, to my own little angel up in heaven. Because no matter what, I still have hope. That tomorrow may finally be a better day, a new beginning. And I would no longer feel tired. And then I can smile again.

Of Love and Being in Love... Finally!

2008-04-18T12:53:00.004+08:00

Haven't updated my blog in a while... been keeping myself busy with multiply and work and well, more face-to-face interactions. Surprisingly, I even let my birthday slip past without writing about it. Hmmm, I guess I enjoy more in the story that photos portray. Or maybe I just needed to be in the mood to really write. Or I needed to have something interesting and inspiring enough to put me in the mood to write. Maybe both. Maybe all three.

But I do have some life-changing news to spare. What changed I guess, is my own attitude on blogging. For a while, I kept things to myself. I chose to indulge in this overwhelming miracle by myself, instead of the usual detailed report of all the roller coaster emotions I was feeling, minute by minute—letting the world know the ins and outs of my crazy mind and well, life in general. Which is apparently the trend my whole blogspot has adopted, now that I browse through the archives.

A lot has indeed happened over the years: change in careers, DAYS experiences, falling in love, getting heartbroken… and the cycle goes on. Even my perspective on life and people has changed in the few years that I have had the chance to write. Today, I choose to be more positive, hopeful, optimistic. More spiritual and forgiving. More goal-oriented and decisive about what I happen to in my life. More charitable and generous not just with my friends, but to strangers and people in general. More grateful for the multitudes of blessings Jess has showered on me.

Because there are truly a lot of blessings—2008 has been a good good year for me so far. I’ve fulfilled a lot of lifelong dreams in albeit a short period of time. I went to Hong Kong and rekindled my second childhood in Disneyland. I launched successfully a new brand to an audience of 500 doctors, all top medical professionals, my biggest career feat so far. I was able to renew my US VISA for 10 years. And... I met someone great. I fell in love.. for real this time :-)

This is my first "official" relationship (friends who know me from back then would totally understand! haha!) After all the miscommunications, what-ifs, hopeless frustrated longing... I finally met someone I have prayed for all my life.

I've always known that I would end up with a friend. I just didn't realize it was going to be this friend. Haha! Jess really works in mysterious ways. And the way things happened as well wasn't really expected, from both our ends, and yet I wouldn't have had it any other way. At times, I think about my life and think that maybe this is all too good to be true. That this is all a dream. I've been so used to being single and independent and forever searching, that sometimes it surprises me when I realize I'm already with someone and that someone I can truly share my life with. I'm still adjusting to the dependency part, as I've been so used to solving things on my own and solving other people's problems as well.. so it's a nice feeling when I can be all damsel-in-distress and let him worry about things for a change. At times when he tells me he loves me and I'm beautiful and all those sweet nothings (mushy moments that would really make other people cringe! haha!), I'm so tempted to ask him back: "talaga??" "sigurado ka??" Which of course I don't say out loud anymore. Baka bawiin eh. haha. Classic case of insecurity, of reality still sinking in. Can you blame me though? I've been told that a million times (yak, buhatan ng bangko!) but I just rolled my eyes in disbelief. For the first time, I want to believe that it's real. And that all these are truly meant for me, for us.

I think of us now and I realize that he is truly my male version, in so many ways. There is a sound reason, a greater power behind our paths being meant to cross. My friends and my family ask me, why him, after all this time? Besides all the qualities that make him so endearing to me, in truth, he is a good man, inside and out.. which is a rarity nowadays. What I'm most proud of, is that we're both spiritually grounded, as I've met him through DAYS community, and we both feel strongly about our work as staffers and our faith in Jess. And what made him stand out.. is that he was the only one who took me, who took us seriously. He was someone who envisioned a future, and was willing to make it work despite our crazy lives and busy schedules. And I love him more for that.

And yet, there are still many things that are different between us... and yet the differences help me learn new things and keep things more interesting for us. I now understand the beauty of believing in God's will and in God's time.. for if I didn't go through being single all of my life, of having unrequited feelings, of being made to hope only to be let down, of loving and losing... I would not be able to appreciate deeply the blessing of having him and this relationship in my life now.

Like what he always says... he cannot ask for anything more. And yet I do. I pray continuously for more happy days and years... that we may grow in love and faith and learn to become better people, better dazers, better Christians. I pray that He will guide us continuously as we begin this new life together, and God-willing, for the rest of our lives...

Basta ikaw Mochie, mahal na mahal kita :-)

Tina and Gladys' Adventures in San Pablo

2007-12-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

Tina and I went to San Pablo today to visit her friend's dad's wake in Laguna. We didn't exactly know the way going there but hey, we've always had these adventures anyway. Decided to bring the car na lang so we can catch up more and it would seem like a faster travel rather than taking a bus. So with phone calls and many kwentos abound, we were on our way.

We got lost... a lot! Took a "scenic" route to Batangas so we had about 4 hours of travel time... passing by ghost town of STAR toll, all the malls of Lipa, and then the neverending search for Max's (or "mac", as Paul would say it) to look for Paul's house. Thanks to Marty and Jayson for all the directions! Left at 5pm na though, so sinalubong na namin rush hour traffic... which meant another 4 hours back to manila! Sheesh! Kapoy mag-drive, pero all in the spirit of adventure. It was my first loooong drive anyway, so was glad to do it with Tins :-) Paul is hereby inducted though to our Bringer of Cheers circle. hehe. Till the next long drive... north nman tayo ha ;-)

On Andrew Gordon Mier

2007-11-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

This past year, i've been hanging out a lot with old friends from AIESEC ADMU.. it's been quite the tradition to watch tagalog films with them... even the big summer flicks this june were weekly dates with these people. Movies, videoke, inuman, gimik. I never realized that we could all maintain this bond even after our org days are over, but I'm happy nevertheless because I know them much better now, not just as colleagues but as dear friends. I'm grateful too that they've "adopted" me somewhat, as I came from UPD and they're all Genuine Blue Alumni (as Drew would put it. Haha!).. good thing ADMU has always been nice to me :-)

With changes in work and school though, we haven't had the luxury of hanging out as often as we used to. But we've had our YM chats and constant texts to keep each other updated, especially in the love department. There's even an ongoing bet, that whoever "finds true love" first gets to treat the others at the buffet of our choice. For a while, everyone was assuming that I'd be the first to introduce someone to the gang, but it looks like Drew will be beating me to the finish line: he'll be bringing the girl over this weekend to meet us. 'Be nice', he warned us. Haha... we'll see Drew ;)

Part of me is really happy for him. He's been looking for the perfect girl for so long, and after so many false starts, I think this is it. I hope that this is it. Then again, a teensy weensy part is also wistful because I know that things won't be the same between us. The two of us became close anyway because we were both single this past year and we didn't have significant others to keep us "busy". Now, I feel like we won't be able to talk and watch movies and hang out as often as we used to because of course, his first priority will be the girlfriend. I've sort of "lost" an old friend already before because of a relationship, and this seems to be the same thing all over again. Of course we'd still be friends... yada yada... but we both know how things will be from now on. Oh well, that's life I guess. It's just sad saying goodbye to things you got used to, but change is always part of life and that's one thing we have to always keep adjusting to. Anyway, Drew's used to me being all dramatic on him at wee hours of the night... so nothing really new. Except he's the one praning now about his new relationship, keeping me updated with his midnight rendezvous at 3am. Haha!

So sans the senti mode... I still raise my glass to Drew: may this girl finally make all your dreams come true... and may we all have a grand time at Spiral! Cheers!

On Holding Hands

2007-10-23T16:00:00.000+08:00

It seems like forever since I last blogged. Lately, I've been busy updating my albums only at multiply and at i.ph. But i've mostly blog hopped and let this site, well, survive on its own. I can't force myself to write din nman, just for the purpose of having a regular entry. When the mood strikes, that's when I feel the itch to write. Funny though that I've always had "outpouring of emotions" to write about when the love department ain't so sunny and bright. Like right now.

It's been over a month since it happened actually, but seeing him again today after all this time brings back so many memories... the good, bad and the ugly ones. Mostly I just want to remember the good times, lest i wallow again in self-pity and ask a million "what-ifs" that won't find its own answers anyway. The most vivid ones, at least, were the conversations that we've had... our dreams and aspirations, our childhood mistakes and playthings, the faith and the community that bonds us together, and the hope of true love. We've had silly and soul-searching talks like this, mostly away from the prying eyes and too conclusive minds of gossip mongers, because we're both uncomfortable being the subject of office tabloid talk anyway.

So lately, we’ve been polite and civil in the office... but much more comfortable in DAYS where we both staff and serve. He’s from a different community actually, but I’ve invited him to staff at ours and he’s been visiting ever since. Apparently, the grape vines are following us everywhere as Dazers have also been asking what’s going on with us. Especially since one of them has seen us holding hands. What I didn’t tell them… is that we’ve actually been holding hands for some time already, while he gave me the grand tour of Ateneo. And this was at 3am!

I’ve been racking my brains after that incident, trying to rewind and rewind that scene and that night and everything that happened in between. And though I know that it felt good to hold his hand and feel a little bit closer and more intimate with him, my guilty conscience caught up with me. Because we both know that he’s not exactly a free man. And while I’m trying to come up with a valid excuse to what happened, all I could come up with is: we just held hands. There’s nothing wrong with friends holding hands, right?

Only I’m not sure if we really are just that… just friends. I only held hands with two guy friends, and I know that it’s really platonic. We’re just comfortable that way, and I’m really close to those two so it’s not really a big issue. But I won’t say that I just go around holding hands with anybody, even girl friends. I’m touchy-feely, but I still reserve the “holding hands” stuff only for special people. In this case, it wasn’t me who initiated it…he took my hand many times that night even if I let it go because I was conscious of the other people looking. My mistake was, when it was just the two of us, I never let it go. Same way I never wanted to let go of that night, of that dream, of whatever it was that we had.

One of my guys friends from Days, whom I’ve had the chance to hold hands with… malice aside of course.. told me that it’s different with us, and with the new guy. He can sense daw that the new guy, my officemate, might have romantic intentions… but of course, with his situation right now, I don’t want to start getting involved that way. If he wants to pursue this with me, we have to clear both our commitments first so we don’t hurt anybody in the process.

I guess holding hands also has different meanings, different levels of intimacy. I don’t want to overanalyze this too much anymore, because in truth, it really is just a simple act—a symbol of the kind of relationship two people have with each other. Only problem is, our relationship is now on a gray area, because I don’t know how to define us anymore. All because it felt overwhelmingly perfect and magical that night… when we held hands.

Real Friends

2007-09-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

Through the years, it's been fun meeting new people, making new friends and catching up with old ones from all circles: from high school, college, orgs, office. It's been interesting proving time and again how small the world really is, because no matter where I go, I always meet someone I know. Even my fam and friends are keeping tabs already on how many people I'd get to greet in the malls, even in far-flung places... already assuming that I'd really see a familiar face. Officemates even ask about my "chapters", because even in out-of-town conventions, I'd always manage to meet up with friends from that locale, thanks to AIESEC, friendster, multiply, etc.

In retrospect, it's been great having many many friends and acquaintances. Coz I have big barkadas everywhere, different groups, different cliques. Parang social butterfly, kse I can adjust anywhere nman. There's even a brief feeling of fulfillment if I reach my self-imposed quota on number of contacts added in those friendster-esque sites. But then again, when it really matters, when I'm in the middle of some life-changing, earth-shaking moment and I need a friend to call or talk to... I feel so alone. Apparently, I don't have a steady group of friends I can really rely on when it matters, or when I really need a friend. A true friend who can understand what I'm going through. A listening ear and a crying shoulder.

In fairness, I do have real friends naman... but they're not really all from the same group: a couple from St. Paul, one from UP, a few from AIESEC and DAYS, a girl from LRI, etc. All in all, I can maybe fit them all in my mobile's speed dial. Then again, maybe that's all that counts: a handful of real people who can stick with you through thick and thin.. who can celebrate life's momentous occasions with you, and not just party with you when there's free booze... who can be truly concerned on your well-being and ask how you really are, not just for politeness' sake... who can tell you when you're wrong without being cruel or judgmental... who can listen to stories you've told on and on because they understand how important these are to you... who can be there for you at the drop of a hat when you need a hug or company or a drive home, no questions asked. I'm grateful to these people because even if our lives have changed, they're still there for me, time and time again, much as I have also tried my utmost to be there for them.

For you, my dear friends, you know who you are :-) May our friendship still stand the test of time. Thank you thank you thank you.

On Blogging and Nostalgia Trips

2007-08-29T15:29:00.001+08:00

In a certain personality test, there’s a question which somehow goes: if you are currently panic-stricken, tired and stressed out, your favorite therapy would be: (a) retail therapy, (b) food tripping, (c) a hot bubble bath (or a good massage), (d) night out with girl friends. Personally I would have answered all of the above, but recently I realize that I would have added another option to the list: (e) writing in a blog or journal.

I’ve kept so many journals since my elementary days, as requirement for class, but it’s only now that I’m able to maintain an online blog, just for the heck of it. It’s been three years running so far, and though there are writers’ blocks, I’m glad I’m still able to update it at least once a month. Of course, my obsession with multiply came and heightened even more, which lessened my updating of the blogspot for a while (I’ve migrated all my reviews and albums and general blog entries there already), and I’ve just started this spiritual/prayer blog, so it’s getting quite interesting to juggle all three altogether (minus friendster and all those similar friends-friends accounts! Phew!).

Sometimes though, especially in defining moments, I suddenly drop all things to fulfill the sudden urge to write all these feelings off not just for therapy’s sake but for posterity as well. Just like today, when I’m so overcome and overwhelmed to post multiple entries in all blogs! Haha!

It all started with a recently posted blog entry which reminded me of a similar entry I posted many years ago. Because I was trying to find which “era” in the archives I saved it too, the search for the missing entry became a full-blown trip down memory lane. I read and read many entries I’ve written over the years—my love-hate relationship with my career, crazy girl bondings, my growth in DAYS, and of course, the love entries which I think occupied about 80% of my archive space! I smiled as I read some of the good memories, and I winced at the forgettable ones. How fast time flies talaga! It’s nice and haunting at the same time to be nostalgic—to see how much you’ve realized and how many lessons you’ve learned and actually applied. How many mistakes you’ve now avoided. How much you’ve sacrificed. How much you’ve celebrated. How much you’ve Loved.

So to me, and all the bloggers out there… Cheers to more and more years of whining, rejoicing, learning, sharing, writing and blog-hopping!

Missing Sparks

2007-08-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

Met up with an old friend yesterday, after about two years of no contact with each other. And I couldn’t help myself being overcome with excitement and anxiety both for the “reunion date”, that I started calling up friends, planned my wardrobe and primped even days before. I knew that I was only setting myself up for disappointment with all these expectations I was starting to build for the date, but I’ve always been stubborn so my friends (and my inner logic) just let me be.

Monday came and went, and it was really a very nice reunion. He looked good, happy and worry-free, evidently because he just resigned from his work and is now looking forward to greener pastures. He was the perfect gentleman and we had the most animated conversations. He even brought me a small gift… a sign answered from a prayer I asked from Him before our meeting. He was even the first one to text me that he had a great time—a habit I usually initiated first with all my friends (and dates included).

Though I admit I had a wonderful time catching up and hanging out with him, the “afternoon delight” would have been perfect… save for one thing: sparks. It’s the one thing I’ve always hoped for, and never really received. He will always be a great friend, but even long-lasting friendship that looms in the horizon pales in comparison to the promise of something grander—yes, that thing that makes the world go round.

I guess I’m at a standstill because I tend to overanalyze things, which eventually complicates matters even worse. But the simple truth is this—I don’t think I will ever completely forget nor get over this affliction (or addiction) of him, even if clearly there’s nothing else he can give me but what we have right now. So, it comes down to two (2) options—Option 1: I take the high road and accept us being friends, nothing more nothing less. Which means I stop hoping for something that I know will never happen. And I can really be more at ease and more open with him, not the guarded nor conservative nor proper girl that i'm projecting to be (assuming that is his idea of the perfect girl). Or, Option 2: Stop being friends with him altogether. Because sometimes it really is hard to smile like everything’s ok. Out of sight, out of mind, out of heart.

I’m still deciding. But I think I’m leaning towards Option 1. Because I’d rather have him here, right now, and enjoy the friendship that we have, as it truly is a relationship that I treasure, than not have him in my life at all. For now, I just have to put up a brave front and smile and cheer him on in his dreams, as if nothing is wrong. For now, I’m glad to have good friends around me who gives me comforting hugs, sound advice, distracting stories, listening ears and shoulders to cry on. Thank you thank you thank you. I’m so blessed to have friends like you.

Like everything else, this too shall pass. And everything will be happy happy joy joy again. Till the next date then.

That's Life

2007-07-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Lately I've been really really tired. No matter how many hours I sleep it off or how many massages I get to try to rejuvenate, I still feel this inexplainable exhaustion. Good thing I'm hoarding off all the vitamins I can get from the office. Haha!

I've been feeling this way for about two months already. But with the workload and the events happening one on top of the other, the stress is finally taking its toll on me. This is not just merely feeling physically tired... i think I'm emotionally, spiritually fatigued as well.

It's not that I don't love my job. Well, it's a love-and-hate relationship on most days. Sometimes, I do think about "greener pastures", but I know deep inside that what I've got is something worth keeping already. It's just that sometimes, the work keeps piling up. The image you see on commercials, with employees drowning in mountains of paperwork, apparently that's so true in real life! I'm amazed at the speed at which papers and documents and tasks to do pile up, especially if we're gone from our cubes for two weeks because of conventions. And it takes me until midnight sometimes just to get to half of those papers! Aaaaaaargh!!!

The question that people ask (and seem to assume) is if we're compensated enough for this crazy, hectic life. I would've answered, ok lang. It's enough to pay the bills and something a little extra but I still need to work my ass more to get those incentives so I can really plan for my future. The benefits are better though, especially for those extending to my family, so I can't complain on that aspect. Plus, the people are really really nice... it's almost impossible to find co-workers and bosses who do trust in your ability, sincerely mentor and coach you, and treat you like a normal human being.

Bottom line though, am I happy? Is this the kind of life that I want? Because no matter what we say, whatever happens, the level of stress we tolerate is exactly the same level that we accept to tolerate. It's a conscious decision to be happy.

It's a question I've been asking myself each and every day. So far, I think I'll take it a few more months, even years, to finally answer that question. For now, I'll learn everything I could, and enjoy the company of my office friends as much as I can... one day at a time ;)

Paloozaheads!

2007-06-08T12:28:00.000+08:00

hahaha! laugh trip! buti na lang bored ang mga tao. thanks to tina for this paloozahead!

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

A Woman of Strength

2007-06-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

[grabbed from Anna's site: http://lavidadulce.multiply.com]

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape.

But a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything.

But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her.

But a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.

A strong woman walks sure footedly.

But a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face.

But a woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey.

But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

The road to becoming a better person, a better Catholic, a better woman and sister in Jess, is a continuing process, but with Days and with God's grace, I hope someday to truly live by and become a woman of strength... :)

On Choosing Well

2007-06-04T12:46:00.000+08:00

For my friends who are married, planning to get married, and for those still searching and making that choice.. ;-)

Eduardo Calasanz was a student at the Ateneo de Manila where he had Father Ferriols as a professior. Father Ferriols, at that time, was the Philosophy department head. Currently he still teaches Philosophy for graduating college students in Ateneo. Father Ferriols has been very popular for his mind-opening and enriching classes but is also notorious for the grades he gives. Still people took his classes for the learning and deep insight they take home with them every day (if only they could do something about the grades...)

Come grade-giving time, Father Ferriols had a long discussion with the registrar people because he wanted to give Calasanz an A+, which the student eventually received.

Read the article below to find out why.

“Partners and Marriage”
by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn’t want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each others. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual tolerance of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other’s presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each others’ foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.

How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other’s habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.
One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see the relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can’t accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn’t become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us everyday. To us, they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.

Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom… endlessly.

The UP Quiz

2007-06-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

[ ] worried about getting bullied by fratmen or getting killed in a riot
[ ] got bullied by fratmen or was killed in a riot
[/] witnessed a riot
[/] watched the Oblation Run - present for 4 years! hahaha!
[/] made friends with a teacher
[/] was tricked as a freshman into attending a rally/prayer meeting
[/] wore red or black on one of those wear red or wear black days
[ ] wore red on Valentine’s Day
[ ] wore black on Valentine's Day
[/] celebrated a birthday at Mang Jimmy's
[/] learned UP Naming Mahal (and forgot it immediately after)
[/] got on the dean's list as CS or US
[ ] slept on a bench
[ ] was an RA or SA
[/] lied or begged to an RA for a slot in class
[/] participated in a there's-only-one-more-slot-are you-feeling-lucky?
[/] jogged around the campus
[/] visited the Vargas Museum
[/] knew at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name
[/] attended university level graduation
[/] got an activist for a teacher
[ ] watched a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game
[ ] watched a UP vs. any school basketball game - cheering lang napanood ko :P
[/] studied in CASAA
[/] studied in McDonald's or Jollibee Philcoa for one full night and bought just one regular-sized drink
[/] studied along Katipunan cramming in Mcdo/Starbucks
[ ] studied along Katipunan and affected the mannerisms of a stereotypical Atenean
[/] watch a play that's not required for Comm III
[ ] went stargazing
[/] ate in Chocolate Kiss, Tea Room or Chateau Verde
[/] slept in the lib
[ ] struck up a conversation with a taong grasa
[ ] wrote to/for the collegian.
[/] seriously pondered about the identity/ies of the people described in Eksenang Peyups
[/] went to the chapel
[/] got a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers while walking in Sunken Garden
[/] cut class with your block to watch a movie - cut class for many other reasons also! haha!
[ ] had a voltes V for a teacher
[ ] took a class under Joseph Palis
[ ] lied to the transcript lady to get a transcript earlier than the standard 3 months
[ ] went to a Freshman-only concert where you had to show your form 5 to prove freshmanhood
[/] subsisted on just streetfood (ex. fishballs, half footlongs, kwekwek, squidballs/rolls, mais, dirty ice cream) for a day
[/] learned how to smoke - but quit after a few weeks
[/] went on an out-of-town trip with blockmates or orgmates - AIESEC conferences! :-)
[/] fell in love
[/] actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
[/] played cards during your free time - memories of Philo I class at MIS! Hulaan blues and pusoy dos!
[/] dress in business attire
[ ] sumabit sa jeep - bawal ang sabit sa jeep sa UP ah.
[ ] got sung to or sung to someone in class during Valentine's day
[/] watched the lantern parade -- BA'sTindahan ni Aling Nena :)
[/] helped out a total stranger
[ ] helped out a total stranger because he/she was hot
[/] learned to stay awake for more than 24 or 48 hours straight - BA 99.2, feasib, and almost all of my subjects on my last sem!
[ ] got bullied by fratmen and feeling cool wannabe people who were actually losers
[/] took Wednesday and/or Sat classes WILLINGLY - yep, still accounting class
[ ] volunteered for the pahinungod
[ ] ate "tasteless white sauce" pasta from cock-a-noodle-doo
[ ] got a boyfriend/girlfriend - hmmm... gray area :P
[/] took time to read the vandalism in the CR
[ ] watched a sexy art film for any GE class - Phone Sex starring Ara Mina. Winner tlga ang Pop Culture 101!
[/] got held up or pickpocketed - On the way home from UP, right after Sta.Clara visit. Scary!
[ ] felt depressed because you were not as good academically as you were in high school - Math 17 and BA 99.2 will forever be memorable. Sigh.
[/] did a last minute paper - gawain sa 3rd floor Computer Center
[/] had spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures - buti na lang may colored xerox ng ID sa SC
[/] got exempted from final exams
[ ] got exempted from a final exam but still took it
[/] attended a varsity pep rally
[ ] watched LIVE AIDS, Androgyny, Maskipaps or any well-known variety show
[/] promised to quit smoking - but went back after grad. trying to quit now. :)
[ ] got into at least one (org- or council-sponsored) adventure race -
[ ] knew where the best restrooms are on campus -
[/] joined an org - AIESEC and UPCE :-)
[/] allowed yourself to make mistakes
[ ] went to the gym in spite of having no PE class just to ogle varsity players
[/] took summer classes - all three summers! haha, nerdoks :P
[/] admired the oblation - semi-admired and took pictures with AIESEC trainees. hehe
[/] made a video for a project
[ ] had a crush on a teacher
[/] had a teacher who had a crush on/tried to court you - well, teacher na sha ngayon. hehehe
[ ] attended your ROTC Bivouac
[/] faked sickness to get an absence excused
[ ] got your car scratched by one of those "kuya bantayan ko kotse niyo" kids
[ ] took a PE class where you had to pay for tuition (i.e. sportsclimbing, ten pin bowling, etc)
[/] went to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes
[ ] learned how to use the Bayantel pay phones
[/] participated in school activities
[ ] caught the UP Pep Tryouts
[/] dated someone from UP
[/] rode an IKOT and TOKI
[/] found a tambayan
[ ] went drinking at Sarah's
[/] learned how to beg for a higher grade
[/] used your 6 allowable absences wisely
[ ] lived in a dorm
[/] volunteered to be beadle or go-to guy for your group/class - BA 105 field trip class
[/] had the worst schedule - 2nd year, 1st sem: 7am-7pm! Yikes!
[/] realized that there really is just one coconut tree on the sunken garden
[/] not used up all 6 allowable absences
[/] ate in ISSI, Treehouse, Mama Thai's and other more obscure cafeterias
[/] ate food Aristocart-style
[/] was active in your org - go AIESEC :-)
[/] attended an ACLE - how to open your third eye. never did open mine! hehe
[/] got as many app forms as you can during the job fair
[/] learned how to cram
[/] sold tickets for (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere - CE's Punch Drunk Love
[ ] saved money to Xerox all of your seatmate's notes
[/] had accidentally seen a make-out session - kakaiba tlga lagoon pag gabi! haha
[/] slept in class - STS :P
[/] finished a homework/assignment/paper in the shopping center or philcoa
[/] had mountains of unused sample exams and/or old testaments - STS and Natsci Sample Exams!
[/] resolved to be "better this semester"
[ ] slept during a test
[/] had groupmates from hell (ie no-shows, babblers, dependents, airheads, dreamers, idea stealers, plagiarists)
[/] learned how to work with groupmates from hell
[ ] perfected the art of parking on campus
[ ] had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
[/] developed a love for sisig
[/] practiced those UP cheers in the first meeting for PE class
[/] looked at microfilms in the library or poked through archives - for Research class and Kas I
[/] reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function - Genmeets every Wed
[/] attended UP Fair - at ngkarumble pa. ang saya saya!
[/] went to a library other than your own college's to research - Educ, UP Main, Law, CSSP
[/] lost a perfectly functioning umbrella
[/] used consultation hours properly
[ ] went to the Guidance Office for real, heart-to-heart guidance
[/] went to the infirmary - for freshie exam lang... first and last time
[ ] attend class with a hangover or tipsy
[ ] drink beer or alcohol while inside UP grounds
[/] walked all the way to Philcoa or Katipunan
[/] bought frogs from NSRI or a Bio department - for my brother :)
[/] maxed out on the 6 allowed unexcused absences but DID NOT drop - walang attendance e
[/] got invited or pursued by a sorority or fraternity - APO Soro, AEC. muntik na tlga...
[/] wore slippers to school
[ ] had a professor who smoked in class
[ ] got diagnosed by the Infirmary as pregnant or infected with STD

My Visual DNA

2007-05-04T21:03:00.001+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Those 3 Little Words

2007-04-25T15:19:00.000+08:00

Amidst all the chaos in the office and with impending deadlines catapulting me into stress modes for the gazillionth time... all it took were three words from him:

"I miss you"

Three Days in a row.

It won't be that L-word, i know for sure. But still, everything suddenly is sunny and in a happy place...

Hmmm-hmmmm-lalalalala... now where was I? :-)

Another Career Test

2007-04-24T00:02:00.001+08:00

In the advent of so-called "quarter life crisis"... I guess I'm in the right industry, just veered my career path a little off course ...

Gladys, among the characteristics of your profile, here are examples of your dominant traits:
Here is your main profile (from the perspective of the Holland typology).

IS (SI) (Investigative / Social)
Doctor, psychologist, speech therapist, teacher, instructor, head of clientele...

You enjoy human contact but not competition. You like areas where you can put your optimism and skill to serve others. For you, human behaviour is more interesting than theories, thus you do not waste time in huge discussions. You do well in areas where human relations play a role such as in medicine, research in social sciences, or even education.

Appropriate trades include:
- Medical and paramedical fields: generalist or specialist, pharmacist, psychologist, speech therapist, occupational therapist, etc.
- Education: teacher, professor (in social sciences,) instructor, etc.
- Research in human sciences: archaeologist, anthropologist, historian, sociologist, etc.
- Information/research-related fields: librarian, research assistant, bookseller
- Customer consulting: customer account representative, insurance consultant, sales engineer, etc.
- Customer support, customer services, etc.

A "Holy" Holy Week

2007-04-09T23:33:00.001+08:00

It's almost the end of my Holy Week break, and though the heart stil longs for that vacation trip out-of-town, I admit that this week had still been quite eventful for me, especially on the spiritual side. Palm Sunday was celebrated at St.Francis, as is customary every year, and surprisingly met up with Earlene and Carlo's families, both of whom also celebrate Palaspas at the Church.

Holy Tuesday was spent on a pilgrimage to Quiapo, my first time inside the Church in years. After fixing my civil service papers, Mom and I trekked that long street to the Church to pray the novena and go to confession. I have always been wary of priests after a quite scary confession rites I've been initiated to when I was younger, so I've always sought solace in DAYS confessions instead. But this year has been quite good, the priest I have (at the last minute) queued for was very loving and understanding, and I felt light and peaceful afterwards.

Holy Wednesday was conveniently first Wednesday of the month, so I begged Mom to wake up earlier for my usual Baclaran visit. En route via two LRTs, we made our way amidst the bustling crowd (my first morning visit to the Church) to offer candles of petition and pray the Novena to the Perpetual Help. Even though the rides to and fro was longer than the actual visit, I'm glad I was able to visit and again offer my thanks in Baclaran.

Holy Thursday was our family's annual Visita Iglesia. We made our way to our usual churches in QC, Pasig and San Juan (many of which have sentimental value to us) onwards to our last destinations in Manila. Met up with some yuppie dazers who also reflected on the Holy Week with their own activities. I'm happy and blessed to have continued this tradition with my family. Prayers truly bring us closer, as I've felt during this year's Visita.

Holy Friday was another family tradition--this time to Bulacan where we prepared the carroz and the Nazareno santo for the town procession. Being the eldest in our generation of cousins, I was told that eventually I would be in-charge of preserving the Nazareno's participation in the prusisyon, so I tried to learn everything I could already. Was great catching up with my lolo and tita, meeting up with my second cousins... lots of kids growing up so fast!... and with Milo who lived just a few minutes away from our ancestral house! Galing tlga. After Ling passed the "meet the angkan" test, we looked for an open Starbucks, which took us out to NLEX's Petron Station in the end. It was nice catching up with him, and he made me realize how much I missed our usual talks and DAYS most especially. Thanks to Ling for bringing me home safely, amidst the dogs and the jueteng boys! Haha!

Easter Sunday was at Christ the King. Though I was not able to wake up earlier for Salubong, I did learn a lot from the Mass.. that it's not just celebrating Christ's resurrection but also renewing your faith and renewing youself to become a better person and a better Christian.

I'm glad and grateful for this long extended vacation to be able to fix things, personal errands that I've put off for so long (like fixing my Civil Service Eligibility papers, reading books that have been gathering dust in my shelves, and reconnecting with family and friends). I admit that I've prayed and reflected the longest these past few days--I truly have a lot to be thankful for, not just for myself but for my loved ones. And I know that with the opportunity taken to strengthen my faith, I can now look forward to the next days and months with a renewed spirit and more hope for good things to come.

Myers-Briggs Test: I'm an ESFJ!

2007-03-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

Free Jung Word Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
personality tests by similarminds.com

ESFJ - The Helper

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Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow

ESFJs are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people's needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJs follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job done.

Living

ESFJ children want life to be uncomplicated, secure, harmonious and structured. They are usually responsible, reliable, and cooperative. They thrive in situations in which there is consistency and personal attention. They enjoy the acceptance of others and will work hard to gain that acceptance. ESFJ children are concerned about doing the right things and pleasing their elders.

ESFJs follow the rules and tend to accept them as fair and reasonable. They admire people and teachers who are warm, friendly, and concerned. They are concerned about the feelings of others and like to help out when possible. They begin early to assume responsibility for the welfare of others. They believe it is necessary to give as well as to receive and will often volunteer their time and talents in service organizations.

ESFJs radiate warmth and fellowship, and generally fit in well with their classmates. They value the traditional things that teenagers do and may be involved in various clubs and teams. Their friends often turn to them because of their listening ear and helpful nature.

Often the lives of ESFJs follow a traditional pattern. In adult life, ESFJs take their parent, spouse, employee, or community volunteer roles seriously and are committed to them. They are sensitive to the needs to those around them, sometimes more attuned to others' needs than their own. They gain the respect of others because of their helpfulness, pleasantness, and ability to get things done. They carry out their commitments and are often in charge of events. Mature ESFJs often structure both their work and personal lives so that they can meet the needs of others.

Learning and Working

ESFJs learn best in structured situations where they know what they can expect. They like to schedule their learning projects so that they can plan ahead to complete their lessons. They become uncomfortable with continuous interruptions and changes when they are trying to finish what they have started. Even more importantly, however, they want to like the person who teaches them. The teacher-student relationship is helpful to them in doing their best. When there is disharmony in the classroom, it interrupts their learning process. When their work is criticised, even constructively, ESFJs may feel demoralized until they get it right and the teacher acknowledges this. Because they tend to personalize the feedback of their teachers, it is important for them to know teachers' expectations so that they can work to meet them.

Learning tends to be a personal experience for ESFJs. This attitue, combined with their ability to follow through and meet deadlines, results in a conscientious and effective student. ESFJs often enjoy studies about people and their well-being, and are usually less interested in theoretical and abstract subject matters. They like active learning activities such as field trips, experiments and group projects that get them personally involved with others.

At work, ESFJs contribute their ability to cooperate with others and to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. They respect rules and authority, and handle daily operations efficiently. They tend to be well informed and up-to-date on organizational actions that matter to people. They do what they can to make sure that personal relationships are running smoothly. Because they pay close attention to people's needs and wants, they are often involved in work activities that meet people's practical, day-to-day desires.

ESFJs prefer occupations that allow them to provide direct and personal, yet practical, help to others. Occupations that call for organization and goal direction appeal to them. They are especially careful not to waste time or resources; to do so would go against their nature.

Some occupations are particularly appealing to ESFJs: childcare worker, dental assistant, elementary school teacher, home economist, nurse, office manager, radiological technologist, receptionist and secretary, religious educator, speech pathologist, and other occupations that allow them to help others and serve their values directly.

Loving

For the ESFJ, love means warmth and commitment. When ESFJs first fall in love, they show this warmth and concern for their partner in many tangible ways. They will send cards, notes, flowers, special gifts, and other mementos of their affection. If the partner casually mentions a desire for a specific thing, they will try to find just that thing. Once committed in a relationship, ESFJs tend to stay with it even when there is inconvenience to them and perhaps longer than may be healthy. They are able to bring out the best in their partners, even though it may mean putting their own needs second.

Because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. Being practical and realistic, they may not always like effusive shows of affection and prefer moderation instead. ESFJs may be more loyal to the relationship or to the institution of marriage than to the person. ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure.

ESFJs, when scorned, hurt all over and may need to take time to get over the relationship before pursuing a new one. They may too easily and incorrectly blame themselves for the unfavourable outcome and recall instances when perhaps they were not as giving as they might have been. However, ESFJs' standards for giving in a relationship are likely to be above those of some other types. At their worst when scorned, ESFJs can become spiteful and critical of the partner. Because ESFJs are keenly sensitive to others and are tuned in to emotional needs, they really know how to hurt a person in the rare instances when they choose to do so.

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Profile by David Keirsey

ESFJs, the most sociable of all types, are energized by interactions with people, tending to idealize whatever or whoever they admire. Harmony is a key to this type, which is represented in about 13 percent of the general population.

ESFJs are the great nurturers of established institutions such as the home, the school, the church, and civic groups. Wherever they go, they promote harmony and harmonious relationships. They are outstanding hosts or hostesses, able to call people by name, usually after one introduction. At a social gathering they can be observed attending to the needs of others, trying to insure that all are comfortable and involved.

Social ties matter to the ESFJs, and their conversations often drift to nostalgic recounting of past memories. Traditions are developed, supported, and carefully observed by the ESFJ.

ESFJs are hurt by indifference and need to be appreciated both for themselves and for the abundance, typically in the form of services, they give to others. They are conscious of appearances and take the opinions of others regarding social standards very seriously. Values in an ESFJ may take the form of shoulds and should nots and may be freely expressed. Conscientious and orderly, ESFJs may become restless when isolated from people.

Career

Career selection by ESFJs may lean toward service occupations. They have such outgoing personalities that they are outstanding at selling, being an invariable winner in sales contests. They are apt to have seniority in any sales group within an organization. Observation of ESFJs at work in a sales transaction will demonstrate how this type personalizes the sale: The customer is not buying the product; he or she is buying personally from the ESFJ. This same characteristic causes ESFJs to be good in teaching, preaching, supervision, administration, coaching, and, in general, people to people jobs. They seldom become a source of irritation to their superiors, for they respect and obey the rules and regulations, are duty-and service-oriented. They are loyal to their bosses. ESFJs are likely to be aware of and enjoy discussing events and problems in the lives of their colleagues; but when conversations turn to abstractions of philosophy or science, the ESFJ may become restive. Analysis of the complex-for example, an attempt to find an explanation of events through an analysis of principles-does not excite their interest, as it does the NTs'.

Home

ESFJ mates have a set of values which contain clear should and should-nots, and they expect their family to abide by these. They are conscientious about home responsibilities, are orderly about the home, and prefer that other occupants be the same. They enjoy socializing and entertaining. ESFJs want family decisions settled efficiently and quickly and want family living routinized, scheduled, and correctly executed. They do not rebel against routine operations, are devoted to the traditional values of home and hearth, respect their marriage vows, and are the most sympathetic of all types. They tend to be dependent on their mates and may marry to insure that they have a proper place in the social strata. They enjoy the rituals connected with serving of good food and beverages, thrive on festive occasions, respect and accumulate a goodly store of material possessions. They take their role in the community seriously and are sensitive to the acknowledged, official decision-makers and identify with them. They are aware of status, and often depend on higher authority as the source of opinions and attitudes.

ESFJs wear their hearts on their sleeves and are outgoing in their emotional reactions. They need to be needed, loved, and appreciated and may spend much energy reassuring themselves that this is the case.

ESFJs usually respect and revere their parents, and as children were responsive and obedient pupils. They seem able to express the right feeling for a given situation. They are soft hearted, sentimental, and usually observe with gusto and a flourish birthdays, anniversaries, and the like, making of the event a delightful, important occasion. At the same time, however, ESFJs can cause others undue tension by expressing anticipations of gloom and doom, exhibiting a bent toward the pessimistic that can be contagious. They need to control their fears that the worst is sure to happen and suppress their tendency toward crepe-hanging and anticipating disasters.

The children of an ESFJ are seen as an extension of the family, and all they do reflects on the ESFJ. If things do not go well, the ESFJ may be critical, even carping toward his or her mate and children. This type may marry alcoholics or others who are particularly needy. If a female ESFJ is married to a mate who is not a good provider, she can become nagging and brood over a comparison of her possessions and status with that of others. ESFJs, male or female, live in terms of people and things rather than in terms of ideas and principles. They enjoy the process of decision-making, particularly when focus is on the usefulness of things and people.

Midlife

At midlife ESFJs may want to get involved in activities that spark their imagination and creativity, for example, work with art media. They should find it useful to sort out priorities in their values and force themselves to give more attention to their own wishes and needs. They could begin to practice the art of being kind to oneself and each day attempt to do at least one self-indulgent deed. Travel should be something ESFJs particularly enjoy; at midlife they should allocate time to this activity. Also, the reading of "serious" technical books in a professional field might interest and expand the horizons of ESFJs at this time of life. Planning for retirement so that a sufficient number of interpersonal activities are available is vital for the ESFJ, who would very quickly become bored and restless if cut off from contact with a variety of people.

Mates

There is a mutual attraction of ESFJ and INTP. The ESFJ, wanting to serve as an anchorage for the INTP's flights to the higher levels of abstraction, finds in the ISTP an even more likely target for anchorage. The ISTP's flights are often literal, not figurative: He really does fly. Look in the cockpit of almost any aircraft and you'll find an ISTP. Of course, most ISTPs do not fly in the literal sense; but the hankering for adventure and exploration symbolized by flight is there, and it is this, the hankering, that draws the ESFJ like a moth to a flame. How does this serve the giving, caring, comforting nature of ESFJ? Why, when the adventurer returns, of course; the giver of comfort is there to provide rest and recreation.

What Ifs

2007-03-15T16:45:00.000+08:00

I had a surprise visit from an old ghost recently. At first I was hesitant to answer the rather vague SMS, lest I open again old wounds. But then again, past is past, and so are we, so no harm in engaging in a friendly chat. I was actually sincerely curious to know how he is and what he has been up to all this time.

Turns out he found a job at last. I'm truly proud and happy for him, that he's finding direction and something productive to do finally. It was one of the reasons why our ways parted before, and I'm grateful he at least told me about his new life. For a brief while we were back to our old selves, and I'm reminded of the reasons why he has the uncanny ability to make me smile amidst the stress of my everyday world. For those brief exchanges I'm left to wonder what our lives would have been had our decision been swayed otherwise. For that brief slip of sanity I almost willingly forgot what happened, and flooded my memories with all that was good between us instead. Come to think of it, I still remember vividly what I felt that D-day, but not how I felt anymore. And though the dreams and the hopes remain sweet, I know in my heart and in my mind that despite the occasional longing, he and I are truly in a better place.

Life is funny that way. It makes you think of other possible worlds, other lives you could have led. And you realize that what you have, right now, is not just the result of choices you made but also the fulfillment of a greater purpose. And if given the choice, you still would not have had it otherwise. I know I wouldn't ;-)

Just Like My Tyipcal Day

2007-03-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

.... excerpts from "Of Balance & Choices" by Rene M. Samaniego, M.D....

Two o'clock in the morning. Post midnight-snack stretch. Eyes intently fixed on your laptop screen.

For a moment, you pretend to pause for possible last-minute add-ons and alterations on the final Powerpoint page. It is, after all, a presentation for a very notable corporate client due the following day.

So you finally get ready to hit the sack for a surely challenging shuteye, maybe three hours if you're lucky enough not to have one of your stress-induced insomnia spells. You swiftly play out in your head how the previous day at work turned out, an exceptionally productive one no doubt. But you might as well have spent the whole day at home, at this time suffering a hangover from a B-movie marathon on cable, hastily waning into a subterranean funk.

Just a few hours back, you were euphoric with workplace adrenaline, and now as you lay yourself down to sleep, all that is imminent is the smell of melancholy and gloom, as though the sheets themselves herald the onset of a downcast stretch in your so-called life.

And despite the recognition that you are again about to up the benchmark with your carefully crafted production; despite the awareness of having a scaled and settled in an enviable position in the corporate ladder, you cannot help but feel uncertain about your own verve and chutzpah.

You then have an earnest glimpse of your life as it actually is. You come to a disconcerting conclusion that, in the face of having gone full steam ahead with your career, your personal life is in a downward spiral.

Inconspicuously, you admit that you belong to the career-oriented lot: those who are full of zip, conscientious and competent in their preferred domains, and yet immensely struggling as they edgily keep their equilibrium on a tightrope and prevent themselves from plummeting to the ground...

My Johari Window

2007-03-09T08:41:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I updated this, but I figured it's about time I posted this in my blog already, for posterity purposes.. Thanks to everyone who contributed! :-)

Gladys' Johari Window

Arena

(known to self and others)

dependable, friendly, helpful, organised, religious, sentimental

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, adaptable, caring, cheerful, clever, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, idealistic, independent, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, loving, mature, patient, reflective, responsive, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

Unknown

(known to nobody)

bold, brave, calm, complex, ingenious, introverted, logical, modest, nervous, observant, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, shy, silly

Dominant Traits

63% of people agree that gladys_judan is friendly

All Percentages

able (9%) accepting (4%) adaptable (27%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (27%) cheerful (22%) clever (4%) complex (0%) confident (9%) dependable (36%) dignified (4%) energetic (27%) extroverted (13%) friendly (63%) giving (13%) happy (13%) helpful (13%) idealistic (9%) independent (9%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (36%) introverted (0%) kind (9%) knowledgeable (18%) logical (0%) loving (31%) mature (9%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (18%) patient (18%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (4%) relaxed (0%) religious (22%) responsive (13%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (9%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (13%) sympathetic (13%) tense (4%) trustworthy (22%) warm (9%) wise (4%) witty (9%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 9.3.2007, using data from 22 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view gladys_judan's full data.

Feeling So-so.. So Far...

2007-03-06T09:18:00.000+08:00

Feeling ho-hum... Some random things I've been up to:

Stuck here on the office when I know that I could sneak off for a vacation, because good girl that I am I know that I should try to finish work before the bosses and everyone else come back from their trip. And I should really work my ass off so I can make it to the incentive trip next year... no matter how impossible and daunting the tasks seem...

Being on the recovery from my latest flu attack doesn't seem to brighten my spirits so much though.. although the last road trip to Tagaytay did seem to work wonders. I guess the emotional and mental stress finally took on a toll on me physically.. but as they say here in Unilab nga... "bawal magkasakit".. so off to the office I still go despite the cough&colds and the boiling temperature *sigh*

Besides, I have to work so I can earn more to save enough for my trip this October. Better get around to finishing that VISA application! Can't wait to see Nikki and Uncle Sam!

Been reading a lot of Our Daily Bread and Purpose-Driven Life lately.. I know it seems late, but it's only now that I have a real appreciation for the Word. Growing up I wasn't too keen on reading the Bible on a daily basis, even if ironically I'm always the lector in school and in our local parish. But now, it's something I look forward to everyday.. it keeps me in perspective and more hopeful and optimistic. I'm glad for this change. I hope I can make this more of a habit :-)

Still trying to book those one-peso flights to Bangkok with Anna. I hope we can really go.. I'd want to travel to an Asian country at least once every year... there goes my ten-year life plan :-P

Random BlogThings

2007-02-08T13:57:00.000+08:00

PERSONALITY and BIRTH

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Your Birthdate: January 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech.
In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek.
It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with.
Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots!

Your strength: Your unfailing logic

Your weakness: Loving machines more than people

Your power color: Tan

Your power symbol: Pi

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Birth Month is January

You are a natural leader who is able to stand up when no one else can.

Strong and powerful, you tend to overshadow those around you.

Your soul reflects: deep love, fascination with life, and a distinctive persona

Your gemstone: Garnet

Your flower: Snowdrop

Your colors: Black, dark red, and dark blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

Your Birthdate: January 25

Calm and understated, you struggle to express your love with words.
Over time, your partner learns to recognize your passion by the actions you take.
You're good at wooing someone slowly, without them even realizing it!

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2

You are most compatible with people born on the 7th, 16th, and 25th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

In 1983 (the year you were born)

Ronald Reagan is president of the US

Sally Ride becomes the first American woman to travel in space

Marines are killed when a TNT laden suicide terrorists blows up Marine headquarters at Beirut International Airport

US Marines and Rangers invade the island of Grenada and evacuate hundreds of US citizens

The Soviets shoot down Korean Airlines flight 007

The Internet Domain Name System was invented by Paul Mockapetris

Ronald Wilson Reagan signs a bill creating Martin Luther King Day

Baltimore Orioles win the World Series

Washington Redskins win Superbowl XVII

New York Islanders win the Stanley Cup

Return of the Jedi is the top grossing film

"Every Breath You Take" by The Police spends the most time at the top of US charts

The A-Team and Webster premiere

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are 3: The Achiever

You're confident and competent - with a lot of energy.

Eager to reach your goals, you are ambitious and competitive.

You are good at motivating yourself and motivating others.

You're also a charmer, with a great sense of humor.

What Number Are You?

INTELLIGENCES

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes.
You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time.
You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it.
Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.

You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

You Are a Auditory Learner

You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well.
You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music.
You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!

What's Your Learning Style?

You Are 60% Left Brained, 40% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

FOOD and DRINKS

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

You Are Beer!

You don't need to get totally wasted when you hit the bars.
More of a social drinker, you just like to have fun with your friends.
And as long as the beer keeps flowing, you're a happy camper.
But don't mix things up: "Beer Before Liquor, Never Been Sicker!"

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

You Are a Frappucino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern

At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent

You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet

Your caffeine addiction level: low
What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Are an Appletini

Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy.
But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

FOREIGN TRAVEL

You Belong in the Upper East Side

You're an aspiring blue blood, and you want the best of New York high society.
And while some may think you're conservative, you still appreciate good art and culture.

Where Should Your Inner New Yorker Live?

You Should Learn Chinese

Surprised? You shouldn't be - Chinese is perfect for an ambitious person like you.
You're a natural entrepreneur, and a billion people are waiting to do business with you!

What Language Should You Learn?

You Should Travel to Thailand

You may enjoy getting spiritual at a Buddhist retreat...
Or just feasting on a ton of cheap and amazing Thai food.

What Asian Country Should You Visit?

Your Italian Name Is...

Giulietta Conti

What's Your Italian Name?

You Belong in London

You belong in London, but you belong in many cities... Hong Kong, San Francisco, Sidney. You fit in almost anywhere.
And London is diverse and international enough to satisfy many of your tastes. From curry to Shakespeare, London (almost) has it all!

What European City Do You Belong In?

You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach

You're a free spirit who is always thinking of new ways to have fun.
And you don't just love summer... you live for it.
So, you really should blow off your responsibilities and head to the beach!

Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Love Number is 2

Of all the numbers, you are the most caring and empathetic lover.
Unselfish and humble, you find it easy to forgive your sweetie's mistakes.
At times, your need to please can be come a bit too needy.
As long as you remain somewhat independent, your relationships are perfectly balanced.

What Is Your Love Number?

CAREERS

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.
Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.

You would make an excellent:

Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director
City Manager - Judge - Lawyer
Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person
School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster

The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's Your Ideal Career?

MISCELLANEOUS TYPES

You Are The Emperor

You are an authority figure, and other people look to you for what to do.
You are strong and powerful. Crossing you is not a good idea.
You have worked hard to get to your position, and you're not about to give it up to anyone.
Though you have a warrior heart, you are gentle to those who treat you well.

Your fortune:

In the near future, you need to be willing and able to defend those you love.
This may be the time for you to step up and be the authority figure to those around you.
It is time for you to be independent, to become your own person.
You may need to look at your relationship with your father, or your relationships as a father.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are Temperance

Time. Ages. Transformation. Involuntary change

Temperance is another card of aspiration, but also of much change. It often
represents complex situations. Positively, you can harmonize contrary
forces.

Temperance is, on a surface level, about "tempering." The original pouring from cup to cup might have been about cutting wine with water. So this is a card about moderation. There is, however, another angle to the card, that of merging seemingly impossible opposites. Sagittarius, the centaur, merges beast and man into a unique creature. And then there is the bow and arrow, one moving, one stationary, working together to point the way. Temperance may be, at first glance, a warning for you to "temper" your behavior, to cut your wine with water. But it may also be a reminder to that seemingly irreconcilable opposites may not be irreconcilable at all. Belief that fiery red and watery blue cannot be merged may be the only thing standing in the way of blending the two. Change the belief, measure out each with care, and you can create otherworldly violet.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy

You're usually feeling the love for the world around you - you want to hug everyone.
And while you're usually content to sit back and view the world with wonder...
Sometimes you're world becomes very overwhelming and a little scary.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are Iris

You are an interesting blend of fun and wisdom.
You definitely make people think about themselves and their place in the world.
But they'll have fun doing it. You definitely epitomize laughter therapy.
You are a very enriching and entertaining friend!

What Color Purple Are You?

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away"

You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments.
And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

You Should Try Skydiving

Don't look before you leap
And you'll become a hardcore extreme sports addict

What Extreme Sport Should You Try?

You Are Best Described By...

Impression, Sunrise
By Claude Monet

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

You Should Drive a Porsche

Flashy and a bit of a show off, you can't help but love a car that shouts your high status.

What Sports Car Should You Drive?

My Birthday Rectorship

2007-01-29T13:23:00.000+08:00

When I was announced as rector last August 05 (at the exact 2-year mark of my anniversary at Days) I was shocked, confused and ecstatic. It was truly a dream come true and a very big honor, but after my ActCom stint I never really expected this blessing to be granted anymore. Kuya Jess really works in perfect timing--I realized I would be able to host it during my birthday weekend! I knew then that there's no other way I'd rather spend my birthday than serve Jess and my new babies..

I started early with preparations.. the next day pa lang ata I was on the phone already with Mommy Rach and drafting already my list of talkers, staffers, and prospective babies. Even though my mind was running with ideas for my batch, my focus then was Mel's Batch 17 and finding a venue for her. After gazillions of tiring oculars, we found a suitable venue finally. I had a great time serving her and my new pamangkins with Ava Toink. It was really tough to be VR, but with Ava and Mel and Mommy Rach and all the staffers, we were able to pull through.

December came and I realized that though Miyagi was able to get our old venue back, I still would not be able to host it there on my birthday weekend because of a campus ministry event. It sucked big time because all of my dreams and plans were centered on it. And then came another big blow--St. Scho c/o Cheboy was also hosting their batch on the last weekend of January! Can i survive without Lola Isa, Tita Jedi, Cheboy, and the Kulasa dazers? That's about a quarter of days staffers who won't be able to go full-time for my batch! When it finally sank in that I didn't have both a venue and a date, I went on hiatus from the community. I felt so tired trying to fix everything, making sure that everything's perfect but it seems like the whole universe is conspiring against me! I wanted to give up the batch already. I was so emotionally frustrated.

Only thing is, I was never a quitter. It was so tough, but good thing Mommy Rach was always there para kulitin ako on the things I have yet to do. Plus Cheboy suddenly pressured me to invite talkers already because she just finished hers! Adrenaline rush ito! I guess it was also the start of a new year that I realized I had a clean slate, a newer perspective to work with, so with a line-up of 23 participants, I started to catch up with the workload.

I prayed and weighed all the odds and decided that without a venue, I still wanted to celebrate my birthday with a DAYS weekend, so Jan 26-28 was firmed up (besides, I would lose my sponsors, staffers and participants if i moved it on another date anyway!). Thanks to Bong, I found a venue and realized for the first time that I can visibly see things working out. A week before the actual batch however, I was down to 15 participants and the list keeps on trimming down! Plus I found out that we might have no materials because our supplier had no more stocks! I was so devastated! Grabe ang sindakan na inabot ko kay Kuya Jess during the last week, but I held on and prayed and hoped for the best. Thursday night, I had 10 participants which is actually a good number. I was psyching myself that it was a good number, that maybe Jess really wanted me to handle this number and this particular group of girls for a reason. I had Sweet, Romnick, Happy and Pugo, and that was an all-star line-up already. I took a deep breath. Ikaw na Bahala, Kuya Jess. I was good to go.

Sure, every batch has their own stories and unexpected crisis (we can laugh about it now but at that time I was so stressed trying to find replacements!). My participants were Uber pasaway and were not sharing as much as I hoped they would. Even if not everything went according to plan and there were moments that were probably overrated, I realize now that the whole experience went perfectly according to His will. And there's not a moment that I would change.

But there were good surprises as well, some in the form of birthday gifts--streamers from Ditas, banner-ups and thank you cards from Moch, pink roses from Milo, choco mousse cake from Jun, my batch song from Miyagi--and some in the form of surprise visitors. All the aiesecers were there (balik-loob!), even Javi and Drew. Old friends from Yuppies came to lecture and support (hehe).. even old Dazers like Erwin, Tita Jedi, Mara and Van. There were several texts from well-wishers, even from other communities like PSBA and DLSU. Ang dami ring food--thanks to everyone who donated and sponsored! Thanks to my family who shouldered my birthday blow-out as well. Thank you to Father Bogey for that heartfelt Celebration. Thanks to my SFX, ang purple-musical at ang kikay ng lahat! haha! Thanks to Yuppies for a heartfelt P-night, complete with white balloons and flute and violins (just like I imagined it!). Thank you to Marla and Sabs for working so hard and for being patient with my kakulitan.. you girls are my saving grace. Thank you to the sponsors for my magical circle of 10 babies, and to the staffers for all your help and for serving so selflessly during the weekend. I owe so many people my gratitude for an amazing weekend--If not for current rectors like Cheboy, Miyagi and Mike, my CORE mentors Rach, Chewey, Macky and Milo, all the staffers and sponsors and my family who became my source of inspiration and sanity during those last months, I would have certainly crumbled under the stress and pressure!

But I'm most thankful for my babies--they were the best birthday gifts that Jess has blessed me with. I always thought that being rector was a dream come true because everyone would be celebrating and praying for you, with the whole weekend planned according to your every whimsical desire. But in truth, being a rector is an overwhelmingly humbling experience--to be Jess' instrument, to be Him personified for three days so you may bring people closer to Him, to be able to fulfill your life's mission of concretely touching and changing other people's lives, is both a challenging responsibility and a truly unique gift. I was so touched with how my babies and I shared our last disco (albeit short) and how we all kept in contact during our 4th day. Though we all started as strangers, I'm amazed by how much love I have for them, like I've known them since childhood. Being a mommy means that I now share in each and every joy and pain that they have, as long as they let me.. and I welcome all of that. Now, I know in my heart that the rectorship is something I will truly treasure forever--not just the weekend (for that's only the highlight of the experience!), but also the whole preparation months before and the 4th days that lie ahead. The sacrifices, the stress, the joys and the blessings in totality is a gift I wouldn't trade for anything. Weeks after I can still experience the High, because of these participants and staffers and everything that we've learned from the weekend and from each other. I'm looking forward to our Baclaran/Starbucks/Yuppie reunions together!

Basta Kayo mga Anak, Basta Kayong mga Dazers... a thousand times over. Basta Ikaw Lord! :-)

My Perfect Guy

2007-01-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

Was thinking randomly about this a few hours ago, and while I resolved myself to be boy-less this year, I think it may be safe to daydream about the idea of a perfect someone right? So if i would be able to meet a guy with..

... Mike's brains ...
... Milo's sweetness ...
... Drew's friendliness and listening ear ...
... Paul's charm and sense of humor ...
... Marc's values and discipline ...
... Karlo's fashion sense and ambition ...
... Jason's loyalty ...
... Javi's spirituality ...
... Jeff's wisdom ...
... Jerome's love for kids ...
... RC's wacky sense of humor ...
... Chris's patience ...
... John's impeccable manners ...
... Miyagi's voice and love for music ...
... Allan's simplicity ...
... Raeden's family-orientedness ...
... and ER's, um, "special talents" ...

...I'd marry him in a heartbeat!

But if he stays as a figment of my imagination, I'm still lucky to have friends who have shared me all these with me :-)

A Look at 06 and Resolutions for 07

2006-12-31T11:14:00.000+08:00

2006 was my year.. the Year of the Dog. It was an eventful year...my life changed dramatically this year... both good and bad things, extreme polar opposites:

I resigned from Naturale, and got a new job I loved at Unilab. Never thought I could start over. It was so difficult giving up something that has become a part of me for almost two years. My babies Felina and Beach Hut have changed hands, but I was glad to have been given the opportunity to start them. Now I have Aspilets, and I'm blessed to be learning a lot and to be able to help around the house through UL's amazingly comprehensive benefits. Plus, I get a new phone, laptop and car!
That Month in Bohol. We're still not over it yet though.
Got my Drivers' License. Finally! Long overdue, but definitely worth the wait. Need to practice soon!
Was diagnosed with UTI. Two weeks' diet of no salt.. all fish! Giving up all the food I loved was tough, but at least I lost 10 lbs! True test of discipline and will power, and Mom's iron hand! hehe.
Got Announced as WWJD Girls' Batch 18 Rector - during my 2nd year anniversary in Days, and hosting it on my birthday no less! Jess is really good, I never thought I'd be granted this blessing. And though preparations are seemingly impossible and difficult, I promise to give my all for this batch. Can't wait for my January weekend! I pray I'll have a meaningful batch, for my participants and for myself as well...
Met my Dream Guy. Who happens to be in a relationship, but at least I know he exists! Had an interesting courtship and fling as well... quite colorful year!
Traveled to Davao and Iloilo. My second homes. I'll always miss the people and the sights and the food. Can't wait to go back soon!
Got New Movie Dates. Drew, Care, Oryx and Rory. You guys made my year. Thanks for the crazy movie bonding, and everything in between.
Check-in at Edsa Shang and Crowne Plaza. I've always loved the Hotel Life. Buffets, Long Soaks at the Tub, White Terry Robes, Massages, Breakfast Room Service, Late Night Bar Parties. Looking forward to Hyatt adventures in January!
Happy Reunions with Friends. Finally, I get to enjoy my Christmas reunions without Batas! Feels so good to bond without panicking over sunduan time... Hehe!

Here's a look at how many of my NY's Resolutions I was able to keep this year (dug this up from my Archives Last Year):

Things I Want to Happen for 2006:
1. Get a Drivers' License!!! - one of my biggest achievements for the year. It took enrollment in A1 and hours of lining up to get the paperwork done, but all these paid off. I look weird in my picture but what the hell... all I have to do now is pray for my car to arrive soon!
2. Learn Ilocano and Spanish – Enrolled myself in Basic Spanish 1Q06, but still need practice. Got myself a new Ilocano dictionary to help. I’m planning to get a notebook too to jot down notes from Dad.
3. Learn to play guitar – Still have to learn. Got a guitar chordbook and 1001 songs from Julius though as a Christmas present.
4. Learn how to cook – Can now whip up tinola, nilaga and sinigang, but sill need practice. 5. Develop a new sport (still deciding between Chess and Swimming) – Will prioritize in 2008 instead. It’s aerobics this year!
6. Travel to an Asian Country (Bangkok or HK... depends on the fare and rates! Sayang ang miles...) – no money! Will try to save up by 2H of the year. Hopefully I’ll be enrolled in Prefplus so I can travel to the States this year.
7. Learn Photoshop – haven’t learned much! :(
8. Watch a concert, game and play – Jason Mraz, WWE and Zsa zsa Zaturnnah.. all within the first few months!
9. Keep all doctor appointments with Dr. Sese – almost done. Will continue treatments this year
10. Invest money wisely (probably in time deposit) – still struggling financially :-(
11. Get a new cellphone! – Decided to invest on silver necklace instead

On a more personal note, I resolve to: All of these I’m still trying to do…
1. Never say anything bad about others (or at least minimize them...)
2. Fulfill all promises (that includes being on time!)
3. Pray and reflect more.
4. Procrastinate less.
5. Personal makeover! Fix self, room, workspace more...

7 out of 11. Not bad, but still need a lot of improvement.
Let's see how many I can pull off again for next year...

Projects for 2007: As forecasts told, if you worked hard in 2006, 2007 will be your year of harvest. This year therefore will be all about ME—all the plans that I had for myself I’ll finally do this year. That goes hand-in-hand with focus.. no boys, lessen dating for the meantime, so I can finally achieve all I want for myself for the meantime...

Improve Self – new hairstyle, new treatments, new/healthier body regimen
Lose Weight. Drop to 120 lbs.
Enroll in Aerobics / Hi-Step Classes
Keep (at least) 50K in bank account by year-end (to win bet with Eda!)
Learn Ilocano
Learn to play guitar
Travel outside the country (US or Asia)
No credit debts by year-end. Limit card usage to appliances/emergencies only.
Get UP diploma and Fix Civil Service Papers.
Invest on appliance for the house - new component system or oven.
Complete the Simbang Gabi. For the first time ever.

Minor Goals: Some fetishes I'd love to indulge in...
1. Watch a play, game, and concert
2. Attend a book and CD signing
3. Get my Ferreti Card :) 4. Get the 07 Starbucks Planner.

Easier said than done right? Well, we'll see... ;)

Happy New Year to Everyone! :-)

My Christmas of Firsts

2006-12-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

It seems like a lifetime since I last posted in here. I'll confess--my attention has wavered more to multiply and have been addicted ever since. (See more recent pictures and gimiks I have been of late: http://gladysjudan.multiply.com). But I know that blogspot will always be the home of my most intimate and even weirdest thoughts, ramblings, experiences.. and everything in between.

It's been quite the holidays--welcome surprises and heart-breaking dissapointments all in one. It was a season of firsts--

First time I fully enjoyed all my reunions with friends, because I wasn't preoccupied with meeting Batas for curfew... too bad our Noche Buena was cut short because Mom wasn't feeling too well.
First National Conference and Party with LRI and UL, my new family... had that great two nights with Iloilo friend... I smile wistfully now, knowing that those nights will remain but bittersweet memories. At least I have our pictures to daydream by, all I have left of us.
First time I resisted the urge to Drink and Be Merry.. First time I'm seriously considering quitting alcohol and yosi altogether. Naks, inspired kse... ;-)
First time I brought home Christmas basket, First Christmas bonus! The best part of it was sharing all these blessings with my family; it feels great to be able to help out--taking them shopping, treating them to fancy dinners, getting them their perfect gifts. And good thing, at least I have something for my days' batch already in January.
First heartbreak. He still misses me, he says. I told him I missed him too. But I'm not going back there, that's for sure. I guess things are better off this way. New Start for the year eh?

The best First for me was feeling the true spirit of the Yuletide during Mass. I've always loved hearing Mass at Christ the King.. the people, the choir, the entire church community always brings that sincerity and generosity of prayer. And I felt really closer to Jess during the Christmas Eve Mass. It's just like what the priest said--the true spirit of Christmas resides in our willingness to spread peace and reconciliation not just with the people we love but more with the people we have wronged as well. And I realized that Christmas cannot be found in gifts we have requested nor received, nor the parties and reunions--but in how we welcome and give happiness to others. The Spirit starts within us. And how much we love Christmas should not just end with the taking down of the lights and the tree and all the trimmings, but its love should be carried all year round.

The Christmas Spirit starts and continues within us. Have a Blessed Yuletide to Everyone! :-)

It Hurts To Be Smart

2006-12-04T01:24:00.000+08:00

Failure has always been my nemesis. But with accepting failure comes the wisdom of not repeating the same mistake twice, of getting up and striving to pick up the pieces, of moving on...

'Tis the hard lesson I learned. I deluded myself thinking that I could change things, that I could change him. I accepted the situation knowing fully well what was expected and what can only be given, nothing more nothing less. But I was a bigger fool to hope that I could be the girl who can change his ways. I should have listened to my instincts and opened my eyes more to the signs that were right in front of me. I couldn't wait for him forever, the truth gnawing in the pit of my stomach that this was all he ever wanted. And that I was just another willing pawn in his game..

I should have ended it way before, to save me from the hurt and to save him from the hassle. It's the right thing to do.. I know, I know. But now that I have, part of me wants it all back. Wants all of him back. Because at this moment, i don't want to be smart. It hurts to be smart. It sucks to be smart. I just want him. He's moved on though, and I'm still left dreaming for both of us. Maybe I'll just keep on dreaming till Christmas, or till I don't have as much emo moments, thinking of the what-ifs and the what-might-have beens like this anymore..

The Truth about the Love Blog

2006-11-08T01:43:00.000+08:00

Online friend JP commented on how my blog entries seem to be all about love lately. haha! Thanks for the wake up call dear. Actually it just depends on my mood, which is quite obvious of late. But truth is, it also depends on what time I blog. At night, when I'm more carefree to daydream on cloud nine and the only free time I get to spend with him, that's when I can write as well. Hence, the topics of choice. But during the day, I'm more preoccupied with increasing market shares, the impending year-end quota count, fast-tracking clinical studies to detail aids and reading up on medical journals. I love the pharma industry and all its stress (said with feelings and a little less sarcasm! haha!)

On a lighter note, I just passed my driving exam at motor pool today--86 is not bad, considering the sentra had a bad clutch! That means all I have to do is wait and pray for my car issuance! Yay! I'm really hoping it will be my Christmas gift, I'd love to drive in it for simbang gabi, which I vow to complete for the first time this year. :-)

Pitch not going well though, overbudget and agencies are very demanding! This is something I really want done soon and fast, before the barrage of December conventions (will be cooped up in Crowne Plaza two weeks that month! 7corners galore na ito!)

Since I'm in work mode already, better finish up new forecasts for presentation tomorrow.. and daydream the next day instead. haha!

Things I Love... Lately...

2006-11-08T00:53:00.000+08:00

I love being called Hon... being someone's Honey.
I love waking up to good mornings and sleeping to good nights and sweet dreams.
I love being taken cared of when I was sick.
I love breakfasts in bed.
I love late nights, endless talks about our lives with red chippys and super drys.
I love stargazing, on the beach, with our full moon, my head on your shoulders.
I love our pamangkins and going to EK and childrens' parties and being kids again.
I love every minute spent with all our sweet nothings
I love being adored. I loved being your Gorgeous.
I love blushing about your hugs and your kisses.
I love Loving and Being Loved.
I loved our little fantasy Hon, even if it were just for a week..
I loved wishing it can all still come true...

PCP in Iloilo City!

2006-10-21T15:06:00.000+08:00

God heard my prayers when He granted my wish of finally setting foot in Iloilo. Like Davao, there's something comforting, warm and homey in Iloilo... maybe it's literally the humid weather, or the neverending seafood (scallops my favorite!), the barrage of SM malls (three all-in-all!), or maybe it's simply the company of the PSRs and MDs that I have gotten to know better during my week-long stay there. Special Kudos to Paul and our "stimulating conversations"-slash-adventures in Puerto Real, Mark and his endless clinical studies, and Jen who was unfortunately always airport bound during the convention.

Surprise, surprise... didn't know I could host either! I'm now officially LRI's Kris Aquino, unwilling game show host. Even if Sir Mieto and I ran through the program and the techincal requirements before the show, sometimes the most dreaded and unexpected things really happen. And while I rambled on with the audience for twenty minutes (which seems like forever!), Sir Mieto and I decided to make do instead of the situation. Lesson Learned: have a duplicate copy of any technical game, make sure to bring the technician with you, and bring with you a lot of showbiz tidbits to fill in awkward silences! Thank God I watch Game KNB perpetually. Got raves from Sir Lyle, Miss Pam and Sir Mieto for unexpected Talent Show and presence of mind! Yay! :-)

Sarabia Hotel was my sanctuary, but the Lobby became my homebase. After a few days, the guards, bell boys and the receptionist knew me on a first-name basis! I never knew it was that challenging to organize transportation every morning, lunch and dinner.. but tired I was every day. It was the first time though that I sincerely enjoyed the company of these MDs, maybe because this batch was truly game for anything. Hindi mahirap alagaan. Thanks to Dr. Mong and Dr. Miranda who were my constant companions.. and who gave me great insights in between our Lights and Pale Pilsens! Haha! Thanks also to Dr. Louie Tan who gave great recommendations to Sir Lyle about my performance. :-)

Truth is, I fell in love with Iloilo because I fell in love in Iloilo. Even though I know that things are not meant to be, there's comfort in the realization that such a man exists.. my ideal man is not some figment of imagination after all. I would even want to get married in Miag-ao.. there's something poignant about that old historical church and its yellow brick walls. Well, we'll see. He's coming to visit this December anyway.. that's a Merry Christmas to me!

So thanks Iloilo.. I have yet to come back and try your Batchoy (which I was not able to do because of an upset stomach!) and have more butterscotches and biscochos. And yes, if only to see another traffic-inducing motorcade of Sharon Cuneta! Haha!

[For more pictures: http://gladysjudan.multiply.com]

Thoughts on ShotDate

2006-10-11T21:01:00.000+08:00

Like everything else in my life, I hate being unprepared. It's as if I didn't give my all, and I don't like the feeling that I left one tiny detail not carefully planned nor thought of. What can I say, I'm neurotic that way :P Which is why even for shotdate, I made sure that all our plans were straightened out--where to have dinner first, what to wear, where to have my hair and nails done, etc etc... without looking as if I tried too hard (okay, maybe that didn't work! subtlety is not my field of expertise...haha)

Going to shotdate was terrifying, because I rarely go out on real dates. But I decided to go because 1) drew was my friend 2) i wanted to experience it. one more thing to cross off my things-to-do-before-i-die list. With no expectations and with little practice (yes, we did some rounds of pseudo questions!) we trudged on and went inside Grilla.

I was praning about being overdressed, but what-the-hell, basta I loved my curls and my LBD :-) The guys were ok, but no one really caught my eye... (ok, so maybe there was one. But I'll take that secret to the grave! harhar!) So I checked them all as friends. Seriously, I'd love to be friends with some of them--they seem so much fun to hang out with. But no sparks unfortunately. Even with Javi, who unfortunately did not go to my station (I wonder why.. nagtatago ata! hahaha)

Got an award though: "The Girl Guys Would Like to Be Just Friends With". Ouch. But it was ok in the end. In retrospect, that's really who I am, just a friend. I'm the friend guys turn to for advice about their girlfriends, or a spontaneous movie date, or just someone to pass the time with. I think I'm just a better friend than girlfriend material. Which means that it may take me longer to find that "one perfect guy", no matter if I wear a new dress or try to be more feminine or to be exactly what guys are looking for (which is actually impossible). All I can really be is myself. So, I'll just try to be the best version of that.

As this certain article goes, "That's why we always tell people looking for love to wait for that "I won the lottery" feeling -- wait, wait, wait! Don't read articles about how to trap, seduce or hypnotize a mate. Don't worry about your lipstick or your height, because it is not going to matter. Just live your life well, take care of yourself, and don't mope too much. Love will find you." Amen.

Will I recommend friends to go on a speed date? Yes, if merely for the experience. Because if they may not discover that perfect match in a moment, more importantly, they may discover something surprising about their own selves as well.

Amnesia

2006-09-18T00:16:00.000+08:00

I thought I was okay. I thought it was over.
Out of sight, out of mind right? Wrong.

Why is it that little reminders of old ghosts you thought were gone forever just keep on haunting you? Why is it still painful? Why do I still feel empty?

I may move on, but I don't think I will ever completely heal.

I want a clean slate.
I want closure.
I want freedom.
I want to forget...

I'll Be a Mommy

2006-09-01T12:41:00.000+08:00

This has been the most incredible week.

August is my 2nd year anniversary with WWJD, and with this momentous occasion comes another one: I'm about to become a "mommy" as well in January (at my birthday no less!). No words can ever prepare you fully for that moment when you find out--amidst the sincere happiness from the people around, I could only feel the overpowering solemnity of the Disco, and remember the almost emotional phone call with my own mommy rach a few hours past (and after). There was no visible omen, no sign. Ok, maybe Milo hinted a few times, but I was honest-to-goodness overwhelmed. Until now. I am so deeply thankful for the support of friends in and outside the community--souls whom I have connected with only through weekends past. God knows up ahead is not an easy path, but I will trudge on willingly... to give all I can for Mel's batch, for Mike's and Rod's, for the others that will come soon, and for my own most especially.

I think that the weekend has inspired more blessings to come my way, especially at work where I have begun to receive due recognition for hard work and sleepless nights, and where surprise gifts have started pouring in. Even love has knocked at my door a few times this week as well. I think what I cherished most was also catching up with old friends and finding out where their own lives have taken them--Rach from the States, Ana from Indonesia and Liv from Paris.

I praise and thank God for all of the wonderful blessings, for me and my loved ones. Even though times are hard, I believe that all of us would have our own chances for happiness, even if it's just for a week, maybe even just for a weekend...if our hearts remain pure and patient, and if we truly have faith...

Homecoming: SSP @ Davao 2006

2006-08-24T14:09:00.000+08:00

Went back to my second home last week: Davao City. It was first time to travel alone, and I reveled in the solitude both in the airport and in my hotel room. It was then I realized that amidst the friendsters and multiply connections, and my aspirations to become a "connector" (thanks to tipping point!), I really am an introvert at heart. I guess growing up, I already find small talk exhausting and actually desire for more adult company and more meaningful conversations.

Not that I didn't find the company of old ADDU friends equally fun! I didn't get drunk though, for the first time (haha!) It was really great meeting up with Nate, Dave, JC and Carla, even for just a while. I wish I had more time to spend with them, even my shopping at Aldevinco was rushed! Oh well, there's always next year right? :-)

Work-wise, I learned a lot from the convention. Amazingly, I was able to sit through a whole day's symposium and appreciate every word! I even texted Drew and told him I had a brief inkling to pursue the medical profession! Looking back, I realize that I enjoy the academic aspect of it, learning about new studies and pursuing new molecules to find cures for emerging syndromes. But I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility of having someone's life in your hands--I'm not that brave yet... For now, I'm content to be in the surrounding industry, and to "entertain" them as much as I can. Where's my next dance card, Dr Morales? Hehe :-)

Last Palamandesals at Karl's, Davao Airport

Strat Plan @ Edsa Shang

2006-08-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

I finished everything! Yumyum!

When I was younger, one of my fervent wishes was to stay at Edsa Shang overnight, order room service, indulge in a jacuzzi and sleep in their gigantic white terry robes. I can't explain why, but there's a certain charm to Edsa Shang that makes me feel right at home there. Several years later (after many other hotel travels), I got my wish... and did all of the above when LRI stayed in at Edsa Shang for the annual Strat Plan. I had the best breakfast ever at 12mn (don't ask the price!), right after soaking in a bubble bath and massage... everything was just divine! It was the most poignant treat I could give myself for earning my first paycheck! I guess there really is a right timing to everything... just trust God to give you your heart's desires at His own time, even if it's merely a wish as shallow as enjoying the pampering of a hotel like Edsa Shang :-)

The conference was a tiring three-day stint, and my mind was overloaded with stats and forecasts that each night I retired to bed was a welcome treat. Since my roomie Daye opted to go home instead each night, I had the whole place to myself. But I had "intruders" every so often--my girl friends who would barge in for surprise slumber parties, random chikas and many many photo-ops! We had the most fun when we won the videoke challenge during Fellowship Night, and I'm most grateful for the experience to bond with them... which is actually next Monday at SSP Davao! Oh well, this is the life I chose--one that lives in a suitcase often. At least I have girls to share travel anecdotes with. And don't forget the dancing shoes!

Don't Cha!

2006-07-31T22:45:00.000+08:00

View from Tuktukish

Almost didn't make it to the concert...like most days these past few weeks, it was raining cats and dogs, and I had to rush to Araneta amidst Friday rush-hour traffic in EDSA! I'm not a huge fan, but I do love their songs (Buttons is sooo hot! I swear... I converted Eds to a PCD fan after that video!) so I was pretty excited to see them in person. It was a long wait though (good thing Eds and I decided to eat first at Pancake house... or else I wouldn't have been able to ogle Jayson! haha) and after three excruciating front acts, popcorn mania and sudden urges to buy hundred-peso binoculars, our tired butts can finally stand up and shout with the PCDs :-)

I love Nicole! She's the best singer, the best dancer..the group seemed more like Nicole and the Pussycat Dolls. She still has the Filipino accent ("Mga mahal kong kababayan!" hehe), but most memorable was when she choked up after the whole coliseum sang Stick Wit U. It was really touching :-) Kudos to the dance showdown as well, I'm glad that kid with the monkey moves won--he gets an A for effort! The only downside was when the whole crowd was still waiting for a second encore because of the DJ's announcement 'Do you want to see more of the Pussy Cat Dolls!', and realizing after several blank minutes that they really weren't performing another number. Still, it was great to see everyone dressed up to see the PCDs, that even for just a few hours we felt like hot, sexy PCDs as well!

Me Sign Books Pretty One Day

2006-07-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

David Sedaris and "my Melvin"

Went to my first book signing yesterday! I'm so starstruck with David, even I'm probably his most recent fan. Unfortunately I only came in around 6ish (thanks to Unilab's compressed workweek sched!) so I got number 57 instead. Lots of cute guys who attended though, surprisingly, but I had to check if they were really cute guys-- my Maximo Radar was ringing off the hook all night!

David was mean and sarcastic as usual... my kinda guy! He even called Makati Cinema Square, "a mall with cancer"! haha! He read the Easter Bunny Chapter in Me Talk Pretty (good thing that was the book I read, I can relate!) before proceeding to sign from his hordes of fans. Good thing the line was not too crazy like Neil Gaiman's so I was able to wait a good two hours before my turn.. not too bad right?

Funny story: while waiting for my turn in line, I could hear the guy in front of me (#56) telling David his name was Melvin, and David saying incredulously "Your name is Melvin?!?! What kind of name is that?!?!" I smiled to keep myself from laughing. True enough, when it was my turn to identify myself, he had the same reaction: "Your name is Gladys?!?! Now that's a name I don't hear much everyday." And then his eyes popped out, and I could almost see the light buulb flash above his head: "You know, that guy ahead of you, he's a doctor and you're in pharma, and I think you'd be perfect for each other. Besides, your names are both weird." I wanted to stalk Melvin right after the event! I think I giggled and laughed the whole time while he asked whether I lived in a village, and I recommended that he see UP and the Ikot Jeepneys and the Fishballs. It was laugh trip all the way :-)

When I opened my book to see what he wrote, I can't help but laugh out loud:

"To Gladys,

I have a good feeling about you and Melvin.

David Sedaris"

Nice one David. I now have a celebrity matchmaker! Hahaha!

Ang Haba ng Hair Ko

2006-07-24T09:52:00.000+08:00

This is by far the best and the sweetest compliment (and pick-up line!) I received in my entire life--from a DAYS participant whom I met only twice:

"I saw Jesus in you, because when I woke up to your serenade, I heard the voice of an angel."

Months after, in a long distance email to our common friend:

"Please say Hi to the girl (yep, he forgot my name! haha!) who sang You and I magnificently..."

Can I just melt now? :-)

Dr. Love Kuno

2006-07-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Ironic Story: one minute I'm dispensing love advice to seven grown men, whose questions range from the absurd ("Bakit ang paa ng babae hindi nadudumihan? Bakit ang paa ng lalaki laging maallikabok?") to the obvious ("Bakit ang tagal niyong mga babae mag-banyo? Saka bakit lagi kayong sama-sama pag nagpupunta dun? Ano bang meron sa loob ng ladies' room?"). Most of the answers would have seemed common sensical, so even without valid personal experience on the "love" angle I was stereotyped as an expert on the matter.

Barely several minutes later, I found myself face-to-face with an old ghost I haven't seen in what seems like years. I was ecstatic of course, but as the minutes passed we were trapped in this big awkward silence. We ran out of small talk, and even worse, he made a pass at my friend--in my face! Kamusta nman un???

There were some moments when I saw him glimpse in my direction. Or he'd say to his friends, 'Gladys lives in Pasig, right?' and we'd share a smile because I know we both remembered when he used to fetch me from the office and bring me home. The teasing from his barkada was still there: 'Gladys, punta ka nman dito sabi ni --'; 'Pumayat ka daw ah sabi ni --... seksi na sha!' Some things never change--there's never really a dull moment when I'm with them. :-)

We had wonderful memories, and in those silent moments I remembered them all fondly and wished with all my heart that I could bring things back the way they used to be. I think, more than the petty jealousy, what frustrates me more are those little things that makes me still hope we have a chance to make this work the second time around--little details that I get from his friends, not from him. The fact that he himself remains so cold and aloof, and maybe ilang, still holds that maybe he's really not just that into me (yup, Greg's voice rings constantly in my ears!). All along, talagang pinaasa lang niya ako. (yuck, ang drama...ewww... haha!)

And I had all that figured out after crying my eyes out to Milo and Benson, and after a fitful night's sleep. How come we can give advice so easily to others, yet remain so clueless and helpless when we become the subject matter? Oh well, so much for being the love expert no?

3pm Random Rant Break

2006-07-19T15:30:00.001+08:00

Having major migraine.

I love IMS--it's the perfect brain torture. I think my brain's going to explode soon from too much info overload. Pages and pages of data, tables, numbers, percentages now looks 3D to me, any second now a mystery figure's just going to pop up.

How do you do forecasting and trending again? I'm getting rusty.... *scratch head, heave sigh*. Can I order a new brain--one that can bend spoons?

Time for my hourly ration of free Nescafe. Yup, I'm now officially caffeine-dependent.

...TheresultsoftheClopidogrelforHighAtherothrombotiRiskandStabilizationManagementandAvoidance(CHARISMA)studyshowedthattheuseofacetylsalicylicacidinmonotherapyismoreeffectiveinprovidingprimary preventionagainstdeath,myocardialinfarctionandcardiovasculardiseases,andthatthedualcombinationtherapyof clopidogrelplusaspirinforsecondarypreventionwasnotsignificantlymoreeffectivethanaspirinalone... (repeat chant one thousand times)

Aww shucks! Who stole my PLDT phone? *scratch head harder*

What's APSA, KOL, ASA, MAT, YTD, PAI, CAGR, PSR, (fill blank with gazillion more acronyms)?

Omg, it's 3 o'clock na pla. Do they still serve lunch/PM merienda/early dinner? *search bag for week-old Sky Flakes*

This is the life. I'm glad I went back to Corporate... *shed a tear, shed a tear*

:-)

Good Omen, Bad Omen

2006-07-17T08:25:00.000+08:00

Time to bring out the champagne glasses: I survived my first week at LRI! The people are really nice and warm, and I'm enjoying my first two weeks as adviced by my brand colleagues who told me that after that leeway, I'll be going home with them at around 9pm as well! Haha!

It was a long difficult road to get here. In retrospect, I endured 5 grueling interviews, a tense two-week wait to know if I got in, and a very rigorous (yet slimming!) medical exam. My first day in the office was even met with a heavy downpour! But I'm glad for all these--it makes me appreciate the promise of a fulfilling and challenging career life ahead that Unilab has to offer.

I was never a fan of horror movies, but I'm grateful to Drew for bringing me that fateful day at Galleria to watch the Omen. It turned out indeed to be a good omen, for it was at that moment that I received THE CALL telling me that I was accepted into Unilab. I prayed really hard for God to guide the new direction my career was going to take, wherever that may be. And I thank the higher powers for granting me such a blessing, that even if I was not able to change paths as I originally planned to, maybe this is a sign that I'm indeed destined for the healthcare industry. :-)

Now as I await my trainings and orientations, I currently busy myself visualizing how to decorate my new cubicle and memorizing everyone else's names.. hehe! Cheers!

Money Pakyaw

2006-07-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

Round 12 KD

Congrats to Manny Pacquiao for winning the match over Oscar Larios!

I never had so much fun watching a male-dominated sport. It seemed that time stood still during the match--no cars nor tricylces could be heard in the highways as everyone paused from their busy lives to take part in this momentous event. It was fiesta time also at home--coousins came over so we can all tune in to the TV together. And Manny, being the clever businessman he also is (I never knew he owned his own promotions company till now!) exploited this opportunity by promoting all his endorsements and extending the bout till the last round. Sure, we do celebrate and toast to the People's Champion, but one can only take so much of the multitude of commercials all viewers were subjected to during the fight day and the succeeding week as well.

As of present, Manny's camp reported that he's already starting training for his upcoming match with Morales, a stronger opponent no less. We can only hope that he can give his first major concert a second thought to concentrate on his training more, lest he lose to Morales, retire early and become a full-time showbiz entertainer instead.

Superman Returns

2006-07-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

How I Wish I Could Be Lois Lane

Watched Superman Returns with friends Drew, Care and Oryx last Friday at Eastwood. It was a date we all set with each other a few months back, but I guess we were not prepared enough... Oryx and I got to Eastwood, through cartwheels and back flips, at 730ish, but all the cinemas were full until the LFS at 1110! Good thing Ina was holding her despedida at Bedroom Bar so we kinda chilled a few hours with the UPD people while we waited for the other two to arrive. Since we still had time to kill, Drew "forced" us to spend an hour of Videoke where we did some crazy back-up dance moves (yes, they were all AIESEC dance potentials) and where Drew and I went head-to-head for a tiebreaker: BSB vs the Spice Girls :P Challenging, I know...

Crazy Commentaries went on throughout the film--Care and I held hands during drool-worthy moments, Oryx hugged me during my pseudo-cry episode, and we all looked at Drew from time to time to see how he was seriously contemplating his "alter ego" (Read: "If he is the man of steel, how did he and Lois... get it on?"... mahaba-habang inuman to!) We got home around 2am already (good thing my Dad was out-of-town this weekend!).

Brandon Routh is just so perfect! One thing that endeared me to this film was how Superman was created into a perfect balance of handsome hero (whose hair never gets screwed!) and earthly being--a raw and emotional human. The twist at the end was a welcome surprise as well.. So cheers to you Drew, I'm now forever YOUR fan! Haha :-D

I definitely had a great time with them--my "anaks" who have been my confidantes and stamm buddies these past few months. I think sometimes that my life would have moved on after my term had ended in AIESEC, but these friends have slowly re-integrated me into this crazy, stressful life that I once led and still love. I never did hang out with my "batchmates" this much before--we all got together only if there was an event, or because we had work, or after our terms ended.. I wonder why. No doubt though: I'm glad to still have AIESEC friends in my life, even more grateful to have these AIESEC friends with whom I can watch movie marathons with and yet still learn so much from...

Till Pirates of the Carribbean! :-)

Happy Birthday Desiree Joycie!

2006-06-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

Qt_ Judz!

It was a triple celebration today--Joyce's Birthday, House Blessing for their newly renovated place, and Father's Day. In Judan Definition, triple celebrations meant triple buffet feast! And we did stuff ourselves that day with so much food I could hardly stand: from Tita's home cooking to exotic Kapampampangan dishes at Cabalen.

I love their new place... newly airconditioned, new wall treatments, new furnitures. The coziness made me weep with envy. There was so much to repair and replace at home, but that would entail more time and budget which unfortunately we don't have enough of. Made me wish I had my own place already... it would be such a relief to start redecorating from scratch, and everything in order to my liking.

Many thanks to my cousins, ever so kulit, for the guitar lessons, jamming session, chisms galore, and fun bonding, as always. I wish Joyce all the happiness and success the world has to offer, and may all her birthday wishes come true as well (except the one where she wishes she could still be taller... poor short me! haha!)

Return to Las Brisas: DEVCON 2006!

2006-05-31T18:58:00.000+08:00

yup, i think we're already kinda drunk! haha!

After an unexpected invitation from now MCP Tabbee, I finally decided to go back to Las Brisas in Antipolo to be the chair for Devcon 2006, May 26-29th. I did not know what to expect--after all I vowed to myself never again to return to this godforsaken place for all sorts of reasons: surprise salamander hunts, creek memories, and certain fights that ensued with people that still haunt me to this day.

But as they say: once an AIESECer, always an AIESECer. And it was truly an honor for me to be invited to be the "kagalang-galang na upuan" (to quote Care). The delegation was younger and less bolder, as expected, but we did bond during the socials in Antipolo and "Ortigas Extension" so I was fortunate to get to know most of them. Funny thing, Javi and Drew came by to show support, and they were introduced as "Legends of AIESEC"... hmmm, they were in my generation also right? What does that make me--ancestor? Harhar :-P Legislation was short but organized, exactly as I wanted it to be, and the sessions were both fun and relevant. OC was very maalaga--cheers to Bossing Erman, beloved ADMU LCP; Kevin, our Bb. Devcon titleholder; Gio, our all-around guy; Carms, with her perpetual smile; and of course, Martin, with his quotable quotes and non-stop hirits.

Thanks to everyone who made this experience truly memorable for me: from the MC, OC and of course the delegates. Thanks to the alumni also who stopped by: Javi, Drew, Jayjay (whom I missed a lot! See you in HK dude!). It was my first conference to be drunk in all socials and yet perky during the plenary... my first not to be mandated as well! Much thanks and love for restoring my faith and passion not only to Las Brisas but to AIESEC as well. You made me believe and hope that no matter what storm may come our way, AIESEC's vision and values will live through, because of its people and of course the oldie alumni as well.

See you all at Devcon Reunion! :-)
Cheers! Naunsa man Tu!

Munoz Reunion

2006-05-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

Went back to our ancestral house in Munoz today for a surprise visit to Inang and to visit our tenant relatives in Talugtog . It was both a tearful and welcome return--Lola Inang looked different, much older now, and the big house seemed too quiet without the kids running around.

Our tenants were very happy to see us also; it's been too long since we've last saw them. They themselves had their own land problems, mostly family politics which we helped to resolve somewhat. Parang fiesta bigla-- everyone from the bukid went to the house for a grand dinner: litson, papaitan, pakbet, kaldereta, and of course, our favorite tinumis!

The time was too short, but we left Munoz with our promise to return soon to finalize the programs we planned to implement. I think I'm being groomed to be the successor--who knows, when I get older maybe I can live in Munoz instead. I hope everything will certainly sort itself out, in it's own time, and with Lolo's blessing as well.

Purpose-Driven Life

2006-05-24T18:24:00.000+08:00

Been reading the Purpose-Driven Book lately... it's been sitting in my bookshelf for so long, gathering dust. I thought it would be a timely read--having a lot of time in my hands made me think hard about what I really wanted to do in my life...

So far so good, I'm being "religious" about keeping my commitment to the book. I'm onto my 12th day. I'm learning a lot about worship and trust, and I realize that I have been growing spiritually with each day. I pray a lot more, I take the Mass and my daily rosary more seriously too. And I realize that I do treasure more the blessings I receive each day, especially with my job hunt. I learn to nurture relationships that I used to take for granted. There's more good things that I see in people that I'm able to appreciate as well.

I'm an optimistic person, but recently it seems that I just came out of a retreat. Everyone's nice, everything's good. I begin to notice an aura about people I meet with that seems to radiate about them. That makes me smile. Because even if there's so much challenges and issues and problems in the world, I know that there's hope..if only we have Faith.

Many thanks and much love to Him, to Jess, who has directed me to this opportunity to discover that I can be a better version of myself. And for guiding me towards my purpose, one that I'm slowly beginning to understand and truly pursue.

Da Vinci Code, the Film

2006-05-22T18:30:00.000+08:00

Watched the much-anticipated Da Vinci Code tonight with Mom and Dad (who haven't been in a moviehouse for years!) The cinema was jampacked, even with teenagers trying to beat the R18restriction. The dialogue was engaging, the actors convincing and the storyline was faithful to the Dan Brown bestseller (except for the part where there was supposed to be two cryptex. I would have loved to see how they would attack the dualism mentioned in the novel). Historical and biblical anecdotes were artistically presented as well.

In the end, as Tom Hanks said, "What matters most is what you believe in." The film satisfied my curiosity, and it was indeed one of the best film adaptations from a book. But it did not for a bit shake my faith, as others would have feared. I still believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Trinity. I take pride in being a praticing Catholic, and I know that I have a personal relationship with Jess. For me, in the end, these are what still truly matters.

Subtext!

2006-05-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Eda and me stuffing ourselves full at Napoli's before the Subtext...

Eds and I went to Subtext play at Koine along Kamuining along with Kuya Mags. The theater itself was small, expected from an average theater company. It was a very intimate show with only about 30 audience members, but they added personal touches like free coffee during intermissions and dance numbers from the kid scholars that they support.

Subtext itself was short, with each act only lasting about 20 minutes... my favorite was act 2 with the two teenagers because it was the scene I could identify most with (up till now!); act 1 was weird; act 3 was very idealistic and dreamy.

Coffee galore later at Starbucks Morato (what's new) to rant about our still nonexistent love life and to analyze each other out, as is our neverending pasttime. I guess in a way, I share in Eds' momentum that night--I wished I could meet someone perfect, but then again, I wish I can revel and treasure first the relationships I have now with friends and family. I may be lonely, but I'm not alone.. as there are a lot of theater buddies who share similar passions with me as well.

Till the next curtain fall! :-)

Jesus Take the Wheel

2006-05-15T01:48:00.000+08:00

Jesus Take The Wheel

Take it from my hands

Coz I can't do this on my own
I'm Letting Go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus Take the Wheel

--Carrie Underwood

I Love this Weather!

2006-05-14T03:10:00.000+08:00

Seems like centuries ago when the air has last been this cold. Always loved this weather--cool, a little drizzle of rain here and there, but enough to snuggle up with someone (or in my case, my trusty comforter)

Overslept today, but woke up toasty warm. Had breakfast of scrambled eggs and danggit fresh from cebu (yumyum!) Only downside of the day was the lack of cableTV (Sky's still fixing it apparently), but still went on to procession around village despite heavy rain. Ate nacho salad and buttered popcorn after dinner... must be getting my period soon, I'm always hungry these days! Haha!

It's supposedly good news that the storm Caloy is leaving the country, especially since my dad is flying home tomorrow from CDO. But I can't let go of this weather yet... I don't want to wait until December for a cooler change in climate. I need an excuse to wear my psychedelic finger socks again :P

I'm Back!

2006-05-06T02:35:00.000+08:00

WOW.

Can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. A lot has happened definitely, some not worth writing anymore because I would rather just forget them. But here's a short recap:

PERSONAL: Steady Lang. Been learning how to cook. Know how to whip up sinigang, tinola, adobo and nilagang baka already. Next Project: kare-kare.

CAREER: Job-hunting is so tiring! But keeping my prospects open. Skipped interview yday because of flu; prepping up for interview tomorrow (gotta wear the skirt!)

LOVELIFE: Excited over new prospect! Going to blind date on Saturday with law student. Going ga-ga over what to wear... haven't gone out in ages!!!

Of course, there's still AIESEC.... very tiring and emotionally draining. Forcing myself to face responsibility. But definitely tired and getting more depressed about it everyday. Trying to distract myself with new hobbies. Hope this all ends soon.

Thinking of getting a new blogskin. Just as soon as I find the "perfect one". Till the next! :-)

Oh yeah. Happy Anniv to my Folks! :-)

Joining the JobHunt Bandwagon at JobFair06

2006-05-03T03:51:00.000+08:00

Tabbee and Me pausing for this picture before we slave away as staff for CEF 2006 (Ingress is really one of a kind!). Gave out lots of resumes, got two interviews, and met Mark Yambot again. All in all, a good turnout :-)

Labor Day @ Eight Waves

2006-05-01T03:58:00.000+08:00

Besides Black Saturday, Labor Day has got to be unofficial Swimming Day. And because it falls on a long weekend, a lot of Filipinos naturally packed their overnight bags and went straight to their favorite resorts and beaches... us included. For this year, it was Eight Waves for us.

Located in San Miguel, Bulacan, the resort is around 2 hours from Manila. We arrived around midday only to find out that all tables and cottages were full! No wonder, everyone in Manila seemed to be in this pool (see picture above!). Julius and I braved the waves (and the crowd) and went straight to the 6ft line. It turned out to be one of the most challenging swims of my life--I was treading like crazy and gasping for breath! Their wave machine is really tough to beat, I ended up with terrible bruises in my legs, but definitely had a lot of fun! :-)

Lea Judan

2006-04-21T03:25:00.000+08:00

Me and cousin Lea, who's 7 years old but does not talk much (good thing a Happy Meal helped!). I hope she can still remember me 10 years from now when she comes back to the Philippines...

Holy Week Prayers and Picnics

2006-04-16T03:09:00.000+08:00

Last Stop: San Sebastian Church, Manila

After 2 years, we finally went to a Visita Iglesia again on Holy Thursday to continue family tradition. Interestingly enough, friends Eda's and Raeden's families also went on their own Visitas at the almost the same chruches--we just missed each other by few minutes!

A lot of Filipinos really observe the traditions of Stations of the Cross; it's both humbling and heartwarming to see many people go to confession, reflect and remember to pray. Because most have already gone to the provinces, Manila seems like a ghost town.

But lo and behold, on Good Friday, it seemed that everyone flocked back to the parks (since malls were closed!) to find some sort of enjoyment. We visited riverbanks, QC circle and finally to Baywalk, all of which were so jampacked with families and dates you'd never realize it was still the Lenten Season.

As they say, Filipinos are the happiest breed of people anywhere, anytime in the world...even during Holy Week.

A Broken Vow

2006-03-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

After several months of not having any news about him, I broke my promise to myself by starting a conversation, again. A random joke turned into a whole day's worth of talk--from my upcoming trip to Bohol, to his Binggo raffle project, to "kandungans" and plane rides, to our travels and our longing to see Pagudpod (for cheaper rates!), to Eheads, to our jamming sessions, to guitar and piano lessons, to his bands, to our work and lives in general...

I won't deny that even the silliest talks with him always bring a certain smile and tug to my heart. I've really missed him so, and for a few hours, he really has made me happy. But when talks came to how we'd see each other, i mean, really see each other, our conversations waned to awkward small talk. It's a depressing cycle, and one that I wanted to end long ago, if only I had the discipline to stay away and keep my promise...

For anything else, I've already found what I'm looking for in him. But there's no commitment--what do I do with mere MUs? I'm tired. I'm tired of flings. I'm tired of dating aimlessly. I want to start something serious with someone who will treat me seriously. And unless he really makes the grand gesture of finally going to Manila to see me, and not just saying he wishes to see me all the time, that's the only way I'll take him seriously as well... Until then, I'm just his "girl from Manila", and he's "my guy from.. somewhere out there..."

The only problem is, I'm already tired of waiting for him to take me, to take us, seriously. How long do I have to wait? All my life, I've always been waiting. Maybe it's time for me to move on. I can't be friends with him anymore, because being friends really hurt. Because I'll always be wanting something more... I always had, even before we started this thing, even before he started to give me a little bit of attention. Long Distance Sucks. It's either he's in all the way or he's not.

I wish it was just as simple as that. I wish the next time he calls or texts, i can just turn off my feelings, just like that. But I can't. I still can't.

God help me.

Last Words on Proclamation 1017

2006-03-04T22:48:00.001+08:00

As GMA currently lifts the Proclamation that has turned this nation upside down, here are just a few thoughts, a unique voice apart from the shouts on the streets we're already familiar with, or from the angry banters we hear from politicians left and right... words that may be few but those I strongly believe and agree with:

"... Arroyo should win the support of the military, purge disloyal officers ala Stalin, and start clamping down on the political chaos that has really shackled our country from progress. Sometimes I feel like Filipinos enjoy too much freedom, and very little discipline. It is almostlike anarchy, and we need less freedoms for the sake of stability. There is always a tradeoff between personal freedom and state power. I think there is too much of the former and way to little of the latter. We have shown that as a people, we do not exercise our freedom responsibly."
-- from a concerned PEXer

Amen to that.

My Renaissance Guy

2006-03-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

Caught up with a friend I was doing business with (before, when I was still with Naturale) for a final errand delivery. What was supposed to be just a drop-off of stickers turned out to be a really good talk about business and life in general, which was quite expected whenever he and I would ask politely about each other's day. It was even a bigger surprise to know that he was only a batch higher from me in UPBA, and that maybe we'd already seen each other in the halls and we just didn't know it. He says I look familiar, that he's certain of seeing me before during student council meetings. I can't quite place him, but we do know common friends, and common BA gossip! Haha! Amazingly, I just found out he's in a band (when he's not busy with work) and they're releasing an album soon... I've always been a sucker for guitar guys ever since Jason Mraz, and this just puts the icing on the cake! *sigh*

He's one of the few people I really respect and admire. He's sincerely nice, and he makes the wisest business suggestions without making you feel stupid nor brusahed aside. By his lifestyle and beliefs, he strengthens my passion for entrepreneurship and in always standing out no matter what I do. Love what you do and do what you love, so to speak. Ang galing nya, at natutuwa talaga ako sa magagaling na tao. I didn't know why I didn't say goodbye officially, as I planned to do. I guess a part of me still wished that our paths would again cross someday, maybe not necessarily in BA and Naturale.

Wish you all the best Kelvin! Thanks for the friendship, the words of wisdom and the inspiration. See you soon! :-)

I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

2006-03-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time, with all your good time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now, and I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right

As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me

I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found myself always thinking of you

As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me

Oh, no matter what I do
It's just a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I'll ever love

And as long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me
I'll never get over you
Getting over
Never get over you getting over
I'll never get over you...getting over me

Signing Off..

2006-03-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

...farewell videoke party...

Last shout-outs from Dennis:

Dianne, I didn't know you could be so senti. I'll miss your tambutso-like personality...
Coni, next time magsama ka naman kapag mag-disappear ka para masaya. I'll miss your wonderfully crazy ideas...
Gladys, i'll always wash my hands off whatever awakenings this job has brought you. I'll miss the security and safety knowing Kim Bauer is around...
Cris, don't reply to this email baka hingin ko pa ulit ang transcript mo (JOKE... ay written pala to kaya pwede). I'll miss the love team in the office...

Goodluck people on your next endeavors. I'm sure you'll do very very well. Basta whatever it is make sure you challenge the status quo and kick ass! Magtatampo ako if you do not visit the office every now and then (make sure may dala kayong food at Yakult!).

I'll sign you off from the egroups and emails this weekend.

Thanks for the moments!

Dennis

Shet... *tears tears*... I'll miss the war room (as of today, it's being constructed into another meeting room... definitely something more dreary and officey) and the people that comes with it... the laughter and tears, the stress, the chikas, the crazy moments, the videoke moments...Thanks to everyone for making it a very memorable two years. I'll drop by the playroom next time. Will promise to bring more Cheez It and Yakult and Yakisoba!

Signing Out... Gladys Judan, former Intrapreneur....

Zsazsa Zaturnnah-(huh!)

2006-02-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

Zsazsa Zaturnnah's one of the funnest and funniest plays I've seen for a long time! It was a good homecoming for me at CCP since Miss Saigon. I'm a big fan of Ricci Chan and Agot Isidro whom I've seen in previous plays already, and I was curious to see Eula perform as well in her first ever musical stint.

I was re-acquainted into the world of Camp (read=gay lingo) which was always interesting to learn. Never knew that Eula could sing that well, and she really sounded gay (which for her role is a good thing!), while Agot and Ricci gave stellar performances, as expected. Ada was a professor pala, which explains the hordes of fans who were his students from Miriam. Dodong was a surprise too; apparently, he's already a composer and a MetroPop veteran. Three hours was just enough (I couldn't believe we laughed that long!) for the whole plot to unfold and for the punch lines to be delivered at just the right time. Kudos to the creative sets and props, and to the spandex costumes (definitely time space warp-ish!) Too bad the ushers were poorly confused (which was very unfortunate for CCP's reputation) and our seats were quite cramped--at second half, my right flip-flop accidentally fell at the bottom of the bleachers, which I could only crawl to get after the show was over! Cripes!

Waited for our happy food (banana split galore!) at Iceberg's while debating whether we should go back and finish our autograph signing. Good thing Eda was with me, my very own "Amazonistah" who made first dibs with Ricci, Agot, Eula, Wilma and Arnold a.k.a. Dodong (Ang Superstar ng Buhay Ko ay Ikaw! Cheesiness!). I just followed suit and smiled stupidly along… I was still definitely starstruck! Too bad I wasn't able to talk more with Carl the Priest, whom I shared smiles with during intermission and after the play (yep, cheesy kilig moment part two!). Definitely the most fun backstage adventures I've ever had!

I definitely recommend everyone to watch this play, if only there were tickets left. Last I heard the play is already sold out until the end of the season (we ourselves got tickets from a fixer!). This play goes out to all Amazonistahs out there: Go get your "mahiwagang bato", be superheroes and fall in love with your own Dodong's along the way...;-) Carpe Diem!

WWE Raw Live Tour in Manila!

2006-02-24T23:43:00.001+08:00

Big Show, Big Crowd at the Big Dome!

After lifetimes of longing and wishful thinking, Julius and I were finally able to catch the WWE Raw Live Tour in Manila! The Stars came over here for a two-night show and Araneta was really jampacked! It was a dream come true for Julius, who's always been a fan. I guess in a certain way, it's always been my dream too, even if my generation still idolized Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart (and even believed Ultimate Warrior's fatal exit from the show!) We got tickets only in the Upper Box Arena, but it wasn't too bad... thanks to zoom lens of my DSC-T5. I was "hired" as official photographer for the night! Harhar!

On the other side though, the event almost didn't push through, as there was a "state of national emergency" declared by GMA. Everyone feared it was almost marital law, as politicians and rallyists were arrested on the streets. It was pretty scary; at a press release, the wrestlers admitted that they were scared too! Good thing that even the biggest rallies couldn't stop fans from going! We did scream our lungs out that night: "Steel Chair! Steel Chair!" The girls beside me screamed louder... I never felt greater adrenaline rush with that many people before!

Thanks to Julius for bringing me, and for letting me see Triple H, Mick Foley, Big Show and Cena! Even if I don't get to watch the show as often now, the Tour made me realize I'm still a fan, and I'd always be a screaming fan for them. Our Php500 bucks apiece souvenir shirts will prove that! Steep Man! But everything was definitely worth it!!!

About that Choir Guy...

2006-02-20T22:44:00.001+08:00

After a long long time, I'm finally Inspired again :-)

Met someone from DAYS who was truly quite a character - He's a playwright / theater director who has one of the most wonderful voices I've heard. He was the one who taught me all those Days Songs, and I owe him much gratitude for that. If it weren't for him, I don't think I'll be able to join the choir, let alone do duets with him... My heart still skips a beat whenever he compliments my voice, like a proud mentor. What can I say... inspired nga talaga...

He loves UP as much as I do, loves menthol lights (my kinda guy!) and he was the first one out of all my friends from DAYS who asked me about my work, and who remembered what exactly I do for a living, and not just to make small talk. I'm glad I went with him to McDo instead of going with the group to Something Fishy. Talks about social-consciousness, politics, philosophy... to manghuhulas and UP fairs and concerts... to love and those feelings in between. That was one of the best conversations I've ever had - so good that we slept around 4am already not because we were tired nor running out of things to say, but that he just really had to prepare already for another session he was facilitating in a few hours...

Too bad he's still quite in love with a ghost from his past. His was quite the love story... a courtship complete with the theatrical staging and yep, all that drama. Kiniklilig pa rin ako just remembering about it. But like all great love stories, his did not end happily. And sadly, I think I was able to make him realize that whatever happens, he still would hold that girl in a pedestal, and no other can measure up to his "goddess".

Yup, he's definitely complicated (he admitted so himself), and he does have high standards. I'm not too blind to know that I won't have that chance to really be with him, but surprisingly I'm not too sad about that. I don't think I'll be able to make him happy anyway. (and this is definitely not bitterness talking!) I guess it's enough for me to spend time and see him at DAYS... admiring silently from afar. For now, it's enough to make me smile everyday, knowing that somewhere out there is a guy who really really has a strong faith and has so much passion for life (and is not gay!)... someone I can sing with again, till the next DAYS... :-)

Close to You

2006-02-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

I watched Close to You twice--on Opening Day with my Intra girls (as my farewell gig), and the second time with my mom, who was convinced to watch after she heard me rave about it.

Story was quite simple: girl saves boy's life, boy befriends girl, boy falls in love with girl best friend, girl stalks another guy, boy gets jealous but follows her friend along, girl gets guy crush but realizes she's fallen in love with boy, girl confronts boy, boy asks girl to think things over, girl chooses boy, boy and girl live happily ever after...

The dialogue was witty and modern. John Lloyd's sarcastic humor was such a refreshing change (Para kayong Justice League! Harhar!) But I have to agree with Eda though that the way the writers developed the friends turning into lovers angle was so true to the real world. It was not cliche, hollywood movie-ish at all, and that made the characters and the whole film more poignant and endearing in the end...

Definitely the Valentine Movie Date this year! Go watch with your single girlfriends and with your guy best friend *wink wink* :-)

V-Day

2006-02-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today was like any other. Except that I got a really big box of expensive chocs from my parents... and that there was a pseudo-arts-and-crafts at the war room today as we filled the room with cut-out pink hearts (cheesy, i know)... and that there were lovey-dovey forwarded quotes from friends who have always remembered...

It's the little things, and the constant love of my family and friends that really mattered. They made me forget, even for a few moments, that there were no bouquets of flowers (which has always been a dream), nor texts from that special someone, nor an invitation out for a date...

I guess those are not that important anymore... well, just for today. There's always next year right?

Happy Hearts' Day Everyone! :-)

Officially Resigned

2006-02-02T10:52:00.000+08:00

Today, I officially handed in my resignation as Intrapreneur for Felina and Beach Hut.

It's been such an emotional roller coaster, the whole day and the (almost) two years that I've spent with Naturale Labs. I cried, I laughed, I heaved a sigh of relief. It's almost like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, yet at the same time, I feel like I'm losing a big part of myself and I don't know where to find it.

Good thing I had my family and my friends to keep me sane and tell me everything's going to be alright. Thanks to Motherhood and Batas, for still being willing to support me financially despite this now soul-searching phase that I have. Thanks to Eda whom I woke up late last night, but who has always been standing by my side during these insane crazy months (I will get myself SUN load soon promise!). Thanks to Marc for the fortune cookie comfort food, for always being rational, and for the big hug. Thanks to my girls, Cris, Dianne and Coni for the coffee after, for understanding and still wishing my knees well despite my neverending adventures to Caloocan and beyond.

I have the vaguest idea what to do now. All I know is that I have to get well, physically and emotionally. Move on, but never forget the wonderful lessons and the great experience this work has taught me. Lest I forget, thanks to Dennis for being my mentor, for teaching me about life, and for being a good friend. I couldn't have asked for a better boss... you will always be my "purple cow"... :-)

Happy Birthday! :-)

2006-01-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

Although I was not able to go to Tagaytay (my birthday wish), this year's birthday celebration for moi is still quite memorable. I had three birthday cakes (my purple ube "best enjoyed before" cake from Intras, my jumongous brownie from Eda @ Kulinarya, and my personalized vanilla ice cream from Italiannis, complete with lapdance moves from Mike!). That means more birthday wishes! Yay! Got to eat all my favorite food as well: pasta, salad and cake galore from my favorite Italian guys--Don Hen's, Chef D' Angelo's and Italiannis! Yumyum!

I think what made it more special were the people who remembered my day, even if I don't get to talk or catch up with them as often as I wanted to. There were a couple of text messages, and birthday cards, which really made my heart smile and laugh as well. All in all, I was really happy even if it was a work-filled day. Thank you for sending all your love…Much love to you guys as well!

Thanks to God for another year, for new hope, new experiences and new opportunities to touch more lives and discover more about myself and life...

Afterthought: Eda and I will be celebrating our 10th year Anniversary this May (a few weeks earlier than our exact date in June), at Nurture Spa and Sonya’s B&B. Guess I’m going to get my birthday wish after all! God really works in miraculous ways... :-)

Geek in the Pink: Jason Mraz Live!

2006-01-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

I was never a really really big fan, but I enjoyed his music so I decided to go with Eda. Besides, what better way to have an early birthday celebration than to enjoy good music with your best friend (whom surprisingly I've never been with to a legit concert before! Gary V does not count!) and a really cute guy in guitars?

Never expected it to be so much fun! Thanks to Eda for getting us really really good seats at the Rockwell Tent! Jason was surprisingly witty (I love guitar guys with sarcastic humor!) and so adorable. He and Paolo Santos performed really well, and though I was not able to really memorize all the songs despite the never ending looped Jason Playlist at the War Room, I was the content fan waving my lighter to You and I, The Remedy and Wordplay.

Felt like a couple of giggly highschoolers who stalked Jason at the backstage. Even if we were unsuccessful in getting his autograph, just waving goodbye to him made us still smile stupidly (pathetic, I know). What can I say, we were defenseless against his charms! Can't wait to catch his next concert in Manila (which is turning out to be an annual tradition I heard!) Cheers to the Geek in the Pink! :-)

New Year, New Resolutions

2006-01-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

Yup, it's my year! Officially the YEAR OF THE DOG! And to kick things off, here's my own "list" (drumroll please...):

Things I Want to Happen for 2006:
1. Get a Drivers' License!!!
2. Learn Ilocano and Spanish.
3. Learn to play guitar.
4. Learn how to cook.
5. Develop a new sport (still deciding between Chess and Swimming)
6. Travel to an Asian Country (Bangkok or HK... depends on the fare and rates! Sayang ang miles...)
7. Learn Photoshop
8. Watch a concert, game and play
9. Keep all doctor appointments with Dr. Sese
10. Invest money wisely (probably in time deposit)
11. Get a new cellphone!

On a more personal note, I resolve to:
1. Never say anything bad about others (or at least minimize them...)
2. Fulfill all promises (that includes being on time!)
3. Pray and reflect more.
4. Procrastinate less.
5. Personal makeover! Fix self, room, workspace more...

Let's see how many I can tick off as DONE by the end of the year!

Hiatus!

2005-12-31T16:54:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since I last wrote in here... well, new year, new skin! Will try to do multiple blogs for the meantime. Hehe :-)

Find Your Favorite: The Starbucks Coffee Planner 2006

2005-12-27T20:15:00.000+08:00

After 21 crème brulees and peppermint hot chocolates (among many others), I finally claimed my Starbucks Planner at Starbucks Petron Station, North Expressway (yep, we were on our way to Bulacan and Nueva Ecija then). Too bad my friend Jonjon was not there with his usual perky smile and warm hugs, but thanks still to baristas Ren and Lea who made me feel welcome during my stay at the store.

A lot of people have said that buying that much coffee does not compensate for just a planner. But for the collector in me, it was the process in itself that I cherished. I did play Santa (as their ads suggested), as around half of my precious stickers were through freebies I gave out to family and friends. It felt good to treat them to Starbucks, because it gave me a chance to catch up with them—what’s going on in their lives at the moment, how they’ll be spending Christmas--a welcome escape from our usually hectic work schedules.

This year though, the planner itself was indeed worth it! The whole thing works as a journal in itself, encouraging the owner to write not only appointment schedules, but their most intimate thoughts as well. That’s convenient for me since my 2005 Starbucks planner was more of my diary than a planner anyway (the first one that I actually finished after millions of required homework and online journals!) Each month features a flavored drink (which is actually cool because I get to learn the Starbucks lingo a little bit more) weaved into a blog-inspired entry. The GCs are a plus to help you find your favorite Starbucks concoction—something that actually inspires you to pursue life’s choices and make each experience as personal and memorable as possible. Wow… I never appreciated poetry until now. And I didn’t know that there were so so much more coffee variants to choose from… so much more to get you hooked into the Starbucks Coffee Culture! I know I’m now a full-fledged convert!

As for my drink… I’m still torn between a venti green tea frappucinno with extra whipped cream, a grande hazelnut caramel affogato, or just a good old white chocolate mocha with a ham and cheese croissant… gotta go find my favorite! 

The Company of Fools @ the Metro Bar!

2005-12-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

Company of Fools @ Metro Bar

Finished my last event for the year-- sponsorship at The Metro Bar for the Company of Fools concert! Was really down with fever last night, but a they say, the show really must go on. So take pictures I did (thanks to my new sony cam!) while samples were given away to the events' audiences... Too bad I was only able to catch the opening song for the Company (I'm a fan pa nman!), but I really had to rest as the flu was really starting to affect me alte into the night

The Company! :-)

Thanks to Les, Dick, Dessy, Dianne and Cris for helping out! I wouldn't have survived the night without you guys...Hope you enjoyed the concert as well :-)

with Cris and Dianne :-)

Carabiners! Carabiners! Carabiners!

2005-12-14T15:48:00.000+08:00

Carabiners!

The Carabiners are finally here!!!

After months of sourcing out a Chinese supplier, negotiating for colors, wire payment transfers, dealing with customs and brokers, deliveries to warehouse and plant... I finally have in our hands 60,000 carabiners (figuratively of course!).

It's a nice way to end the year, work-wise. I was quite afraid that we would not be able to see those cartons until next year, good thing it pushed through this week still. Importation was quite an interesting experience--there's so much I have learned about this industry for the past months. Thanks to Tito William for being patient with all my seemingly stupid questions, and for mentoring me about the tricks of the trade. I hope I can learn about export really soon as well--can't wait to ship Felinas out to Vietnam! :-)

Lost and Found (Returned)!

2005-12-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

Was about to actually create an entry to warn friends to take better care of their phones.. as a couple of my friends had their own mobiles lost or snatched in public places, even in broad daylight... when I myself experienced the same thing!

I was on my way from the bank to see my dermatologist, when I realized that I left my phone in the trike! All color drained from my face, as I struggled for a minute on what I should do. I left the derma clinic immediately and took another ride to the tricycle terminal, waiting desperately for the driver to return. Surprisingly, this was the first time that I rode a tricycle without taking note of the body number and driver's name, as I have always been trained to do. Good thing my mom was able to contact him and he promised to return my phone. I gave him an extra jacket and 500 in gratitude.. I was really thankful to have my phone back.

There are not too many good men out there who would have returned lost cell phones... as they say, times are hard and I know he could have sold it somewhere. But I really am grateful and lucky I guess... I hope my friends have had the same fate. Not that I wish them to lose their phones, but that if ever misfortunes strike that their belongings would be misplaced or left somewhere, that they should also be lucky to find a good-hearted person who will still return them :-)