Birthday Wish List 2011

As the months of birthdays draw near, (and just in case someone is peeking)... allow me to share my own fearless wish list for my 28th on the 25th:

1. Bible
2. Arm Band for iPod Nano
3. Black and White thin belts
4. Party Bag
5. Strappy Sandals
6. Brasierre and Undies set
7. Calorie-count book
8. Anne Rice's Christ the Lord Series
9. Car Seat Covers
10. Auto-lock and auto-windows
11. Ipod Touch
12. Speakers Dock
13. Complete DVD seasons of a TV series
14. Trip to Bangkok
15. Espadrille Sandals
16. Taylor Swift CDs
17. New Earphones
18. Pedometer
19. Body Bag for Weekends
20. Belt Bag for Travel
21. Luggage Set
22. Bangles
23. White Gold Bracelet
24. Red Sexy Heels
25. LWD
26. Nina Garcia's Book on 100 Essentials
27. Hair Makeover: highlights, new cut, the works!
28. World Peace

A Year of Firsts in 2010 | A Year to Look Forward to in 2011

2010 was a year of definitive milestones, and many firsts:

• Fun Run - joined my first 3K in March for UL Run United, and ran 4 5Ks after for AACE Boston Run, Robinsons Buddy Run, Rexona Run, and again for Run United 2... all in good time! Woot!
  
• Blood Donation - UL's EC had a donation project, and it was a good opportunity to donate to Children's hospital. Was woozy a bit, but didnt mind doing it for a good cause.
  
• Pirates - sing and dance live to Aint That Mountain High Enough... wenches savvy!
  
• Boston & New York - first time to visit the East Coast, and it was the best time to see Nikki and the Family too! Niagara falls was spectacular!
  
• Dumaguete - summer adventures with Trippers, this time Ling joined us. Loved the Apo beach, papa Coco, and all the fun times with friends.
  
• Chorale Concert - Katuwaan in October was the fruit of months-long practices with the ISDF Chorale. Sang my first solo too: "dinggin mo... dinggin mo...." nerve-racking, but sooooo fulfilling after!
  
• Checking Account - first step towards professionalizing our business. Franchising, here we go!
  
• S&R, Wensha, CEO Suites, GoHotels - one of the few monthsaries with Ling... always loved going to new places and experiencing new things with Bebe
  
• Trattoria, Borough, Uncle Cheffys - new restos to celebrate monthsaries with Ling and reunions with old friends.
  
• Republiq - spotted: single PMG ladies partying it up at Republiq. Had fun getting lost and doing time on traffic (and parking) with Badet.
  

I am not certain what 2011 holds for me, but I am filled with hope for what the new year will bring. Definitely will focus on Health (drop down to 125 lbs!), Travel (Bangkok) and Business/MBA. Here's hoping that 2011 will bring forth more memorable firsts and more life-defining adventures. Let's bring it on!

Holidays 2010

Christmas Season came and went by so fast! With all the preparations and festivities, I had the best and happiest time celebrating my favorite holiday:

Old Traditions We Continued

• Greenhills Night Market – went twice, with family and Ling on our 22^nd monthsary. Isaw, Hotdog, BBQ, Popcorn, Shawarma, Scramble Bibingka, Twistix. Food trip galore! Thanks for the Adidias shirt too Ling!
• Pink-Red (and Gold) Christmas – congrats Lowlah Boppy for organizing again… was Garland Girl this year for all training institutions
• ISDF Caroling – rode with Hends this year, and got cookies from Mamu Babes to pass the time while in traffic. Had fun going around again on all offices. Field trip!
• LRI Drive Thru – level-up as the Christmas reindeers sang minus-one Tis the Season for all the offices
• Simbang Gabi – went alone on the first night, for Fr Gerry Orbos’s mass at Greenhills, then attended CTK evening mass with Ling for our monthsary, and again at dawn mass with the family J hope I can complete the 9 mornings one of these years…
• Exchange Gifts – PMG’s annual white elephant panic-mode exchange gifts. Got Spa GCs at Blue Water Day Spa from Ge. 2011’s first Monthsary with Ling, here we go!
• Reunions – it was crazy organizing, but I still had fun meeting up with Friends: Kwailuh date with April @ Chilis, Powerplant, Haberdei brunch @ Borough & Breton, Podium, Tentatues @ Liv’s Uncle Cheffy’s, Burgos Circle, and Ohana @ Fez, Serendra
• LRI Party – wore Red this year, but still Shembot sexy. Will be Green in 2011, I promise!
• UL Year Ender – slept the morning away, but got good parking nonetheless at the end of Ultra. Fun fun okray session for the raffle girl, good thing Bossing Vic Sotto saved the day!
• Mass Texts – still unlitxt, still mass texts and greets, still listing up everyone. Tedious, yes. But it’s worth the effort to send good cheer and receive nice greetings in return.
• Red Christmas – yup, still color coded. Dad changed from his yellow shirt to a red one for the fam picture taking
• DVD Series – was thinking of the Gossip Girl this year, but bought the critically-acclaimed the Office instead. Was curious on all the fuss. Still in Season 2 though. Whatta douchebag boss! Still funny nonetheless… reminds me of someone actually… hmmm….
• Vacation with Villamar Kids – whatta two days! Shopping galore at all malls and tiangges and department stores. Had fun playing santa with the kids :)

New Traditions We Started

• Noche Buena – first time to come up with the menu and cook for Noche Buena. Julius helped with the grocery and prep time too! First time family finished the whole Sicilian Chicken Salad… but left out the cheese-heavy lasagna to be devoured the next day.
• Reading list – lotsa books this holidays! Finished a self-help (5 Love Languages), 2 romance novels (Juile Garwood’s Mercy and Shadow Dance, thanks to Ling’s advanced tiangge monthsary gifts)
• Coins in the house – Mom got the idea from Tita Letlet, and hence spread out the coins in each room… for later pick-up during New Year’s.
• New Haircut – had my hair shortened a bit and layered much. Still getting used to it, but I love the light feeling. Haha! Happy New Hair! J

Old Traditions We Missed

• MMFF – We were supposed to go as part of reunion get-together with ADMU friends, but Cha was not able to go down in time from Baguio. Nothing interesting this year anyway… except maybe for Dalaw and Rosario (which I’ll prolly catch in DVD instead).
• Sta Lucia Fireworks – twas raining that time, and Dad was not feeling well so the family was not able to catch the annual fireworks this year.
• Marikina market on New Years – Mom bought in the afternoon instead… still had the 12 bilog-bilog fruits in the table.
• New Year’s Fireworks – first time to buy the fireworks myself… fail! Kaya pala mura, the fireworks ended fast… plus some of them burst *almost* in our faces and hands! Yikes! We gave some of them away and made torotot instead.

Twas the most eventful holidays, with old and new traditions alike. I loved traditions, but I loved the time to rejuvenate, reflect, be with Family and be with God again.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year’s Everyone!

Birthday Wish List 2010

Here's the birthday wish list from the birthday girl:

1. Laptop Bag
2. Body Bag
3. Gym Bag
4. Backpack
5. Matte Lipstick
6. Pedometer
7. Gym clothes (jogging pants & top)
8. Pasta cookbook
9. Lingerie set
10. Running Shoes

[note: i got 8 out of 10... I didn't get everything on my birthday per se, but some gave me the gifts and I bought the rest throughout 2010. not bad at all! so thankful for the blessings!:)]

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

It’s been an eventful 2009. A lot of highs and lows, triumphs and challenges, thrown in with the occasional surprises too. Here’s a look back to the year that was:

• A Love Life in Bloom. February 20^th was the birth of the Lings. After 10 monthsaries, senior moments, food trips, adventures, wink winks… the rest was history.
• A Bunch of First Timers. Not a virgin territory anymore: UAAP game, Nuvali, La Mesa Ecopark, Spring Awakening, Pacquiao Pay-per-View, Discovery Suites, Bellinis. First time to sing with Erik Santos too! *starstruck*
• A Powerful and Precise Brand. Norizec was transferred to LRI, to be championed by moi. Was given the opportunity to be team leader for EM2 as well
• A Flash Flood. Manila came to fear that one word: Ondoy, which left us with a lot of awakenings. More than half of our belongings were washed out by the flood, but we had more room to welcome new things, and in our hearts a renewed strength.
• A Couple of Trips, here and there. Mexico, US (twice), Macau, Camiguin, Davao. And a looooot of field works in between. I love my work!
• A Chorale. ISDF repertoire for 80-20, REF, and the caroling stint. A concert might be in the works next year!

Astrologers say that 2010 would be a challenging year for many. But I, for one, am looking forward to achieving my own personal goals for the year:

• Personal: Learn how to cook pasta, be more on time, fix self more.
• Career: Focus on database updates, relationship building
• Business: Get options with financing and location maps
• Health: Drop down to 125 lbs. Exercise more, choose food wisely
• Finance: Deposit 50K in account. Save more, spend less.
• Love life: Be more patient and understanding.
• Spiritual: Get a mentor, read the Word and reflect everyday.

For 2010, I want to focus on (1) Health/Diet (Food and Exercise), (2) Finances and Savings, (3) Career & Business. The rest are daily habits that I would like to practice and imbibe in myself as well.

Here’s to another round of resolutions I hope to keep, and an amazingly eventful 2010! Cheers!

A New and Old Christmas

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year, mostly because of all the traditions that the holiday brings. This year brought forth both old and new traditions, most of which filled up the last quarter of my social calendar:

• *New* Pink-Red Christmas Décor. LRI’s Christmas elves went around medical institutions: ISDF, UST, and SLMC to decorate pink & red wreaths, garlands and Christmas tree. Shining Shimmering Glittering Galore!
• *Old* LRI Drive-Thru. Second Year in a Row to wish and sing carols for UL enablers and give Parol gifts. Bonding with PMG after at Nuvali.
• *New* ISDF Chorale’s Caroling. First caroling of the group around pharma companies. Kapuy driving around to Christmas traffic, but it's been fun donning the hats and singing along with the choir. Dream come true :)
  
• *Old* Greenhills Night Market. Food tripping of isaw, bbq, fish ball, bibingka, shawarma, hotdogs while watching the COD christmas animation. Sarap!
  
• *New* Meralco Christmas Lights. Meralco added new attractions this year, from the large copper Belens, to the christmas houses, santa's sleigh, and Mom's favorite Train! Choo-choo!
  
• *Old* Simbang Gabi. Was not able to complete this year’s 9 masses, but was able to celebrate 3: 15^th at Greenhills (celebrated by Fr. Orbos), 16^th at CTK with Ling (our annual tradition), and 20^th dawn mass at CTK with family (another family tradition).
• *Old* Enchanted Kingdom. 10^th Monthsary celebration at the well-loved amusement park. It’s been years since I last visited, and though tiring, it was great trying out all the rides again. The ferris wheel has never had a lovelier sight, with Ling holding my hand at gondola number 20 :)
• *Old* Exchange Gifts. Learned about White Elephant exchange gifts this year with PMG and Ohana. Fun fun fun!
• *Old* Unilab Year-Ender. Didn’t win the raffle this year (lightning can only strike once after all!), but was able to join the program—singing the Christmas Carol with Erik Santos. Starstruck!
• *Old* Reunions. All new venues this year: Tentative Tuesdays @ Kebab Factory, Haberdei @ Eat Well, KwaiLuh @ Kabisera, and House parties with the ISDF Chorale (@ Mamu’s place) and Ohana (@ Milo’s place).
  
• *Old* Christmas Greetings. Mass texts, posts and emails to friends, relatives, officemates. No unlitxt this year though, Globe suspended it early. Boo! But can’t resist still mass greeting (and listing up) everyone.
• *New* Black and White Christmas. Themed Christmas for this year, both for our christmas outfits and our food. Julius and I cooked noche buena for the first time. Good job!
  
• *New* Christmas Lunch. Clawdaddy at Boni High for some good ‘ol Baby Back Ribs and Szechuan Crabs. Yummy!
• *Old* MMFF. Watching I Love You Goodbye with Drew. Probably saving Wapakman for DVD instead (haha!)
• *Old* Christmas reunions with BFFs. Catch up over mini-reunions with Eda @ Sakae, MOA and Drew @ Fish&co, Trinoma. Missed these two friends, it's been a while since we last saw each other... thank God for Christmas gifts (new notebook from Eda, and A Time Traveler's Wife from Drew) and great friendship over the years. *hugs*
• *New* Christmas with Ling. First Christmas with the Boyfriend, meeting up in Bulacan to hear Mass at Divine Mercy Shrine. Exchange gifts: my adidas ateneo jacket for him, and his coach bag for me. Loved them both, but I love my lingling more :)
• *New* Christmas Party with Villamar cousins. Joy and Ine will have a sleepover at our house as we take them out to see Manila.
• *Old* Sta. Lucia Fireworks. Watching the show with fam on the 30^th.
• *Old* Christmas and New Year Blogs :)

My December was certainly full of old traditions and new activities, as my planner has itself witnessed. But all these made the holidays truly fun, eventful, nostalgic and memorable. Thank you to family and friends with whom I celebrated each special day this yuletide season. Wishing everyone a Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Middle

I'm in the middle of the sales and marketing meeting, trying to fix our figures so we can hit our quota for the month of August. At the same time, I'm in the middle of my weekly tasks trying to figure out what to do first, my boss' requirements or those long-overdue papers that were buried in my backlog files.

I want to pause and take a breather and think about what I really want to do.. not just for today but for the long term. I'm tired mostly, often, because I feel lost already. I don't know if I should still be doing what I'm doing. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. This is not my strength. Bottomline, I'm not happy, I'm not fulfilled.

If I had my way, I would just be a housewife, a mother, a wife. An entrepreneur, doing the business that I would love to do, and not answerable to anyone else. I would take care of my family, my husband and kids (in the future), for in my mind, I was already able to work in corporate and be a brand manager... my dream since I was a kid. Now that I'm here, I feel like I ought to be... somewhere else now.

Then again, this job puts food on our table, pays our bills, and gives us the mobility/car that we need. The family has no one else to turn to, and I cannot be selfish enough to want something else when in fact, having a job in itself is a blessing. Much more with Unilab's comprehensive benefits.

The question then is.. how long do I drag myself to work? how long do I stay in the middle? how long will it take for me to take the plunge and lead my life the way I want it to?

*sigh*... maybe someday. When I'm at the end of my rope. For now, I'd settle for the middle-ground.

Friday the 20th

I never thought I would be happy again. After so many hits and misses, I was resigned to accept the fact that maybe singlehood is the path for me. And then, an old friend came along.

He had been waiting in the sidelines for what seems like a lifetime.. watching the flurry of people come and go in my life, listening and comforting me when things went downhill (like the good friend that he is), until he finally got the courage to fight for what he always believed was rightfully his (or so he says). One drunken christmas party after, on that fateful street in Quezon City.. he got down on one knee and asked permission to pursue me. Seriously this time. No turning back. And the rest was history...

The days and weeks and months went by, and as we met each others' friends, families, officemates, past flings, and got to know how the other half lived... I realized that I was truly blessed to find someone who not only fit my non-negotiables to a tee, but someone who sincerely, truly loved me.

I thought it mattered when or where or how.. but then all that mattered was that we were given this day to show how much we loved each other...

I'm keeping the faith, stronger than ever. I now believe that it can and it will rain when you want it hard enough. And that there is such a thing as the right person and the right timing. And that prayers can do miracles. And there are such things called fate. People who are meant to be. People who are soulmates.

Happy Friday the 20th Ling! Love you! :)

Wishful Thinking: My Birthday Wish List

I've always believed that if you wished hard enough, and if you write things down, your most fervent wishes are most likely to come true. Hence, in the essence of the mantra "ask, believe, and you shall receive", below is my birthday wish list (in case anyone is peeking):

1. A Surprise Party (I've never had one, and I think it would be a blast!)
2. Bath and Body Works Vanilla Lotion
3. Victoria's Secret Love Spell
4. Kate Spade Black Bag
5. Naturalizer Black Pumps
6. Guess Wallet or Fino Purple Leather Wallet
7. Parker Purple Pen
8. Tickets to a concert or a play
9. Bouquet of Purple Flowers
10. Kenneth Cole Dual Time Watch
11. Bridal Spa Package (Facial / Mani-Pedi / Massage.. the works!)
12. Seat Covers for Vios
13. Padded Laptop Bag
14. Olay Regenerist Set
15. Blue Ocean / Good to Great Book
16. Buffet Dinner at Circles
17. Home-baked pasta or cake (para may effort ;)
18. Platinum or White Gold Bangle / Single-chain Bracelet
19. Round-Trip Tickets to Coron, Batanes or Caramoan (my top 3 destinations this 2009!)
20. Gold clutch bag
21. Little Black Dress (or short-mini dress)
22. Face Shop Foundation or Eye Make-up
23. Travel Journal / Scrapbook
24. A Donation to World Vision, Tahanang Walang Hagdan, Red Cross, or U-Foundation in my name
25. A Nice Boyfriend (for a change)
26. World Peace ;)

26 Wishes for my 26th Birthday. LOL. Wishing and Hoping and Crossing all my fingers (and toes!) If by any chance I shall be blessed with any of these gifts, then I shall count myself truly lucky. Truth is, all I really wanted is to always have good health, peace of mind and to appreciate the love of friends and family around me. I'm already grateful for all my blessings :)

Haberdei to Me (and to Tita Cory!) :)

Looking Back at 2008 | Looking Forward to 2009

It's been a while since I blogged, and as I read through the archives, I realize that much really has happened for the past months that I wasn't really able to write about. 2008 has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, triumphs and defeats, falling in love and heartbreaks. Let me count the ways:

• Inang Romana: Started the year with an early Farewell, to my beloved Inang who passed away at our ancestral home in Munoz. Will miss all your cooking, all the thoughtfulness and concern, and the support you gave me growing up. We Love you Inang.
• Hwong Khong and Hawaii: My 2 International Trips this year: the first one as a birthday present for me and lowlah, the next one as part of Prefplus. And I was granted 10years on my US VISA.. enough to save up for my next trip to New York! yay!
• Fenoflex Grand Launch: Yup, was working on V-Day. But no worries, because everything was still all red (including me).. roll out the red carpet for 520 MDs who celebrated with us as we launched my baby into the medical community! Cheers!
• Trip Around Pinas: Provincial launches for Fenoflex followed, which meant plane-hopping from one key city to the next.. phew! Tiring living on a suitcase, but I loved all the travel so bring it on! :)
• New GM: Goodbye Sir Lyle, Welcome Sir Nomer. A lot of adjustments in the office with the new management, but we're all hoping for a good change with LRI.
• PMG Resignations: The production numbers ain't the same without Badet, Gino and Steve. Best of Luck to you guys. See you around :)
• Falling in, and out, of Love. Met, loved and was heartbroken three times this year. I never really wrote about them, but I remember spending many sleepless nights daydreaming and then crying afterwards. This prompted so many reunions just so I can get my share of compassion and sanity from the support group, which is why I'm truly thankful for the friends. One thing I was able to prove: the heart truly is a resilient muscle, for it now begins to hope and beat again for someone new.. hopefully, someone whom I can share 2009 with...
• Nina Judan Jiao: I will miss my little angel. I know that somehow, Justice has been served. May you be in Peace now with Kuya Jess :)
• iCOMPLI Launch: Finally, was able to launch my patient program after two years of concept, development and testing. Next year, go nationwide!
• F@#k my Knee... Again!: Got another major one this year. Good thing I was able to put it back (weird but required skill my brother and I had to learn over time)
• Health Scares: Had multiple lab tests done this year, one for my platelet problem, and another for that breast scan. I was cleared for both late this year, thank goodness. Health is Wealth talaga.
• Won the UL Raffle: Count 'em and Weep (because I did cry when it all sank in): 100grand baby! One Word: Grabe. Ang galing! Ang saya! Thank you thank you Kuya Jess!
• Reunions, reunions, reunions. To Eda, Drew, Marc, Ling, Banchettos, GSM, my Babies, New Orleans Girls, Lowlahs, KwaiLuhs, Haberdeis, AIESECers, Dazers, and all my friends who lent their time to listen and gave their shoulders to cry on, who flooded my inbox with the sweetest and thoughtful messages, and who have supported and cheered me on through all my joys and sorrows this year.. I raise my glass to you. A girl could not ask for a greater group of true friends. I Love you All.
• Judanskis. Batas, Hustisya. Kwatog. You are my life, thank you for all the wisdom, guidance, support, prayers and love. Mahal ko Kayo.

There are many blessings to be thankful for, and many lessons to be learned from the past year. But like many years past, I AM EXCITED for the new year.. a chance to start anew--a clean slate, a new beginning. Let's see how many I can tick off for next year:

• Health: Join a dance class / Hiphop Abs and drop down to 125lbs.
• Wellness: Monthly Facials and Hot Oils, plus update new wardrobe.
• Travel: an Asian Trip, and a New Philippine City Trip.
• Arts: A Concert, A Play, A Book/CD Signing and a Sports Event.
• Attitudes: Be more professional, come to meetings on time, and deliver all commitments. Curse Less. Drink Less.
• Finances: Spend Less, Save More. Zero Debts. Open a passbook account: Deposit at least 1000 every month.
• Career: More FOCUS. Do Homework and come to the office prepared. Develop more relationships with target MDs.
• Self-Development: Enrol in MBA in Ateneo. Learn a new skill: Photoshop!
• Friendships: Meet and catch up with all the chapters at least twice in a year.
• Love: Introduce to the friends and the family. Keep in Touch. Enjoy each other and cultivate relationship :)
• Family: Have QT for each member of the Family (Sta Clara with Mom, Billiards with Julius, Travel with Dad)
• Spiritual: Continue my Morning Prayer Rituals. Share more blessings everyday.

Happy 2009 Everyone! Cheers!

Holiday Traditions

Christmas has always been magical for me, and when December strikes, I'm as giddy as the next kid who opened her toy from Santa on Christmas Eve. I love everything about Christmas: the carols, the lights, the food, the cool December air, and the traditions most especially. I'm a big follower of traditions, and I was happy to have been able to keep most of them this year:

• Simbang Gabi. I wasn't able to complete it, but I heard very meaningful masses with the people who mattered: My First Night alone at Greenhills Chapel (great way to reflect and welcome the Advent), Christ the King with Ling and Hangad Singers, Dawn Mass at Christ the King (again) with Family, and Gesu Church with Drew and Ateneo Chamber Singers.
• Amusement Parks. Star City with Monna and Jeff after our Star Theater Musical Extravaganza with Hairspray. Perya galore! :)
• Christmas Tree. Decors with Mom :)
• Christmas Lights. Trimmings with Dad :)
• Bibingka and Puto Bumbong. Wasnt able to taste puto bumbong yet, but i've had my share of hot bibingka. Yumyum!
• COD. Finally got to watch the whole thing, after a month of driving by and parking at Greenhills. Theme for the year: Reuse, Reduce and Recycle!
• Tiangge. Maxed out my bonus at Greenhills Tiangge.. got new PJs, new lacoste shirts, new crocs, new nike sports shirts, and more gifts for the fam! Happiness is Tiangge!
• Christmas Carols. St Lukes and Medical City Residents regaled us with a round of Christmas Hymns. We Wish you a Merry Christmas!
• Exchange Gifts and Kris Kringle. Something Red and Hot (Chinese Lip Balm), Something Green and Healthy (Del Monte Pineapple Tidbits). Something White and Light (Zonrox). Haha!
• Reunions! Haberdei. KwaiLuh. Big 40 with AIESEC. New Orleans girls. BSP. LRI. Judanskis. Morales. All nighters na sunod sunod! But it's nice to reminisce and catch up and be thankful for these wonderful people who have made my life truly rich and inspired.
• Misa de Gallo. Christmas Eve Mass at Christ the King :) Family Pictures beforehand!
• Noche Buena. All our favorite food: Angel Hair Carbonara, KFC Bucket Meal (my recipe!), Red Ribbon Coffee Crunch Cake (again, my recipe! haha!), My-Caroni Salad, Novellino.
• Opening the Gifts. Got a lot of purple stuff this year: purple bag, purple dress, purple hand bag. at least terno lahat! hehe :)
• *New* Gift-giving to Street Kids. New tradition.. be Santa's Little Helper and share the blessings with the less fortunate. Nakakatuwa sila :) The happiness in the children's faces are truly priceless.
• Makati Street Lights. Mom's neck craned back and forth, coupled with some ooh's and aah's at Makati Buildings' Christmas Extravaganza as we drove by Christmas Day. Classic!
• Spring Cleaning. Nilagnat ako this year.. hindi sanay nang malinis ang kwarto! haha!
• Metro Manila Film Fest. I think we're watching Tanging Ina this year. hehe :)
• Fireworks at StaLucia. December 30th!
• ... and of course, my Christmas and New Year Blogs!

At this time of merrymaking and enjoyment, may we all still remember the reason for the season: the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

A Blessed Christmas to Everyone! :)

Rants and Shout-outs

Mga bagay na gusto kong sabihin, pero di ko pa nagagawa... or hindi ko talagang magawa. I was always scared of confrontations. But if I had the guts, I would really tell people off:

1. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!!! Leave me alone!

2. Tigilan na natin ito. Wala namang patutunguhan eh. Ano ba talagang gusto mo?

3. Bakit mo ko ginugulo? Ok na ako eh. Ok na tayo. Talaga bang kailangan nating maging "friends"? Hindi ata ako ganun ka-"friendly".

4. Lulubog. Lilitaw. Lumubog ka na lang kaya nang tuluyan?

5. You want the best of both worlds. Ang saya mo naman. Gusto mo makisaya ako lagi sa yo?

6. For once in your life, be a man and mean what you say. 

7. You don't think I can leave this all behind? Watch me. 

There's a Fine Fine Line

This song's on my LSS and playlist and driving CD... for now... :

THERE'S A FINE FINE LINE by KATE MONSTER
from Avenue Q

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Tired

I am at a standstill. Because I choose to be here right now. When everything around me is moving about in a whirlwind pace, I choose to be at the middle of the tornado and just let everything go by in a blur. To feel nothing, to be immune of all pain and suffering and tears, for a change.

I am so tired. I am tired of straying away from the questions, because I only know the safe answers. I am tired of saying that I am ok, when there are days when I am not. I am tired of being strong, of staying optimistic despite the drama that is my life. I am tired of being the person who willingly solves others' crisis, despite my own tragedies. I am tired of asking why's, because I know that there are no answers. I am tired of cliches.. there is too much theory and assumptions and movie pick-up lines already I cannot process everything anymore. I am tired of being the one who remembers the details, the little things that remind me so painfully of the loss. I am tired of feeling guilty for all the wrong things happening lately, when I couldn't control them nor make things better like I used to. I am tired of complaining when I know I have no right, because other people are going through so much worse. I am tired of crying, of thinking that this is over.. when the next day proves to you that you can actually even sink lower.

Because right now, I just want to get away.. from it all. I am tired, and I am sick. The stress is apparently taking its toll on me, and I don't want to second guess what the doctors are not telling me. I am scared, because of the danger my life faces now that I cannot tell anyone, and that I must face alone.

I am lifting everything to Jess, to neverending prayers, to my own little angel up in heaven. Because no matter what, I still have hope. That tomorrow may finally be a better day, a new beginning. And I would no longer feel tired. And then I can smile again.

Of Love and Being in Love... Finally!

Haven't updated my blog in a while... been keeping myself busy with multiply and work and well, more face-to-face interactions. Surprisingly, I even let my birthday slip past without writing about it. Hmmm, I guess I enjoy more in the story that photos portray. Or maybe I just needed to be in the mood to really write. Or I needed to have something interesting and inspiring enough to put me in the mood to write. Maybe both. Maybe all three.

But I do have some life-changing news to spare. What changed I guess, is my own attitude on blogging. For a while, I kept things to myself. I chose to indulge in this overwhelming miracle by myself, instead of the usual detailed report of all the roller coaster emotions I was feeling, minute by minute—letting the world know the ins and outs of my crazy mind and well, life in general. Which is apparently the trend my whole blogspot has adopted, now that I browse through the archives.

A lot has indeed happened over the years: change in careers, DAYS experiences, falling in love, getting heartbroken… and the cycle goes on. Even my perspective on life and people has changed in the few years that I have had the chance to write. Today, I choose to be more positive, hopeful, optimistic. More spiritual and forgiving. More goal-oriented and decisive about what I happen to in my life. More charitable and generous not just with my friends, but to strangers and people in general. More grateful for the multitudes of blessings Jess has showered on me.

Because there are truly a lot of blessings—2008 has been a good good year for me so far. I’ve fulfilled a lot of lifelong dreams in albeit a short period of time. I went to Hong Kong and rekindled my second childhood in Disneyland. I launched successfully a new brand to an audience of 500 doctors, all top medical professionals, my biggest career feat so far. I was able to renew my US VISA for 10 years. And... I met someone great. I fell in love.. for real this time :-)

This is my first "official" relationship (friends who know me from back then would totally understand! haha!) After all the miscommunications, what-ifs, hopeless frustrated longing... I finally met someone I have prayed for all my life.

I've always known that I would end up with a friend. I just didn't realize it was going to be this friend. Haha! Jess really works in mysterious ways. And the way things happened as well wasn't really expected, from both our ends, and yet I wouldn't have had it any other way. At times, I think about my life and think that maybe this is all too good to be true. That this is all a dream. I've been so used to being single and independent and forever searching, that sometimes it surprises me when I realize I'm already with someone and that someone I can truly share my life with. I'm still adjusting to the dependency part, as I've been so used to solving things on my own and solving other people's problems as well.. so it's a nice feeling when I can be all damsel-in-distress and let him worry about things for a change. At times when he tells me he loves me and I'm beautiful and all those sweet nothings (mushy moments that would really make other people cringe! haha!), I'm so tempted to ask him back: "talaga??" "sigurado ka??" Which of course I don't say out loud anymore. Baka bawiin eh. haha. Classic case of insecurity, of reality still sinking in. Can you blame me though? I've been told that a million times (yak, buhatan ng bangko!) but I just rolled my eyes in disbelief. For the first time, I want to believe that it's real. And that all these are truly meant for me, for us.

I think of us now and I realize that he is truly my male version, in so many ways. There is a sound reason, a greater power behind our paths being meant to cross. My friends and my family ask me, why him, after all this time? Besides all the qualities that make him so endearing to me, in truth, he is a good man, inside and out.. which is a rarity nowadays. What I'm most proud of, is that we're both spiritually grounded, as I've met him through DAYS community, and we both feel strongly about our work as staffers and our faith in Jess. And what made him stand out.. is that he was the only one who took me, who took us seriously. He was someone who envisioned a future, and was willing to make it work despite our crazy lives and busy schedules. And I love him more for that.

And yet, there are still many things that are different between us... and yet the differences help me learn new things and keep things more interesting for us. I now understand the beauty of believing in God's will and in God's time.. for if I didn't go through being single all of my life, of having unrequited feelings, of being made to hope only to be let down, of loving and losing... I would not be able to appreciate deeply the blessing of having him and this relationship in my life now.

Like what he always says... he cannot ask for anything more. And yet I do. I pray continuously for more happy days and years... that we may grow in love and faith and learn to become better people, better dazers, better Christians. I pray that He will guide us continuously as we begin this new life together, and God-willing, for the rest of our lives...

Basta ikaw Mochie, mahal na mahal kita :-)

Tina and Gladys' Adventures in San Pablo

Tina and I went to San Pablo today to visit her friend's dad's wake in Laguna. We didn't exactly know the way going there but hey, we've always had these adventures anyway. Decided to bring the car na lang so we can catch up more and it would seem like a faster travel rather than taking a bus. So with phone calls and many kwentos abound, we were on our way.

We got lost... a lot! Took a "scenic" route to Batangas so we had about 4 hours of travel time... passing by ghost town of STAR toll, all the malls of Lipa, and then the neverending search for Max's (or "mac", as Paul would say it) to look for Paul's house. Thanks to Marty and Jayson for all the directions! Left at 5pm na though, so sinalubong na namin rush hour traffic... which meant another 4 hours back to manila! Sheesh! Kapoy mag-drive, pero all in the spirit of adventure. It was my first loooong drive anyway, so was glad to do it with Tins :-) Paul is hereby inducted though to our Bringer of Cheers circle. hehe. Till the next long drive... north nman tayo ha ;-)

On Andrew Gordon Mier

This past year, i've been hanging out a lot with old friends from AIESEC ADMU.. it's been quite the tradition to watch tagalog films with them... even the big summer flicks this june were weekly dates with these people. Movies, videoke, inuman, gimik. I never realized that we could all maintain this bond even after our org days are over, but I'm happy nevertheless because I know them much better now, not just as colleagues but as dear friends. I'm grateful too that they've "adopted" me somewhat, as I came from UPD and they're all Genuine Blue Alumni (as Drew would put it. Haha!).. good thing ADMU has always been nice to me :-)

With changes in work and school though, we haven't had the luxury of hanging out as often as we used to. But we've had our YM chats and constant texts to keep each other updated, especially in the love department. There's even an ongoing bet, that whoever "finds true love" first gets to treat the others at the buffet of our choice. For a while, everyone was assuming that I'd be the first to introduce someone to the gang, but it looks like Drew will be beating me to the finish line: he'll be bringing the girl over this weekend to meet us. 'Be nice', he warned us. Haha... we'll see Drew ;)

Part of me is really happy for him. He's been looking for the perfect girl for so long, and after so many false starts, I think this is it. I hope that this is it. Then again, a teensy weensy part is also wistful because I know that things won't be the same between us. The two of us became close anyway because we were both single this past year and we didn't have significant others to keep us "busy". Now, I feel like we won't be able to talk and watch movies and hang out as often as we used to because of course, his first priority will be the girlfriend. I've sort of "lost" an old friend already before because of a relationship, and this seems to be the same thing all over again. Of course we'd still be friends... yada yada... but we both know how things will be from now on. Oh well, that's life I guess. It's just sad saying goodbye to things you got used to, but change is always part of life and that's one thing we have to always keep adjusting to. Anyway, Drew's used to me being all dramatic on him at wee hours of the night... so nothing really new. Except he's the one praning now about his new relationship, keeping me updated with his midnight rendezvous at 3am. Haha!

So sans the senti mode... I still raise my glass to Drew: may this girl finally make all your dreams come true... and may we all have a grand time at Spiral! Cheers!