"Life may not be replete with the moments that pause your soul, the vivid memories of which cause your heart to beat differently, or make it hard to swallow. And all the better. Much of the beauty of those moments lies in their rarity -- in the awe of being in the right place, at the right time, a partaker in coincidence. And in finding a reason to believe in fate..."

Monday, August 22, 2005

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (?)

Last week was a reunion of sorts. Met up with old friends in AIESEC whom I haven't seen for the longest time (thank God for neverending welcome dinners and stammtisches!). And as expected, usual topics for small talk involve current relationship status... to which I automatically answer "same old, same old".

Thing is, most of us are still single, and only a few people has even the tiniest spark of change in our love lives. Maybe we have already been trained by AIESEC to put work first before everything else, or lest we really have no other social lives besides those friday night dinners. Other than that, I really can't quite put my finger into it... why no one else (besides our lonesome selves) consider our company equally interesting to pursue...

For me and Marc at least, we realized that it's a case of not letting the past go. We're still hung up on people we (think we) are in love with... even if we don't see them quite often. I don't see my guy as often as I wanted to, but we do talk more on the phone these days. Sometimes I even find myself making up excuses just to meet with him (talk about pathetic no?), and I'm getting pretty tired. How long do I have to wait? How long before he realizes that the two of us might perhaps have a flicker of a chance of working out as a couple? How long before I open my eyes to the greater possibility that maybe, just maybe, he's not really that into me and all we are are merely really really really good friends?

How do you stay friends with someone you're in love with?

I look back at my decade-long infatuation with a certain childhood friend, whom I was able to forget only after finding another soul to fantasize upon (this being my current inspiration). I sigh, because I don't want to go through another decade of having unrequited feelings forever. Frankly, it's getting boring and predictable. Thing is, I really can't let go of him, of this. Out of sight, out of mind they say... so I guess I should stay away more, huh? That's my cure?

If only I can stand to be out of touch for more than a month, which is my quota so far... I'll be out of the woods in no time... free as a bird Ü