That's Life

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Lately I've been really really tired. No matter how many hours I sleep it off or how many massages I get to try to rejuvenate, I still feel this inexplainable exhaustion. Good thing I'm hoarding off all the vitamins I can get from the office. Haha!

I've been feeling this way for about two months already. But with the workload and the events happening one on top of the other, the stress is finally taking its toll on me. This is not just merely feeling physically tired... i think I'm emotionally, spiritually fatigued as well.

It's not that I don't love my job. Well, it's a love-and-hate relationship on most days. Sometimes, I do think about "greener pastures", but I know deep inside that what I've got is something worth keeping already. It's just that sometimes, the work keeps piling up. The image you see on commercials, with employees drowning in mountains of paperwork, apparently that's so true in real life! I'm amazed at the speed at which papers and documents and tasks to do pile up, especially if we're gone from our cubes for two weeks because of conventions. And it takes me until midnight sometimes just to get to half of those papers! Aaaaaaargh!!!

The question that people ask (and seem to assume) is if we're compensated enough for this crazy, hectic life. I would've answered, ok lang. It's enough to pay the bills and something a little extra but I still need to work my ass more to get those incentives so I can really plan for my future. The benefits are better though, especially for those extending to my family, so I can't complain on that aspect. Plus, the people are really really nice... it's almost impossible to find co-workers and bosses who do trust in your ability, sincerely mentor and coach you, and treat you like a normal human being.

Bottom line though, am I happy? Is this the kind of life that I want? Because no matter what we say, whatever happens, the level of stress we tolerate is exactly the same level that we accept to tolerate. It's a conscious decision to be happy.

It's a question I've been asking myself each and every day. So far, I think I'll take it a few more months, even years, to finally answer that question. For now, I'll learn everything I could, and enjoy the company of my office friends as much as I can... one day at a time ;)