It Hurts To Be Smart

Failure has always been my nemesis. But with accepting failure comes the wisdom of not repeating the same mistake twice, of getting up and striving to pick up the pieces, of moving on...

'Tis the hard lesson I learned. I deluded myself thinking that I could change things, that I could change him. I accepted the situation knowing fully well what was expected and what can only be given, nothing more nothing less. But I was a bigger fool to hope that I could be the girl who can change his ways. I should have listened to my instincts and opened my eyes more to the signs that were right in front of me. I couldn't wait for him forever, the truth gnawing in the pit of my stomach that this was all he ever wanted. And that I was just another willing pawn in his game..

I should have ended it way before, to save me from the hurt and to save him from the hassle. It's the right thing to do.. I know, I know. But now that I have, part of me wants it all back. Wants all of him back. Because at this moment, i don't want to be smart. It hurts to be smart. It sucks to be smart. I just want him. He's moved on though, and I'm still left dreaming for both of us. Maybe I'll just keep on dreaming till Christmas, or till I don't have as much emo moments, thinking of the what-ifs and the what-might-have beens like this anymore..