What Ifs

I had a surprise visit from an old ghost recently. At first I was hesitant to answer the rather vague SMS, lest I open again old wounds. But then again, past is past, and so are we, so no harm in engaging in a friendly chat. I was actually sincerely curious to know how he is and what he has been up to all this time.

Turns out he found a job at last. I'm truly proud and happy for him, that he's finding direction and something productive to do finally. It was one of the reasons why our ways parted before, and I'm grateful he at least told me about his new life. For a brief while we were back to our old selves, and I'm reminded of the reasons why he has the uncanny ability to make me smile amidst the stress of my everyday world. For those brief exchanges I'm left to wonder what our lives would have been had our decision been swayed otherwise. For that brief slip of sanity I almost willingly forgot what happened, and flooded my memories with all that was good between us instead. Come to think of it, I still remember vividly what I felt that D-day, but not how I felt anymore. And though the dreams and the hopes remain sweet, I know in my heart and in my mind that despite the occasional longing, he and I are truly in a better place.

Life is funny that way. It makes you think of other possible worlds, other lives you could have led. And you realize that what you have, right now, is not just the result of choices you made but also the fulfillment of a greater purpose. And if given the choice, you still would not have had it otherwise. I know I wouldn't ;-)