A Broken Vow

After several months of not having any news about him, I broke my promise to myself by starting a conversation, again. A random joke turned into a whole day's worth of talk--from my upcoming trip to Bohol, to his Binggo raffle project, to "kandungans" and plane rides, to our travels and our longing to see Pagudpod (for cheaper rates!), to Eheads, to our jamming sessions, to guitar and piano lessons, to his bands, to our work and lives in general...


I won't deny that even the silliest talks with him always bring a certain smile and tug to my heart. I've really missed him so, and for a few hours, he really has made me happy. But when talks came to how we'd see each other, i mean, really see each other, our conversations waned to awkward small talk. It's a depressing cycle, and one that I wanted to end long ago, if only I had the discipline to stay away and keep my promise...


For anything else, I've already found what I'm looking for in him. But there's no commitment--what do I do with mere MUs? I'm tired. I'm tired of flings. I'm tired of dating aimlessly. I want to start something serious with someone who will treat me seriously. And unless he really makes the grand gesture of finally going to Manila to see me, and not just saying he wishes to see me all the time, that's the only way I'll take him seriously as well... Until then, I'm just his "girl from Manila", and he's "my guy from.. somewhere out there..."


The only problem is, I'm already tired of waiting for him to take me, to take us, seriously. How long do I have to wait? All my life, I've always been waiting. Maybe it's time for me to move on. I can't be friends with him anymore, because being friends really hurt. Because I'll always be wanting something more... I always had, even before we started this thing, even before he started to give me a little bit of attention. Long Distance Sucks. It's either he's in all the way or he's not.


I wish it was just as simple as that. I wish the next time he calls or texts, i can just turn off my feelings, just like that. But I can't. I still can't.


God help me.

Last Words on Proclamation 1017

As GMA currently lifts the Proclamation that has turned this nation upside down, here are just a few thoughts, a unique voice apart from the shouts on the streets we're already familiar with, or from the angry banters we hear from politicians left and right... words that may be few but those I strongly believe and agree with:


"... Arroyo should win the support of the military, purge disloyal officers ala Stalin, and start clamping down on the political chaos that has really shackled our country from progress. Sometimes I feel like Filipinos enjoy too much freedom, and very little discipline. It is almostlike anarchy, and we need less freedoms for the sake of stability. There is always a tradeoff between personal freedom and state power. I think there is too much of the former and way to little of the latter. We have shown that as a people, we do not exercise our freedom responsibly."
-- from a concerned PEXer


Amen to that.

My Renaissance Guy

Caught up with a friend I was doing business with (before, when I was still with Naturale) for a final errand delivery. What was supposed to be just a drop-off of stickers turned out to be a really good talk about business and life in general, which was quite expected whenever he and I would ask politely about each other's day. It was even a bigger surprise to know that he was only a batch higher from me in UPBA, and that maybe we'd already seen each other in the halls and we just didn't know it. He says I look familiar, that he's certain of seeing me before during student council meetings. I can't quite place him, but we do know common friends, and common BA gossip! Haha! Amazingly, I just found out he's in a band (when he's not busy with work) and they're releasing an album soon... I've always been a sucker for guitar guys ever since Jason Mraz, and this just puts the icing on the cake! *sigh*


He's one of the few people I really respect and admire. He's sincerely nice, and he makes the wisest business suggestions without making you feel stupid nor brusahed aside. By his lifestyle and beliefs, he strengthens my passion for entrepreneurship and in always standing out no matter what I do. Love what you do and do what you love, so to speak. Ang galing nya, at natutuwa talaga ako sa magagaling na tao. I didn't know why I didn't say goodbye officially, as I planned to do. I guess a part of me still wished that our paths would again cross someday, maybe not necessarily in BA and Naturale.


Wish you all the best Kelvin! Thanks for the friendship, the words of wisdom and the inspiration. See you soon! :-)

I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time, with all your good time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now, and I'm alone and free


I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right


As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me


I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay


I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found myself always thinking of you


As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me


Oh, no matter what I do
It's just a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I'll ever love


And as long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me
I'll never get over you
Getting over
Never get over you getting over
I'll never get over you...getting over me

Signing Off..

...farewell videoke party...

Last shout-outs from Dennis:

Dianne, I didn't know you could be so senti. I'll miss your tambutso-like personality...
Coni, next time magsama ka naman kapag mag-disappear ka para masaya. I'll miss your wonderfully crazy ideas...
Gladys, i'll always wash my hands off whatever awakenings this job has brought you. I'll miss the security and safety knowing Kim Bauer is around...
Cris, don't reply to this email baka hingin ko pa ulit ang transcript mo (JOKE... ay written pala to kaya pwede). I'll miss the love team in the office...

Goodluck people on your next endeavors. I'm sure you'll do very very well. Basta whatever it is make sure you challenge the status quo and kick ass! Magtatampo ako if you do not visit the office every now and then (make sure may dala kayong food at Yakult!).

I'll sign you off from the egroups and emails this weekend.

Thanks for the moments!

Dennis


Shet... *tears tears*... I'll miss the war room (as of today, it's being constructed into another meeting room... definitely something more dreary and officey) and the people that comes with it... the laughter and tears, the stress, the chikas, the crazy moments, the videoke moments...Thanks to everyone for making it a very memorable two years. I'll drop by the playroom next time. Will promise to bring more Cheez It and Yakult and Yakisoba!

Signing Out... Gladys Judan, former Intrapreneur....