Went to get Julius' college app form at DLSU. As agreed on months before, Allan went also to accompany me on the trip, not just to get the documents (that was both our excuse for meeting anyway) but to give me the grand tour of LaSalle, and to treat me out to lunch.. both of which were long-overdue promises...
The grand tour was really what it was: a grand tour! We literally went in every building, I learned all the acronyms there is to know (CC, SJ, LS, Z2...), but it was definitely fun. We laughed a lot, hysterical even. I've never seen him joke around that much, and I really had a great time. He was such a gentleman, treating me to a wonderful lunch at La Pacita (might probably get them for catering in the future) always opening doors for me, introducing me to his old frinds whom we met during the tour.... even rescuing me from an old man on the street who had didn't have the best (nor cleanest) intentions--speaking from a girl's perspective....
Was really happy to see him (even if I forgot his gift from vietnam and my hair clips... super hot day!), but deep inside, like I've always known... I'm now totally convinced of the truth: we're really not meant to be. Though he's really nice and friendly and accommodating, and while I truly appreciate his effort to spend the whole day in DLSU for me... there were no sparks. All it was were two old friends catching up and hanging out. Which may not be so bad after all. Still many many many thanks to Allan for an unforgettable day at DLSU! Time will only tell when I can really let go though, but at least I'm getting there... ;-)
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Scheduled dinner with Tina tonight after ten million years of not seeing each other! After a few minutes of stories and catching up, Dad calls me and tells me we have to go earlier than expected. Bummer! And he calls again telling me that he'll just pick me up, which he did, but since we were still getting the bill, we were late in getting outside the door.... triggering again his notorious temper. I can't believe he was so pissed off and cursing me with my "insensitiveness" and "stupidity" within Tina's presence! I was so embarrassed and humiliated and angry at the same time!
It was so unfair! why do I feel like such a brat whenever my parents are around? It's like I can't even get off their shadow... even if I say I'll jsut commute home, they won't let me because it's too late. And they blame me for making my dad stay out late also because of my evening commitments. It fells like a trap... I can't work at night nor have night socials with colleagues (which is semi-required.. pakikisama sa office) because of my Dad! I wish I could just grow up and be independent for once...
And I've enver felt so unappreciated as last night.. when I came home with GO Nuts, Shawarma, Chinese food takeout, Halfmoon for pasalubong (my salary day blow-out)... nobody even bothered to say thanks.. they just continued being pissed off at me! I couldn't do anything about it. I was so mad and frustrated at the same time, I just slept it all off... hence, I was already asleep by 9pm...
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Maybe what they really say is true.. sometimes, you can experience being on the upside and downside all at the same time. I sure felt both yesterday... and though I'm typing relentlessly to cool off and try to explain what just happened, I feel I can't. All I know is that life still goes on, and that's just the way things are... better for me to just accept it and move on to more pressing matters (like my reports due! my new sunblock project!) than dwell on it further...
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