A Broken Vow

After several months of not having any news about him, I broke my promise to myself by starting a conversation, again. A random joke turned into a whole day's worth of talk--from my upcoming trip to Bohol, to his Binggo raffle project, to "kandungans" and plane rides, to our travels and our longing to see Pagudpod (for cheaper rates!), to Eheads, to our jamming sessions, to guitar and piano lessons, to his bands, to our work and lives in general...


I won't deny that even the silliest talks with him always bring a certain smile and tug to my heart. I've really missed him so, and for a few hours, he really has made me happy. But when talks came to how we'd see each other, i mean, really see each other, our conversations waned to awkward small talk. It's a depressing cycle, and one that I wanted to end long ago, if only I had the discipline to stay away and keep my promise...


For anything else, I've already found what I'm looking for in him. But there's no commitment--what do I do with mere MUs? I'm tired. I'm tired of flings. I'm tired of dating aimlessly. I want to start something serious with someone who will treat me seriously. And unless he really makes the grand gesture of finally going to Manila to see me, and not just saying he wishes to see me all the time, that's the only way I'll take him seriously as well... Until then, I'm just his "girl from Manila", and he's "my guy from.. somewhere out there..."


The only problem is, I'm already tired of waiting for him to take me, to take us, seriously. How long do I have to wait? All my life, I've always been waiting. Maybe it's time for me to move on. I can't be friends with him anymore, because being friends really hurt. Because I'll always be wanting something more... I always had, even before we started this thing, even before he started to give me a little bit of attention. Long Distance Sucks. It's either he's in all the way or he's not.


I wish it was just as simple as that. I wish the next time he calls or texts, i can just turn off my feelings, just like that. But I can't. I still can't.


God help me.

Last Words on Proclamation 1017

As GMA currently lifts the Proclamation that has turned this nation upside down, here are just a few thoughts, a unique voice apart from the shouts on the streets we're already familiar with, or from the angry banters we hear from politicians left and right... words that may be few but those I strongly believe and agree with:


"... Arroyo should win the support of the military, purge disloyal officers ala Stalin, and start clamping down on the political chaos that has really shackled our country from progress. Sometimes I feel like Filipinos enjoy too much freedom, and very little discipline. It is almostlike anarchy, and we need less freedoms for the sake of stability. There is always a tradeoff between personal freedom and state power. I think there is too much of the former and way to little of the latter. We have shown that as a people, we do not exercise our freedom responsibly."
-- from a concerned PEXer


Amen to that.

My Renaissance Guy

Caught up with a friend I was doing business with (before, when I was still with Naturale) for a final errand delivery. What was supposed to be just a drop-off of stickers turned out to be a really good talk about business and life in general, which was quite expected whenever he and I would ask politely about each other's day. It was even a bigger surprise to know that he was only a batch higher from me in UPBA, and that maybe we'd already seen each other in the halls and we just didn't know it. He says I look familiar, that he's certain of seeing me before during student council meetings. I can't quite place him, but we do know common friends, and common BA gossip! Haha! Amazingly, I just found out he's in a band (when he's not busy with work) and they're releasing an album soon... I've always been a sucker for guitar guys ever since Jason Mraz, and this just puts the icing on the cake! *sigh*


He's one of the few people I really respect and admire. He's sincerely nice, and he makes the wisest business suggestions without making you feel stupid nor brusahed aside. By his lifestyle and beliefs, he strengthens my passion for entrepreneurship and in always standing out no matter what I do. Love what you do and do what you love, so to speak. Ang galing nya, at natutuwa talaga ako sa magagaling na tao. I didn't know why I didn't say goodbye officially, as I planned to do. I guess a part of me still wished that our paths would again cross someday, maybe not necessarily in BA and Naturale.


Wish you all the best Kelvin! Thanks for the friendship, the words of wisdom and the inspiration. See you soon! :-)

I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time, with all your good time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now, and I'm alone and free


I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right


As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me


I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay


I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found myself always thinking of you


As long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me


Oh, no matter what I do
It's just a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I'll ever love


And as long as the star shines down from the heavens
Long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you
Getting over me
I'll never get over you
Getting over
Never get over you getting over
I'll never get over you...getting over me

Signing Off..

...farewell videoke party...

Last shout-outs from Dennis:

Dianne, I didn't know you could be so senti. I'll miss your tambutso-like personality...
Coni, next time magsama ka naman kapag mag-disappear ka para masaya. I'll miss your wonderfully crazy ideas...
Gladys, i'll always wash my hands off whatever awakenings this job has brought you. I'll miss the security and safety knowing Kim Bauer is around...
Cris, don't reply to this email baka hingin ko pa ulit ang transcript mo (JOKE... ay written pala to kaya pwede). I'll miss the love team in the office...

Goodluck people on your next endeavors. I'm sure you'll do very very well. Basta whatever it is make sure you challenge the status quo and kick ass! Magtatampo ako if you do not visit the office every now and then (make sure may dala kayong food at Yakult!).

I'll sign you off from the egroups and emails this weekend.

Thanks for the moments!

Dennis


Shet... *tears tears*... I'll miss the war room (as of today, it's being constructed into another meeting room... definitely something more dreary and officey) and the people that comes with it... the laughter and tears, the stress, the chikas, the crazy moments, the videoke moments...Thanks to everyone for making it a very memorable two years. I'll drop by the playroom next time. Will promise to bring more Cheez It and Yakult and Yakisoba!

Signing Out... Gladys Judan, former Intrapreneur....

Zsazsa Zaturnnah-(huh!)

Zsazsa Zaturnnah's one of the funnest and funniest plays I've seen for a long time! It was a good homecoming for me at CCP since Miss Saigon. I'm a big fan of Ricci Chan and Agot Isidro whom I've seen in previous plays already, and I was curious to see Eula perform as well in her first ever musical stint.


I was re-acquainted into the world of Camp (read=gay lingo) which was always interesting to learn. Never knew that Eula could sing that well, and she really sounded gay (which for her role is a good thing!), while Agot and Ricci gave stellar performances, as expected. Ada was a professor pala, which explains the hordes of fans who were his students from Miriam. Dodong was a surprise too; apparently, he's already a composer and a MetroPop veteran. Three hours was just enough (I couldn't believe we laughed that long!) for the whole plot to unfold and for the punch lines to be delivered at just the right time. Kudos to the creative sets and props, and to the spandex costumes (definitely time space warp-ish!) Too bad the ushers were poorly confused (which was very unfortunate for CCP's reputation) and our seats were quite cramped--at second half, my right flip-flop accidentally fell at the bottom of the bleachers, which I could only crawl to get after the show was over! Cripes!


Waited for our happy food (banana split galore!) at Iceberg's while debating whether we should go back and finish our autograph signing. Good thing Eda was with me, my very own "Amazonistah" who made first dibs with Ricci, Agot, Eula, Wilma and Arnold a.k.a. Dodong (Ang Superstar ng Buhay Ko ay Ikaw! Cheesiness!). I just followed suit and smiled stupidly along… I was still definitely starstruck! Too bad I wasn't able to talk more with Carl the Priest, whom I shared smiles with during intermission and after the play (yep, cheesy kilig moment part two!). Definitely the most fun backstage adventures I've ever had!



I definitely recommend everyone to watch this play, if only there were tickets left. Last I heard the play is already sold out until the end of the season (we ourselves got tickets from a fixer!). This play goes out to all Amazonistahs out there: Go get your "mahiwagang bato", be superheroes and fall in love with your own Dodong's along the way...;-) Carpe Diem!

WWE Raw Live Tour in Manila!

Big Show, Big Crowd at the Big Dome!

After lifetimes of longing and wishful thinking, Julius and I were finally able to catch the WWE Raw Live Tour in Manila! The Stars came over here for a two-night show and Araneta was really jampacked! It was a dream come true for Julius, who's always been a fan. I guess in a certain way, it's always been my dream too, even if my generation still idolized Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart (and even believed Ultimate Warrior's fatal exit from the show!) We got tickets only in the Upper Box Arena, but it wasn't too bad... thanks to zoom lens of my DSC-T5. I was "hired" as official photographer for the night! Harhar!

On the other side though, the event almost didn't push through, as there was a "state of national emergency" declared by GMA. Everyone feared it was almost marital law, as politicians and rallyists were arrested on the streets. It was pretty scary; at a press release, the wrestlers admitted that they were scared too! Good thing that even the biggest rallies couldn't stop fans from going! We did scream our lungs out that night: "Steel Chair! Steel Chair!" The girls beside me screamed louder... I never felt greater adrenaline rush with that many people before!

Thanks to Julius for bringing me, and for letting me see Triple H, Mick Foley, Big Show and Cena! Even if I don't get to watch the show as often now, the Tour made me realize I'm still a fan, and I'd always be a screaming fan for them. Our Php500 bucks apiece souvenir shirts will prove that! Steep Man! But everything was definitely worth it!!!

About that Choir Guy...

After a long long time, I'm finally Inspired again :-)


Met someone from DAYS who was truly quite a character - He's a playwright / theater director who has one of the most wonderful voices I've heard. He was the one who taught me all those Days Songs, and I owe him much gratitude for that. If it weren't for him, I don't think I'll be able to join the choir, let alone do duets with him... My heart still skips a beat whenever he compliments my voice, like a proud mentor. What can I say... inspired nga talaga...


He loves UP as much as I do, loves menthol lights (my kinda guy!) and he was the first one out of all my friends from DAYS who asked me about my work, and who remembered what exactly I do for a living, and not just to make small talk. I'm glad I went with him to McDo instead of going with the group to Something Fishy. Talks about social-consciousness, politics, philosophy... to manghuhulas and UP fairs and concerts... to love and those feelings in between. That was one of the best conversations I've ever had - so good that we slept around 4am already not because we were tired nor running out of things to say, but that he just really had to prepare already for another session he was facilitating in a few hours...


Too bad he's still quite in love with a ghost from his past. His was quite the love story... a courtship complete with the theatrical staging and yep, all that drama. Kiniklilig pa rin ako just remembering about it. But like all great love stories, his did not end happily. And sadly, I think I was able to make him realize that whatever happens, he still would hold that girl in a pedestal, and no other can measure up to his "goddess".


Yup, he's definitely complicated (he admitted so himself), and he does have high standards. I'm not too blind to know that I won't have that chance to really be with him, but surprisingly I'm not too sad about that. I don't think I'll be able to make him happy anyway. (and this is definitely not bitterness talking!) I guess it's enough for me to spend time and see him at DAYS... admiring silently from afar. For now, it's enough to make me smile everyday, knowing that somewhere out there is a guy who really really has a strong faith and has so much passion for life (and is not gay!)... someone I can sing with again, till the next DAYS... :-)

Close to You

I watched Close to You twice--on Opening Day with my Intra girls (as my farewell gig), and the second time with my mom, who was convinced to watch after she heard me rave about it.


Story was quite simple: girl saves boy's life, boy befriends girl, boy falls in love with girl best friend, girl stalks another guy, boy gets jealous but follows her friend along, girl gets guy crush but realizes she's fallen in love with boy, girl confronts boy, boy asks girl to think things over, girl chooses boy, boy and girl live happily ever after...


The dialogue was witty and modern. John Lloyd's sarcastic humor was such a refreshing change (Para kayong Justice League! Harhar!) But I have to agree with Eda though that the way the writers developed the friends turning into lovers angle was so true to the real world. It was not cliche, hollywood movie-ish at all, and that made the characters and the whole film more poignant and endearing in the end...


Definitely the Valentine Movie Date this year! Go watch with your single girlfriends and with your guy best friend *wink wink* :-)

V-Day

Today was like any other. Except that I got a really big box of expensive chocs from my parents... and that there was a pseudo-arts-and-crafts at the war room today as we filled the room with cut-out pink hearts (cheesy, i know)... and that there were lovey-dovey forwarded quotes from friends who have always remembered...


It's the little things, and the constant love of my family and friends that really mattered. They made me forget, even for a few moments, that there were no bouquets of flowers (which has always been a dream), nor texts from that special someone, nor an invitation out for a date...


I guess those are not that important anymore... well, just for today. There's always next year right?


Happy Hearts' Day Everyone! :-)

Officially Resigned

Today, I officially handed in my resignation as Intrapreneur for Felina and Beach Hut.

It's been such an emotional roller coaster, the whole day and the (almost) two years that I've spent with Naturale Labs. I cried, I laughed, I heaved a sigh of relief. It's almost like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders, yet at the same time, I feel like I'm losing a big part of myself and I don't know where to find it.

Good thing I had my family and my friends to keep me sane and tell me everything's going to be alright. Thanks to Motherhood and Batas, for still being willing to support me financially despite this now soul-searching phase that I have. Thanks to Eda whom I woke up late last night, but who has always been standing by my side during these insane crazy months (I will get myself SUN load soon promise!). Thanks to Marc for the fortune cookie comfort food, for always being rational, and for the big hug. Thanks to my girls, Cris, Dianne and Coni for the coffee after, for understanding and still wishing my knees well despite my neverending adventures to Caloocan and beyond.

I have the vaguest idea what to do now. All I know is that I have to get well, physically and emotionally. Move on, but never forget the wonderful lessons and the great experience this work has taught me. Lest I forget, thanks to Dennis for being my mentor, for teaching me about life, and for being a good friend. I couldn't have asked for a better boss... you will always be my "purple cow"... :-)

Happy Birthday! :-)

Although I was not able to go to Tagaytay (my birthday wish), this year's birthday celebration for moi is still quite memorable. I had three birthday cakes (my purple ube "best enjoyed before" cake from Intras, my jumongous brownie from Eda @ Kulinarya, and my personalized vanilla ice cream from Italiannis, complete with lapdance moves from Mike!). That means more birthday wishes! Yay! Got to eat all my favorite food as well: pasta, salad and cake galore from my favorite Italian guys--Don Hen's, Chef D' Angelo's and Italiannis! Yumyum!


I think what made it more special were the people who remembered my day, even if I don't get to talk or catch up with them as often as I wanted to. There were a couple of text messages, and birthday cards, which really made my heart smile and laugh as well. All in all, I was really happy even if it was a work-filled day. Thank you for sending all your love…Much love to you guys as well!


Thanks to God for another year, for new hope, new experiences and new opportunities to touch more lives and discover more about myself and life...


Afterthought: Eda and I will be celebrating our 10th year Anniversary this May (a few weeks earlier than our exact date in June), at Nurture Spa and Sonya’s B&B. Guess I’m going to get my birthday wish after all! God really works in miraculous ways... :-)

Geek in the Pink: Jason Mraz Live!

I was never a really really big fan, but I enjoyed his music so I decided to go with Eda. Besides, what better way to have an early birthday celebration than to enjoy good music with your best friend (whom surprisingly I've never been with to a legit concert before! Gary V does not count!) and a really cute guy in guitars?

Never expected it to be so much fun! Thanks to Eda for getting us really really good seats at the Rockwell Tent! Jason was surprisingly witty (I love guitar guys with sarcastic humor!) and so adorable. He and Paolo Santos performed really well, and though I was not able to really memorize all the songs despite the never ending looped Jason Playlist at the War Room, I was the content fan waving my lighter to You and I, The Remedy and Wordplay.



Felt like a couple of giggly highschoolers who stalked Jason at the backstage. Even if we were unsuccessful in getting his autograph, just waving goodbye to him made us still smile stupidly (pathetic, I know). What can I say, we were defenseless against his charms! Can't wait to catch his next concert in Manila (which is turning out to be an annual tradition I heard!) Cheers to the Geek in the Pink! :-)

New Year, New Resolutions

Yup, it's my year! Officially the YEAR OF THE DOG! And to kick things off, here's my own "list" (drumroll please...):


Things I Want to Happen for 2006:
1. Get a Drivers' License!!!
2. Learn Ilocano and Spanish.
3. Learn to play guitar.
4. Learn how to cook.
5. Develop a new sport (still deciding between Chess and Swimming)
6. Travel to an Asian Country (Bangkok or HK... depends on the fare and rates! Sayang ang miles...)
7. Learn Photoshop
8. Watch a concert, game and play
9. Keep all doctor appointments with Dr. Sese
10. Invest money wisely (probably in time deposit)
11. Get a new cellphone!


On a more personal note, I resolve to:
1. Never say anything bad about others (or at least minimize them...)
2. Fulfill all promises (that includes being on time!)
3. Pray and reflect more.
4. Procrastinate less.
5. Personal makeover! Fix self, room, workspace more...


Let's see how many I can tick off as DONE by the end of the year!

Hiatus!

Been a long time since I last wrote in here... well, new year, new skin! Will try to do multiple blogs for the meantime. Hehe :-)

Find Your Favorite: The Starbucks Coffee Planner 2006

After 21 crème brulees and peppermint hot chocolates (among many others), I finally claimed my Starbucks Planner at Starbucks Petron Station, North Expressway (yep, we were on our way to Bulacan and Nueva Ecija then). Too bad my friend Jonjon was not there with his usual perky smile and warm hugs, but thanks still to baristas Ren and Lea who made me feel welcome during my stay at the store.

A lot of people have said that buying that much coffee does not compensate for just a planner. But for the collector in me, it was the process in itself that I cherished. I did play Santa (as their ads suggested), as around half of my precious stickers were through freebies I gave out to family and friends. It felt good to treat them to Starbucks, because it gave me a chance to catch up with them—what’s going on in their lives at the moment, how they’ll be spending Christmas--a welcome escape from our usually hectic work schedules.

This year though, the planner itself was indeed worth it! The whole thing works as a journal in itself, encouraging the owner to write not only appointment schedules, but their most intimate thoughts as well. That’s convenient for me since my 2005 Starbucks planner was more of my diary than a planner anyway (the first one that I actually finished after millions of required homework and online journals!) Each month features a flavored drink (which is actually cool because I get to learn the Starbucks lingo a little bit more) weaved into a blog-inspired entry. The GCs are a plus to help you find your favorite Starbucks concoction—something that actually inspires you to pursue life’s choices and make each experience as personal and memorable as possible. Wow… I never appreciated poetry until now. And I didn’t know that there were so so much more coffee variants to choose from… so much more to get you hooked into the Starbucks Coffee Culture! I know I’m now a full-fledged convert!

As for my drink… I’m still torn between a venti green tea frappucinno with extra whipped cream, a grande hazelnut caramel affogato, or just a good old white chocolate mocha with a ham and cheese croissant… gotta go find my favorite! 

The Company of Fools @ the Metro Bar!

Company of Fools @ Metro Bar

Finished my last event for the year-- sponsorship at The Metro Bar for the Company of Fools concert! Was really down with fever last night, but a they say, the show really must go on. So take pictures I did (thanks to my new sony cam!) while samples were given away to the events' audiences... Too bad I was only able to catch the opening song for the Company (I'm a fan pa nman!), but I really had to rest as the flu was really starting to affect me alte into the night


The Company! :-)

Thanks to Les, Dick, Dessy, Dianne and Cris for helping out! I wouldn't have survived the night without you guys...Hope you enjoyed the concert as well :-)


with Cris and Dianne :-)

Carabiners! Carabiners! Carabiners!

Carabiners!

The Carabiners are finally here!!!

After months of sourcing out a Chinese supplier, negotiating for colors, wire payment transfers, dealing with customs and brokers, deliveries to warehouse and plant... I finally have in our hands 60,000 carabiners (figuratively of course!).

It's a nice way to end the year, work-wise. I was quite afraid that we would not be able to see those cartons until next year, good thing it pushed through this week still. Importation was quite an interesting experience--there's so much I have learned about this industry for the past months. Thanks to Tito William for being patient with all my seemingly stupid questions, and for mentoring me about the tricks of the trade. I hope I can learn about export really soon as well--can't wait to ship Felinas out to Vietnam! :-)

Lost and Found (Returned)!

Was about to actually create an entry to warn friends to take better care of their phones.. as a couple of my friends had their own mobiles lost or snatched in public places, even in broad daylight... when I myself experienced the same thing!

I was on my way from the bank to see my dermatologist, when I realized that I left my phone in the trike! All color drained from my face, as I struggled for a minute on what I should do. I left the derma clinic immediately and took another ride to the tricycle terminal, waiting desperately for the driver to return. Surprisingly, this was the first time that I rode a tricycle without taking note of the body number and driver's name, as I have always been trained to do. Good thing my mom was able to contact him and he promised to return my phone. I gave him an extra jacket and 500 in gratitude.. I was really thankful to have my phone back.

There are not too many good men out there who would have returned lost cell phones... as they say, times are hard and I know he could have sold it somewhere. But I really am grateful and lucky I guess... I hope my friends have had the same fate. Not that I wish them to lose their phones, but that if ever misfortunes strike that their belongings would be misplaced or left somewhere, that they should also be lucky to find a good-hearted person who will still return them :-)

Big Winner Nene!

Congrats Nene!

Congrats to Nene for being the first Big Winner!

After 110 days, the show we have religiously followed is now over. Congrats to Nene (who was my bet, same as Jason) for winning the hearts (and text votes obviously) of 500,000++ Filipinos. I know that she will use the money well, as she is really quite smart. I actually like her, most of her qualitites and values I really admire and hope that I can also emulate--leadership, independence, optimism. I just hope she doesn't let her mother abuse her newfound fame and fortune (yup I can feel that vibe... too bad)

On to the re-runs, reunions and DVD versions then. Congrats to PBB and Direk Laurenti Dyogi for a great first season!