All-time overabused topic of conversation: my nonexistent love life! As a girl (my excuse!), everything about this particular aspect of my life has already been dissected too many times, each time as confusing even painful than the last one. Of course, discussion wouldn’t have been this colorful without the inputs every so often by good friends, and even a few of those "objects of affections" (those fortunate-- or unfortunate, depends on how you look at it--enough to know a little more about lil 'ol me). Which brings me to think about why I'm still this "single white female"--wandering aimlessly, trying to keep busy with everything and everyone else, but yep, still single just the same..
Lately, I've always let my mind wander into the what-ifs... a dangerous thing to do, especially if you're daydreaming of something to happen from nothing... from scratch, since you finally have a "lead" with someone. In my case, it's "two" someone's... at least one of them would have some good news to bring right? Wrong. Lessons in pre-school... golden rule: don't count chickens before they hatch. (or is it eggs? eggs before chicken? chicken before eggs? hell, that's another debate altogether!)
It's a vicious cycle--the story of my life: guy not like-able at all starts to date me, girl starts to like guy, guy disappears, girl now "confused single white female"... i hate this. Have to stop addiction to bad guys who treat me like sh-t. Sick and tired already .. and helpless...and lonely...
I do think about the good things.. my friends, my work, my family... everything else God has blessed me with keeps me happy and distracted. But nights like this, when I'm alone trying to work and blog at the same time.. can't help but wonder... am I bound to be "single" for good? Am I ready to just let fate decide my path and leave everything to chance? Am I willing to let go of the "search"--of the people I've hold on to for the past "hundred" years or so? Am I willing to just embrace singlehood for now and love others and myself more? Hmmmm...I guess so... Ü
Lately, I've always let my mind wander into the what-ifs... a dangerous thing to do, especially if you're daydreaming of something to happen from nothing... from scratch, since you finally have a "lead" with someone. In my case, it's "two" someone's... at least one of them would have some good news to bring right? Wrong. Lessons in pre-school... golden rule: don't count chickens before they hatch. (or is it eggs? eggs before chicken? chicken before eggs? hell, that's another debate altogether!)
It's a vicious cycle--the story of my life: guy not like-able at all starts to date me, girl starts to like guy, guy disappears, girl now "confused single white female"... i hate this. Have to stop addiction to bad guys who treat me like sh-t. Sick and tired already .. and helpless...and lonely...
I do think about the good things.. my friends, my work, my family... everything else God has blessed me with keeps me happy and distracted. But nights like this, when I'm alone trying to work and blog at the same time.. can't help but wonder... am I bound to be "single" for good? Am I ready to just let fate decide my path and leave everything to chance? Am I willing to let go of the "search"--of the people I've hold on to for the past "hundred" years or so? Am I willing to just embrace singlehood for now and love others and myself more? Hmmmm...I guess so... Ü
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